I'm not 100 percent positive
But I think my girlfriend is a spy
You might be wondering where I got this idea from
Sit back and I'll explain to you why

She gets calls on her cell phone at the oddest of hours
Tells me she must take this call because it is urgent
Whispers into the receiver, then walks out of the room
So I'm pretty sure she's a secret agent

I ask her out for dinner on the weekends
She tells me there's no way, she just can't
I figure she must be going on a secret mission
Perhaps somewhere in the South of France

I've had plenty of friends tell me they've seen her
Out at different times with different guys
She'd better be careful or she'll blow her cover
As a top notch international spy

Out of curiosity one day I did follow her
When I called and she didn't call back
I saw her at the mall with another man
Whom I assume is her main contact

They were at a corner table in the food court
Sitting together up close face to face
They didn't want any other spy's hearing their secrets
As they make for us this world a safer place

Now that you've heard all the evidence
You now know the reason why
I've come to the only conclusion
That my girlfriend is a spy