i wanna say it doesn’t hurt,
but every time i see you with her,
my heart starts to ache.
i wanna day that i don’t love you anymore
but every time i see your face,
i miss what we had.
i don’t regret leaving you,
because if i had stayed,
my heart would be breaking everyday.

i act like i’m heartless
to protect myself from the pain.
i pretend i don’t feel anything,
but every time i see you,
it’s like knives are entering my heart.
every word you say to me,
is tearing me apart.
leaving you broke me,
some might say i turned heartless,
but really,
i’m just using my heart less.

i shouldn’t be wasting my words on you,
but my heart is breaking open,
and i need to get them out,
before they start spilling from my lips.
i shouldn’t be dedicating my poems to you
since i know you’ll never read them,
but i can’t keep the words in.
i knew we wouldn’t last,
i was the one who couldn’t commit,
but that doesn’t mean i don’t love you.
it just means the heartbreak will pass

i want to delete,
all the messages we sent,
and all the pictures we took,
but i’m scared that once i do,
everything we had,
will turn out to be my imagination.
and i’m not ready to let go of what we had

She was beautiful
and he was kind.
She was smart,
and i was blind.

I couldn’t see myself with any.
They deserve more than me.
If they get too close,
my secrets will spill.
If they get too close,
my eyes will spill.

My heart beats only for one,
and he left me long ago.
Disappeared from my life,
much like a ghost.

Yet still i wait for him,
as though he may return.
He made his decision,
and i can’t accept.

He ruined me for any other.
He told me i was special.
And when he told her that,
I knew that i couldn’t be.

I am like a bomb,
ready to explode,
destroying all my relationships,
and self destructing til i ghost.

I may not be around for long,
but don’t take me for granted.
When i am able to,
I love hard and fast.

But as soon as you say you do,
I will run faster than i love.
My heart is sealed,
My walls are up,
And I won’t love you
No matter what.

why was i not enough for you?
am i just too much of the wrong thing?
i already changed myself for you,
i would’ve changed even more.
i want to say i hate you
for everything you did to me,
but i love you as much as before.
i’m still in love with a cheater.
i’m still in love with the one who broke me

while i was sobbing in my room,
you were with her.
while i was having panic attacks,
you were with her.
it’s was always her.
i was just a placeholder,
only there to occupy your lonely nights.
it took me months to realize,
how messed up we really were.
you could never love me,
because you’ll always be in love with her.

you said it didn’t hurt,
when i broke it off.
you asked if we could still be friends,
not knowing that being around you,
would break my heart even more.
i said i couldn’t commit,
but it was you who couldn’t take my heart.
i’m falling into pieces,
while you talk to her.
what we had didn’t mean much to you,
but you were my everything.
while i was texting you,
you were calling her.
i can’t deal with this anymore.
i can’t take the ache,
knowing that if you had to choose
between me and her,
it’d always be her.
forever her.
i don’t know what hurts more,
knowing that what we had was temporary
or wishing that it lasted longer.

i’ve blocked your number.
i’ve deleted our pictures.
i tell anyone who asks,
“he was just a phase”.
but when i see you with her,
my heart is breaking.
i can’t stand seeing you with another,
knowing that i messed up something great.
i can see my mistakes.
i can see my flaws.
i know i messed up.
but every morning,
i wake up,
and tell myself,
you mean nothing to me.