Seeing you not being there
I just pretend I don't care
even though I'm aware
missing you is not fair
yet I missed you rare
thinking of you - where?
holding my teddy bear
sitting in my favourite chair
Dreaming you would be here
wiping my one last tear
waiting for you forever
           -cute crazy-

I am over you
      And
I am moving on.....

I will always
think about you
I will always
care about you
I will always
worry about you
not because of
I love you
but because of
My heart
for it is still with you
next to yours
Take care of it
for it is Still yours
to mend......

Not many people understand me
And that's okay because
I don't want to be understood
I don't want to be a
Basic picture I want to be
A complex painting
I want to be unreadable,
Unpredictable
**I want to be different

It's always easier to write about your
Emotions then talk about them
So here I am writing away
Unsure how this will help
But certain I should at least try
I've been confused lately
Maybe I just haven't found myself yet
But I hope I find myself soon
Because I'm beginning to feel ...
**Afraid

When I was little I used to say :
I hate pink!
But now I say :
I love pink!
And although it's not much it shows
How much people **change

I fake a smile and carry on with my day
No one questions me not even a bit
No one asks me if I'm alright because
They assume my smile says it all
But when they ask I say 'I'm fine' and
Move on with my day
I'm always relieved there are no follow up questions
But there are times I wish there were
There are times I wish someone cared enough
To know the real me
Not the happy girl everyone sees
No more like **the broken girl I really am

the uncomfortable straps of my bra
the struggle of getting my **** into those jeans I like
the high heels you admire but I dread
the hours spent on hair
and some minutes on makeup
the ugly monthly visitor
the cramps
the aches
the tears
the fear of thinking no ones there
trying not to fuss
and not to fight
and always making everything right
I am woman

Those sparkling eyes
were the secret place
in which I would like
to be lost forever. ...

My life is
gonna rock
while you thinking
"****,I missed her"
you will see
how my life
will be
without you....

You will miss me
without knowing yourself
and that will be the time
you will realise
that you loved me
Deep within your heart
and then I won't be there
to love you back