And nothing will compare to that first love
unrequited, the way your heart aches
To reach out and touch her hair.
It falls like molten gold in the light
of a summer’s day in the Shakespeare
garden, you’re shaking with anticipation.
Laying in the grass, she leans over and
applies your lipstick with her finger.
Teenage adoration hangs in that lazy
afternoon, the cusp of fall, the first of
a thousand deaths.

and we went in your moms Honda
and i called you baby the whole way and
you loved it and
we spoke some deep ish for a while about the past rather than the future
we’re both afraid for what earth has in store for us
i reassured you that i have and always will love you
and then i touched a nerve
and you didn’t want to kiss me anymore

so i kinda just watched the moon past the hill
on a boulder
and looked at the city
as a couple ants started crawling up on one of my shoelaces



we both thought about how we could’ve been kissing already.
but we’re both somewhat stubborn so none of us brought it up.

so i walked down the stupid hill
as you played with your bracelet.

I will not bleed but internally
A song that seeps into me
Celebration of misery, I will not leave
Day by day, like wild grasses, like a downpour
Wind-woven, my rooted free spirit, my primal
Lover, I owe you a favor
A cleft in our head instead of our chest
I'll forgive, let you mend, just
Stay close to me and I'll stay
I'll stay close, I'll stay

i took a solemn, slow walk down the
sidewalk in front of your apartment
and i saw her,

intimidating at first but beautiful
in black lace,
Death,

sitting in a bookstore skimming through a book about Life,
oh they were an inseparable pair but
oh she was magnificent

but after contemplating for some time
i realized that in order
to be truly happy,

i must meet her.

The time I whispered
"Mascara on your cheek"

I knew I loved you.

You fished mirror, tissue
And fixed

And thanked with such
Sweet smile and

I knew you loved

Reflection in glass

just your gaze,
just rising starlight
across your rivers;

just fields of wonder
buried in those eyes.