capricorn:* cover your heart in acrylics like you are art and promise yourself you'll leave after this one last kiss (you won't, you never do)
aquarius: you never stopped trying to be your own worst nightmare and this is why people find their breath of fresh air in you
pisces: something about the way shouting something off of a rooftop never feels the same as whispering it in their ear
aries: you are both a quiet tuesday morning and a tornado in the middle of april and there's never been a more beautiful disaster
taurus: you are the apology strung between two streetlights and you will never give up on finding the worst person to love
gemini: you are something along the lines of a fairytale but i think your author was drunk because this isn't going how it should
cancer: you are something of a tsunami stored in shaky palms and uncertain breaths and she will still love you with 100 mph winds
leo: you are nothing less than the scream your heart begs to let out when you feel like you're losing them and i want to punch it out of you
virgo:  picking flower petals*—they love you, they love you not, they love you, they love you not, they love you, they know you want to die, they love y
libra: and ten years from now, you will still be falling in love with people the same way others skydive from planes
scorpio: you are more than the last "im sorry" between two people whose infinity was shorter than it should have been
sagittarius: death has been flirting with you from across the room all night long and there's a good chance that it's love at first sight

You once set loose
an army of butterflies
swarming into my stomach
by simply parting your lips
and pushing out every beautiful word
I'd ever wanted to hear.

This happened again,
and again,
until one day,
they filled up every cavern of my stomach
and slowly overflowed into my veins.

Those butterflies carried your love,
and I let them loose through my body because I trusted you.

For a while I lived in complete and utter blind ecstasy
from shooting your love up my veins
and those butterflies drove me insane
in the most beautiful and peaceful kind of insanity
brought on by so much naive happiness.

One day,
I can't remember when,
you began neglecting the butterflies that filled me
from my toes to the smug smile on my face.
I slowly felt those loving butterflies freeze,
and become something else as their wings
--once so delicate and soft enough to tickle me
from the inside and create some sort of euphoric bliss--
became frigid, icy glass shards that slowly began to cut through my veins
and rip me apart from the inside out
until they sliced through my heart just like you did
all because you decided to stop loving me.

Some days you've gotta read the story just to figure out your lines
and other days youve gotta write it just to save some time
so i sit here with my guitar and nothing much to say
but the melody keeps flowin on without me
sometimes it works that way

i like to be in full control but im the first to know to grow
sometimes you gotta learn to let things go
its hard to do im tellin you youre tellin me
sometimes i cant see
but all i can be
is me

some days you gotta read the story just to figure out your lines
some days youve gotta write the poem just to work out all the rhymes
some days the pen goes where the wind blows just so you survive
some times you just gotta watch the blood flow to remember youre alive.

(c)2013 CJM

I haven't held your hand in
10 weeks
they say the human skin
replenishes every
27 days
you've never touched this skin
and I'm scared that you never
will

just pop
another Xanax

right behind
his back

he doesn't
like the
way

they make
me act,

he doesn't understand
the anxiety
attacks
flashbacks,

or
lack of
the feeling
of security

it seems to
me theres
no safety

doesn't matter
how you
hold it
turn it sideways
or mold it

there's no way
to control
it

I finally
saved up
enough trust

but told
me they
were completely
sold out of it

and every time
I try to build
repair
and believe

somehow the
foundation just
rots like wood
and crumbles like
stone

I'm so alone
I need relief

reflect on
myself
just help...

underneath my
sleeves
I hide
my scars

- I wear them
and some have
faded

some remain
like I'll never be
able to erase them

a daily
reminder
of the loathing
and perpetual self hatred

and they say
I'll make it.
but I see how
it's wearing them down
so I'm just going to fake it

till my smile breaks it
just wishing they would
understand all of this...