THROUGH MY EYES -
BRAHMS’S HIDDEN POEM (1857)

Women I love with my heart and soul
But I am not made for matrimony
A domestic life and its trappings
Would destroy my creativity.

Clara I would protect and worship
With my life - she is perfection -
Love I would blemish and defile
If I were to mention - ‘Give me your affection’.

Ah, my beloved Robert is gone
In his tomb my heart is interned
My mentor, my friend, my inspiration
Alas, how little I gave my master in return.

My music is Robert and Clara
Our souls are by destiny wrought
History shall remember
But would understand us not.

[The reference to Robert is Robert Schumann (1810- 1856) and Clara, his wife (1819-1896). Johannes Brahms lived from 1833-1897.]

The boulder river almost called
the figure leaning on the bridge.

The height wasn't much
but one touch would crush.

He saw a doll with its blood
floating away with the current.

Thin line, he muttered under his breath,
I never realised
it was this thin.

He snatched himself away from the moment
and headed towards the rest house
thinking
I would give it a try,
some time.

If we are obedient
we will be broken.

When I submit to my calling
as a human being,
if I am true to the ambition
of the puffy spear-shaped cloud,
to the voice of the smooth rock
formed as a heart,
I will stop
stay still
let their messages
sink through the borders of my brain
saturate the surging energy
within.

I will allow myself to be pierced
by her fears of being evicted  
I’ll feel the angst about her futility
before the indifferent landlords.

I will ignore my own heartache
about Uncle Jan’s fanatical raging
and instead
ask him about his son’s cancer
hug him when he breaks down sobbing.

Obedience
to the highest measures of my humanity
has its costs…

and rewards.

Sixty plus years ago
and the pall that covers us today
takes me there
as if I'd never escaped
the dark secrets are darker
the lies run deeper
and the consequences are greater

'those who fail to learn from the mistakes
of their predecessors
are destined to repeat them'

and here we are
watching helpless as we drown in the muddy waters
of apathy
silent
we are even more unaware
as to what is truth and what is fiction

we will soon pay the price
for not listening
not reacting
to the desperate plea of salvation
and to one man
who knew the consequences

and this time there will be no chance
to find solace in our dreams
peace within our hollow contentment
for we have lost everything
that is sacred

I knew there was a turn
but it never turned up
and I kept walking straight
in search of it.

The road was familiar
the turn was on the left
in every known way
yet in the broad daylight
it left me.

I know you wouldn't believe it
neither did I
as alike a puzzled wayfarer
I kept on looking for the turn.

It happened to me.
P'raps it happens in other lives too,
the turn always there
keeps eluding.

Then when found,
it's no longer needed.

Hindered by the need for practicality,
The song that longs to heal the world
Remains unsung.
The steps that would have mended broken spirits
Remain undanced.

Blinded by the need to see reality
The cotton candy dawning clouds
Turn stormy gray.
The breeze that eases all the doubt and fear
Grows into a howling gale

Deafened by the clarion call of duty
The cries of broken little birds
Cannot be heard.
The words that float on images of grace and beauty
Remain unwritten.

Stunted by the evil of aphasia
The verses that could have lived forever
Lie entangled on the tablet.
The Laurel wreath that had my name on it
Lies now withered on the floor.
                  ljm

There's a nobody
in everybody's pocket
that's been stuffed in
and forgotten

A full bloomed rose
of any color
dethorned , betroved
and begotten

A day in paradice
reserved for one
but somehow has
all been undone

Take a chance on
the life belittled
dumped and stuffed
into someone's pocket