Somedays that's all i got
And sometimes it's enough
Like a teenage recollection
Of a last picture show
Through a cinematic haze
Of blue nails and red lips
You're still with me here
These are my memories
These are my days
I can't even tell if it's love
But i always seem to reconnect
Just to know that magic dies
Buried deep in glass grey eyes
Yet they see that you're happy
And there is nobody here to say
If i'm really sad or just doing ok
There will be a light, a night
In a white sequin dress
Together we will be
Hours before your wedding day
Maybe i will read my bad poetry
Maybe i'll say, all i needed to say
Or maybe, we'll sit in a silent way
Captured as a series of polaroids
On a screen that's seen better days
Illuminate night as our northern star
I still need to breathe, i need to feel
And i want to still know your mind
I want to  still see the world thru you
For sometimes that's all i got
And somedays that's enough
Somedays that's more than enough

He tells her it's over, he's leaving
he's done.
She wanted an explanation
but he didn't give her one.
So angry, shocked and confused
she sat there in that same spot
for hours, she couldn't move.
Finally she gets up to go lay in her bed
Surprising glad she was alone
She didn't feel like explaining what happened to anyone
Ignoring the constant rings from her phone
A short time later, a knock at the door
He changed his mind
He came back to tell her he wouldn't leave her anymore
But disappointment sets in
as her friends walk in
Even more tears now because it wasn't him
Her friends refused to see her upset they were taking her out
and not sit here and cry over this *******.
Renea you're alright you can do this
Just get yourself together
Life isn't always blue skies and sunshine
There's going to be stormy weather
Use your strength as a shield to keep away the pain
Just as an umbrella shields you from getting wet by the rain.
So, out they are
And of course at a bar
Soon she's regretting she even came
Until she heard the voice of an angel asking her name.
She turned to look and as she expected it wasn't who she wanted it to be
Just another strange guy at the bar that she didn't care to see.
But there was something different about him
Something genuine and sweet
She couldn't ignore him and be mean
My name is Renea.
Well hey Renea, my name is Chris.
So do you often come out to places like this?
Sometimes, but not often
I don't want to be here now but I got dumped today
So my friends brought me out
they said they were tired of seeing me frown.
“Well, you are here now
Let me buy you a drink .
No-don't give me that look it's not what you think.
I too,want to see you smile.
All I ask is to give me a chance with just one dance.”
Normally there wouldn't be a chance, a dance, not even a glance
But she couldn't walk away
She couldn't say no.
Could he make her smile?
No sure why but she needed to know
And wanted to find out before it was time to go.
She gave him one dance,
one dance after another
And for the rest of the night there was no one else there
Just the two of them dancing and smiling at each other.
The time had come the night was over.
As he walked her out SHE asked HIM if he wanted her number.
When she got home she laid by the phone
Hoping he would call and eventually he did and so it began
Everytime they'd meet
He swept her off her feet
His warm, long, tight hugs
His soft gentle touch
His meaningful, passionate kiss
She couldn't get enough
Though she'd never felt it before
She was certain she had fell in love.

those were the best days of our lives
those were the days
tomorrow shall not shine brighter than yesterday
but i still believe in you
an angel on a pin that pricked my skin
coursing through my bloodstream evermore
etching your name upon my soul
endlessly spun and wove around my core

i will always try to help you through this maze
although the path you've found is true
you've begun to shine like those same stars
so much more than i could ever promise you
sometimes i may seem carelessly distracted
sometimes you may wish to call me blue
as the lights go out and on once more
i'll always and forever believe in you

now looking and living through another's eyes
for my place with you could never be
your happiness must depend on someone new
as mine dissolves in this darkened morning hue
where descending devil beasts begin to breathe
in a familiar tale told once more
yet my veins will swell and my heart shall repel
for my angel on a pin, you'll call as you live
   for now
              and
                      for always
                                       forever within

If only you'd take me for a fool
And not take me for granted like you do
I would rather live on in some ignorant bliss
Than taste the reality of this deathly kiss
For this is too easy to understand  
This is too easy to lose ourselves in
If you would only take me for another and not as I am
To lay me down on this cold hard ground
Pick up my pieces in some different form
A brand new me raised from your ideal storm

If only you'd take me for a fool
As fools are the ones who fall in love
Whose words seem to fall from the stars above
Dancing till dawn under cider filled skies
They are the ones that carry life in their eyes
So rescue me from this vagueness that consumes
Our daily routine of me versus you
And yet maybe you do, at night when i dream
Delivering my innocence rebirthed anew
For only a fool could keep returning to you

Pulling off my scarf
letting it drape like a resignation
across the back of a chair
The sun is setting
the room is dim
and almost orange –  and is
sometimes lonely
in its loss of day

I think of you now –  

and then

We were walking with our arms around each other

Always...

through the Boston Common
The air drizzled
with late-winter
melts
the cobbles
wet
The sounds of our steps
go on –  

Forever....

I turn to hang my coat

Night replaces you again
__


1-29-18

And i can't take my mind
From that hairdresser i frequent
Just had her second baby
Right after her father had died
To leave her care for a half brother
That is lost to the angst of teenage pride
Unknown a mother on a drug fuelled ride
Stacey the one to pick pieces as they fall
For she is beautiful, she never cries.
She only ever smiles, she only smiles

To her my coat of colours i do gift
On a hook does it hang
As her life she strips bare
With an ease of fallen discarded hair
Her colours unfurl in humility and grace
Her red is of creation, of a burning fire
Not one of foolish unrepentant desire
Her blue a reality, a living breathing sky
Not the word of a poet, not of you nor of I
Her green is her renewal
Of the fertile lives that she now tends
Jealousy nor envy no means to that end
Yet evening falls, in who will she confide?  
No one to turn to, nowhere to hide
For she is beautiful, she never smiles  
She only ever cries, she only cries

I used to keep score of every teardrop that would flow
Until like some punch drunk boxer you couldn't give no more
Bells they sounded and to corners we returned
Red to red dirt ground, blues retreat to blossom in bloom
As our hazy Mondays blur through to vague Thursdays
What we had in November was lost come September

A galaxy of oceans separate my disappointment from my disappointment in you
Yet for a chance encounter on a lonely Friday night
Our shadows would dance bathed in the crystal moonlight
For magic it weaves through the diamonds of a roadside bar
Our senses unravelled by some mystical cabalistic charm
So why should we ever try to make sense of it all
Seconds out - round two, don't ever stop, don't ever fall

our love i feel is an ancient love
from a smaller world of greater ideal
a love so touched by the stars above
never to fall so as to become so real

our love i feel is an ancient love
an unspoken word of a long lost tongue
flies on the wing of an immortalised dove
to transcribe in dreams and nightly song

yet this night is upon, this night is cold
and sleep she refuses my welcome plea
this ancient love a story no longer told
white winged doves carry my angel free
now what is left, what is there of me
bereft of meaning, vanquished by decree
yet i will treasure each harbored memory
consigned to sail our love through history