Death stops by to remind us
how beautifully fragile life is
and with her
you have gone away
and yet you are still here
in the quite moments
between my heart beat
and the silent space
between the tears falling
and I can still feel the warmth
of your laughter
and still hear the comfort
of your voice
I know not where you have gone
or if we will meet again
so what luck it was
what a privilege it has been
to have had you in it
my beautiful friend

Dear friend... I know I don’t call as often as I should... and lets be honest we can just about say, I dont call at all and I am sorry I am not better at keeping in touch.  I know we all get tired, we all work and a lot of us have jobs we don’t necessarily like, but we have to survive through the ******* parts of life to get by.  So we put in our forty hours a week, or more... and the end of the day comes too soon and we still have too much left to do and we fall into the routine of tomorrow, I’ll call tomorrow or for sure this weekend... and **** comes up, not important ****...just small distractions and maybe a little insecurity or excuses and we don’t or I don’t.... and months go by and years turn into more years and I haven’t heard your voice on the phone or in person and I think, this weekend... this weekend... but then the weekend ends and next week ends and its been another year.  And trust me, I ******* miss you, I really do... all of you.  And maybe I will call... one day... but if I dont, know that I love you and I am grateful for whatever time we spent together that allowed me to become your friend, for whatever it was that made my heart open and grow and forever hold a space for you to be a part of it.  I can still hear your voice as clears in my memory as if you were sitting here now and it brings the same warmth and comfort as any hug a grandmother might give us.  I hope we both live long enough to see each other again, to talk about absolutely nothing important and to laugh about the things that seem to big and cumbersome to hold on our own and I hope I don’t forget to tell you I love you when we do.  When the day comes when we have no choice but to say goodbye, to whichever one of us escapes this life first, to whoever finds out what comes next next, I hope of all the things we might take with us... I hope it will be the love we shared.  

And on a side note, I know I rarely answer my phone, but if you call and I am awake, or if you wake me up, I will and I will be happy to hear your voice and I will tell you I love you...

Answers, biological bonds, communication can cause definite decisions demanding dominance, expansion eternally endeavoring enrichment equally for friends, for foes, forever freely giving generously, gemüt gestalt generating genesis growth.

I can feel the gravity
savage sadness grabbing me
like a stabbing agony
panicking heartbeat rapidly

like a drastic atrophy
the tapestry of travesty
applicable calamity
catastrophe is my canopy

the faculty of tragedy
with no strategy for amnesty
the laxity of sanity
I can feel the gravity