I can hardly bring myself to sleep ---
     my pillows are still so wet
I'm drowned on the ocean of tears,
     from these hours I should forget;
Pretending I'm still holding on,
     but it feels so different
And now I have nothing else left ---
     for you to break.

They don't know about the love we have for each other.
Do they know about the silly nicknames we have for each other?
The hearty laughter we shared from our inside jokes?
Or the secret language that belongs strictly to us?

They don't know about the love we have for each other.  
Do they know about the intimate passion that we would constantly fall victim to?
The brief moments when we held heaven and hell in the palm of our hands & spoke to God?
Or the vulnerable moments where we released the private sections of our past?

They don't know about the love we had for each other.
Do they know that we used to be one soul but now we are just two bodies?
The days that we spent arguing and spilling tears over the silliest little things?
Or the day he released my soul so he can rest in the arms of his lioness?

They don't know about the love we had for each other.
Do they know about the fantasy world she trapped herself in to escape the life without him?
The nights she spent wandering when she would finally numb the aching pain?
Or the times she wished she could go back to her past & forget ever meeting him?

They will never know.

******* on my teeth and clicking my heels
I drink Smirnoff out of a coffee mug
The one with “I love my Grandma” stamped across the front
It’s Tuesday night
and I want nothing more
than to feel all right
College is ****
My classmates, conservative ****** bags with too much to say
So **** the weekend, let’s party now
Get hammered and show up to class still buzzing
Let’s call up our ex’s and show them how dysfunctional we truly are
Get naked and finger paint
Maybe even watch Fight Club
Hell, I don’t care
I’m just trying to make sense
So what if the Earth revolves around the Sun
Tonight
I just want the world to revolve around us

I want you to be
as ****** up as me

We are just one
big conflagration.

One hope
for oxygen
as we spread over the earth
in fire
hoping to burn
forever.

I keep having
these war dreams.

A soldier
stalks my yard
cradling
an
M4.

The bullets ring in golden hiccups
at my head.

So,
I die.

Their was a  bartendress
in a costume
of superlatively
curly
black hair
and a tight body
snugged into
a tight blue dress
that shows off her upper thighs
and exposed
musclely
short legs.

Rests her hand
with splayed fingers
on the wet table.

She asked,
with a long tattoo
of the ****** of Guadalupe
snaking
down her wrist,

"Are you all right,
do you want any more?"

"No."

I tell her.

No,
I don't want anymore.

This
is how you tell a story.

From the beginning
to
the end.

When you told her that you
liked her and wanted to hold
her soft lips.

To the moment
she smacks
the **** out of you,
and your face burns
with your heart.

Shaking hot fingers.
Shaking hot stomach.
Shaking hot lungs.
Shaking hot
veins
bubbling
with the beer
running through them
as the soft bed
lightens
under a new
lonely weight..

My fear is
of looking over and being
alone and drunk.

We fuss. We
            fight. We
    shout. We
   cry.

But after those
      tiresome quarrels
   and arguments,
                      it always ends up
          with a smile.

                We hold
     each other's back,
          and that's
               how
                    crazy we're in love.