Are you really unhappy
Is that what you really feel
Or is it something you made up
Believed in it so much you've made it real
Tell me you deep dark secrets
I promise they won't be revealed
Why are you always so angry
Is it because your dad isn't here
Do you feel abandoned
What's going on in the inside
Why can't you let anyone in
It's terrible to hold everything in
Your only hurting yourself
You keep everything bottled up
Eventually your going to bust
I can hear you screaming on the inside
You just want someone to trust
But your never going to be happy
Unless you learn how to open up

Your on a path to conquer my heart
But the ground has been ***** trapped with land mines since the start
Buried so you couldn't see
This trail has been long closed
The warning sign
Has grown fragile
And infected with mold  
But like an idiot you venture forth
Driven by feelings you just can't control
They send you on a surge to try and claim this path
I wish I could tell you it was just the land mines trying to keep you back
If you shall make it past
You will find yourself standing before a forest
With barbed wire hanging from the branches instead of leaves
And this isn't the end
If the other two didn't stop you before
This definitely will put a stop to you
Beyond the tress you will find an oasis
But don't fooled by its beauty
Or you will find yourself in the mouth of quick sand
I advise you turn and walk away
Because you never had a chance

Don't get to close
My breath reeks of death
And if you look closely
You can see the flesh eating maggots
Crawling behind my eyes  
Along with the beetles
Slithering beneath my skin  
Inside my muscles decay
And my organs have rotted away
I'm just a walking corpse
Without a grave
Because inside
Ive already died

In her eyes this is never going to end
She's confident this will last forever
And we will always be together
But if she was smart
She would look in the mirror
And recite to her reflection
That it's just a beautiful lie

This family is filled with hypocrisy
Do as I say not as I do
The fool is you
For you obey
You conform to their ways
You desire approval
But receive disgrace
Mess up and you'll pay  
But shut your eyes
and close the door maybe they'll be nice,
Oh what hope there is to grasp at the wake of that end, but none for now, hold your breath
Wait till you turn blue
But in that last gasp for air they'll pinch your nose and hold your mouth, shhh a little longer they'll whisper until finally your gone

I must've heard the phrase
hundreds of times by now.
"My life's going to hell
in a handbasket."
Or some such variance.
Only recently have I become able
to tell you what that actually looks like.
See
you start with a cute wicker basket.
The kind grandma might give you muffins in.
Then you place all the things you've managed to hold onto
inside of it.
Your friends, your family, your job.
Next goes in all those possessions you hold dear.
Your car, your house, your dog.
Lastly
in go the intangibles.
Your hope.
Your dreams.
All your positive feelings.
Then you set the ******* on fire
and watch it all burn away.

The only thing
I have left.
Is the desperate hope
(an evil thing it is)
that long after I've departed
someone
somewhere
will read my words
and feel better for them.
I don't desire
to fix a soul
but I surely pray
maybe
just maybe
something I've said
will get you to tomorrow.

When you're afraid
you lose out.
You'll miss opportunities you could have had.
When you're angry
you'll ruin all opportunity set in front of you.
Anger leads to spite
and spite crushes all that lies in front of it.
When you're depressed
you'll just stop
or you'll want to.
Depression and sadness
lead to a path that ends where it began.
But hope.
Hope is our most dangerous of all emotions.
It comes from nothing.
We as human beings
will create hope anywhere
at anytime.
And
while to some this may seem powerful
I can't help but find it a flaw.
There is nothing worse in this world
not apathy
not rage
not terror
than being left without that spark you created.
There is nothing worse
than finding your hopes to be false.

When my world fell apart

Yours appeared to start

Good Luck

You f*ck

I won't let you break my heart

Where?
Where does misery end
and
happiness begin?
I'm now certain
the line does not reside
at the bottom of a bottle.
I've finished many
to find nothing but an empty vessel.
I've chain smoked my way
through a thousand packs
to find myself still wanting.
I've loved.
I've hated.
And still I have to ask
where?
Where is the line one crosses
into happiness?
Into peace.

Sorry for the brown napkins, tissues and plastic bottles I sometimes throw on you

Unveiled from her weaved basket
Cookies, candy and ice cream cake
Sandwiches, chips and lemonade
All this so my opinion of this failing relationship can be swayed
So far her attempts of saving this affair have all been a bust
But this time it will be a win
It's must
But before this starts off good
There's a gust of wind ripping the sheet from her hands
Dragging it off in the distance
And kicking up stinging dust
Tainting the food
And before it settles the sun is eclipse by darkened clouds
There's a drip on my hand
Her last attempt to save us
Failed again
As it starts to rain