We pick and choose
What to believe
What hurts us most
Is released
Before the tears
And suffering
Old cherished myths
Our self deceit
The center of
Our universe
Revolves around
A different sun
The meaning
That we give to life
In a flash is
All undone
So then we tremble
On our beds
And pause
In silent
Humble prayer
The fear is of
The unknown God
The search for guidance
Anywhere
It’s hard to even understand
The layers of pain
That we meet
It seems cruel to keep us
From the truth
Deny the food
That we need
Yet we keep our faith
And we resist
We’re not closet
Existentialists
We may cry in pain
We may question why
But our hope in God
Just never dies

Très ****
Si ****
La distance
Entre nous
Malgré
Nos efforts
Et nos espoirs
C’est exactement
Comme prevu
Même si
Je peux distinguer
Tes émotions
Très, très claires
Dès fois
L’amour
Ne suffit pas
Malgré
Ce qu’on
Espère

This Sad Rarity

So far
So great
A distance
Exists
Between
Our souls
Lost hope
And wasted
Effort
Where pain
Has taken toll
It’s exactly
What they told me
Although
Your feelings
I clearly see
This time
Love won’t save us
In this sad
Rarity

The person you left
Is not there
You’ve returned
But he isn’t home
You’re a refugee
Without a future
Always searching
Cursed to roam
You’re torn between
The past and present
What you were
And who you are
And if you could
You’d rebuild
That foundation
When the angels sang
With the morning stars

Il y a longtemps
Que je t’aime
Et je ne peux pas
Me reveiller
Même si
Maintenant
C’est le matin
Et je dois
Me preparer
Pour un voyage
Très, très ****
En chassant
Le soleil
Un voyage
A un montagne
Où je peux
Tout surveiller
Il y a longtemps
Que je t’aime
Et sans les dire
Les mots sont vrai
Tu es toujours
Dans mes rêves
Et mon âme
Est obsèdé

In the Shadow of My Dreams

I’ve loved you
For what seems
Like ages
Now I simply
Can’t wake up
Even though
The sun has risen
And a new day
Has begun
For I’m
On a long, long
Journey
As far
As my soul permits
But in the shadow
Of my dreams
It’s you
I can’t forget

Des fois quand
Je pense à toi
Dans le silence
Même si c’est
Du déjà vu
Il faut garder
Une distance
Car il fait froid
Encore une fois
Avec un vent
Bruyant
L’aire est glaciale
Et la vie arrête
Avec tous ces
Mensonges

Life Comes to a Halt

Sometimes in the quiet
I am haunted by you
It’s hard to keep that distance
Although it’s déjà vu
For it’s freezing cold again
And a piercing wind blows
And life comes to a halt
With each lie that is told

Tell me
You who hide
In ballrooms ablaze
Sparkling diamonds
And smiling gaze
Admiration
Close and afar
Can you finally admit
Who you really are?
You ask me why
You're acting so
Why you're flying high
When you're feeling so low
Why you run
When you're close
Why you just
Shut that door
Why you simply can't go
Where you've been
Once before?
As you curl at the feet
Of someone you love
Denying it's real
At the things that you want
And the things that you miss
That you mention to no one
And will not admit
Yet you told me the truth
You whispered the words
In the middle of the night
When no one else heard

I can’t seem to get
The hurting to stop
The emotions run deep
And I can’t let it drop
You breeze into my life
And dance up a storm
You embrace and you leave
As if it’s the norm
And I’m left with this churning
And deep sense of loss
But you’re happy and smiling
As if there’s no cost
I don’t like where it’s going
Or what I’ve been through
It’s a choice how I feel
And it’s not something new
I’ve had it explained
So often before
You just can’t force open
A closed, bolted door
So peace is a treasure
You give to yourself
How you face disappointment
And the dreams that you’ve shelved

Hey I told you
That spring
Follows winter
And the sun
With clear
Blue skies
Yet your world
Is always spinning
And you always
Question why
Seems you're lost
But you're not
Actually
You're right
Where you should be
Seems the answer
Was just
A step away
Bursting
Through the seams
Emotions
Are your friends
They say
A true
And faithful guide
But sometimes
They get you
All confused
From the truth
They try to hide
And all it takes
Is a quiet breath
A thought
You haven't had
And suddenly
The world is changed
And good
Comes out of bad

Qui sont les noms
Sur ta liste?
As tu suivi
La meillure piste?
Oui, on est sain
Et on est sauf
Mais l’ amour n’est pas
Un sale boulot
C’est ironique
Les choix qu’on fait
Quand l’avenir
Est decidé
Donc, ouvre le livre
Et trouve un vers
Et vis ta vie
A l’envers
Mais tu connais
La verité
On peut la voir
Dans tes yeux
Tu as tes rêves
Et tes espoirs
Et l’essentiel
Est en vue
Ton coeur te mene
Et ne ment pas
Tu sens cette
Realité
Fais attention
Aux signes reçus
On ne peut pas
Les ignorer

Your List

What are the names
On your list?
What path did you follow
Or did you miss?
Yes, you are safe
And you are sound
But the search for love
Won’t wear you down
It’s funny all
The choices we make
When what’s decided
Is at stake
Right! Use the book
And find a verse
And live your life
In reverse!
But I can see
You know the truth
It is written in your eyes
Your hopes and dreams
And all that counts
Are there for you
To realize
You know it is
Your faithful heart
That will lead you
To what’s in store
Just pay attention
To all the signs
That’s one thing
That you can’t ignore

I took a vacation
From myself
And saw the world
Through others’ eyes
I listened to their
Deepest fears
And memorized
Their lullabies
I took the focus
Off my needs
And placed it
On the other soul
I saw the beauty
In their eyes
I saw the pain
The deepest tolls
I sent a message
From deep within
Love and trust
That were unfurled
I watched their faces
Brightening
As rapport
Transformed my world

I have my sanity
Freedom
And the ability
To breathe
I have clarity of mind
Health
And all my being intact
I have all my emotions
I have forgiveness, kindness
Tenderness and mercy
I have courage
Strength, power
And endurance
I have the presence of God
His love
And His healing
I have much, much more
Than what I lack
I have what cannot
Be taken away:
Dignity, self respect
And hope
Integrity
And a clear conscience

Sometimes…
We lose our minds
And imagine a world
Of brilliant sunshine
We invent a story
The hours to fill
And then it hits home
As it always will
So don’t be confused
Don’t lose your way
Just take the time
To hear your heart say:
It’s always better
To accept what is
And the things that you have
Not the things that you miss
That’s when
You wake up
And the turmoil
Has ceased
And you stretch
And relax
In the empty sheets

Essuie tes larmes
Leve-toi
L’heure de la tristesse
Est passé
Joins-toi aux vivants
Car il reste beaucoup
A faire
Est ces larmes n’ont rien
Effacé
Mais tu peux voir
Encore une fois
Même avec tout ce qui
S’est passé
Le debut d’un rêve
Avec des yeux d’espoir
Ta vie
Comme une personne sensé
Ne pleure pas
Ne sois pas triste
Ouvre, pour que
Puissent
Entré
L’amour et la joie
Qui te reviendront
Comme tu n’y a jamais
Pensé

Once Again (English version)

Dry your tears
And get up
For the time
Of sadness
Is over
Rejoin the living
There is much
To be done
And these tears
Cannot bring
You closure
But now
You can see
Once again
A new dream
With hope to inspire
Your life now sane
And wise again
Even though
You’ve gone
Through the fire
So do not cry
And don’t be sad
Open up
So you can
Receive them
Love and joy
Coming
To you
In a way
You’d scarcely
Believe in

It’s the time you take
To say the things
That matter most each day
It’s the time you spend
To listen, care
Help others on their way
It’s the little things
That mean the most
The thoughts, the words
The actions
It’s the giving of yourself
In love
This empowering interaction
For the greatest works
Of art were made
By an artist’s
Paint filled strokes
By each strike
Of a sculptor’s chisel
By each word
An actor spoke
And so our lives
Are filled throughout
With small deeds
That cannot wait
For how you do
The littlest things
Is exactly
What makes you great

You know when she’s got that look
There’s nothing you can do
Your words will fall to the earth
Until she’s done with you
Your arguments will just dissolve
You know you can’t resist her
Time and space just seem to stop
And you realize that you’ve missed her

But she’s fine, oh so fine
I don’t think you should regret it
You don’t know what she’s all about it
If you knew, you would have said it

Now she’s got you where she wants you
You’ve forgotten oh so much
And the pleasure covers all the pain
And all your fears are hushed
But you remember in the silence
And in your passing thoughts
And you wonder to yourself
What’s this ticket that you’ve bought?

But she’s fine, oh so fine
I don’t think you should regret it
You don’t know what she’s all about
If you knew you would have said it

There is peace
Where there is trust
Honesty and frankness
Of knowing what you're dealing with
And who you really are
There is comfort in relaxing
And letting down defenses
You can hear it in the laughter
As you gaze up at the stars
There is healing
With acceptance
There is freedom with forgiveness
A lightened heart of joy
And pain that fades away
There is hope
And new beginnings
Salvation in its glory
When faith gives birth to promise
And you step into that day

It's just so **** beautiful
And indescribable
The feeling that I get
In the early morning sun
Hanging like a golden torch
Shining with such blinding light
The glare reflecting off the lake
On the day that’s just begun
Amid the fluttering leaves the breeze
Feels like life is reaching me
Speaking in a gentle voice
Bringing tears to my eyes
Kissing me upon my face
Soft in love, as if to say
*I love you my beloved one
This is your own sunrise

You were dancing on the waves
Amid the beams of gold
Glittering in your brilliance
Just beyond the inner pull
All around was the morning
The promise just begun
You could feel the shifting starting
When all was fresh and young
You were whispering at the edges
Of a love that we once knew
You were smiling at a distance
But the pain you were going through
Masked the sunshine of that day
And drove away the sun
Your tears fell gently as the rain
Before the day was done

Obstacles arise
And fears set in
When faith gives way
And trust wears thin
How is this possible?
You surmise
As you search for portents
In threatening skies
Yet shafts of light
Shine through the gloom
Words of promise
And assurance loom
Against the facts
So cruelly hurled
You can accept what is
Or change the world

You cannot
Grasp a butterfly
Nor hold
Sun’s golden beams
The joy is real
But no bottle holds
The stuff
That is made of dreams
You cannot buy
Your happiness
You cannot pay
For peace
Force love
Into a storage box
For those rainy days
To keep
These priceless treasures
Are a gift
Innate
In our creation
Accessed
Through the inner door
Of faith
And inspiration

The feelings come
From roots so deep
The déjà vu
The slow repeat
Of thoughts so strong
They immobilize
Blur the vision
And paralyze
All actions, joy
And zest for life
Swirls of panic
Cut like a knife
Need to breathe
And think again
Calm the heart
Observe it when
The dark clouds stir
The tempests rage
As you struggle in vain
To turn the page
Observe the emotions
Do not judge
And from unconscious
Realms you’ll nudge
The thoughts that
Got you to this point -
All stressed out
And out of joint

I feel pride
When I see the uniform
My son so tall
And strong
Quiet
Yet focused
With a sharp mind
Commanding respect
With just his look
Beneath is steel
And determination
Will power unyielding
Save to its own
Intelligence
Judgment
Discernment
Leadership
Not learned from books
Nor in lecture halls
But from inner growth
That happens
So mysteriously
In ways unknown
But of this
One thing is certain:
Grow the man
And the rest will follow
As surely as spring
Follows the season of snow

So you say you’ve come together
And the past’s been washed away
You’ve been brought back to the present
And you live where life has sway
Yet I hear the sorrow trembling
In the echoes of your pain
And I know the final healing
Is just going to have to wait

I feel sunshine on my shoulders
Touch the coolness of the rain
Hear the birds so softly singing
As they greet a brand new day
Yet I see the beauty of a life
Snuffed out sadly like a flame
And I know the final healing
Is just going to have to wait

When I am still
In quietness and prayer
I think of you
As I turn my soul
To eternity
At that moment
I am calm
And fear recedes
Like the ebbing tide
Clarity shines like the moon
On winter’s night
Insight comes
As suddenly as sunrise
In early spring
And courage meets me
With a still small voice
Deeper than reason
That tells me the path
To follow
Upward, onward
To more fullness
Of being
How can this be?
I thought the answer
Would be some eternal truth
But it is this:
Love
Deep, pure and constant
And I know
At that moment
I am truly alive
And that I love you

We talked of things
Yet to come
And choices to decide
We talked of past
And of pain
And you were by my side

We talked of feelings
Anger, hurt
When jealousy abides
We talked of sadness
And of strength
And you were by my side

We talked of moments
And warm embrace
That flicker and then die
That come to visit us
In grace
And you were by my side

On the cross and in our lives
The light dispels the darkest day
Exposure burns away the night
Releases those beneath its sway
Turning sorrow into good
Letting love find its way
Transforming what’s been understood
Not letting pain have final say
Tricking evil into the open
Disarming powers past obeyed
Turning lead into gold
The art of alchemy displayed

You can’t return
There’s no one home
The person that you left’s
Not there
You say you’ve changed
But so have I
It’s not that I don’t feel or care
We can’t go back
To what we had
It’s disappeared
Into the blue
I’m living in the now
You see
The past’s just something
I went through

Why this lingering sadness?
You have been loved from your creation
The day you were placed upon this earth
Your mother was thrilled to see your face
And your father's heart leapt for joy
Why doubt the goodness of your existence?
Your soul is of eternity
The mind of God conceived you
You were thought of in a sea of light and purity
No stain was found in your being
Should you now reject the kindness of God?
Each breath, each ray of sunshine
Every miracle of life?
Have you forgotten that God is in the details
Or have you listened to the lies?
You are on a journey home and each day is a gift
Feel your life, be grateful
Believe that good will come out of darkness
Life out of death
And healing from even the most grievous injury
Rejoice, be happy for all is well
And this sadness will pass like a storm driven cloud
And you will stand
In the brilliance of the sun
After the rain

You can fast and pray
For the world to change
You can cry to God
Ask in His name
He answers
But it's hid from your eyes
Until one day
You realize
It's you who've changed
And have grown
Lessons learned
True self known
Perception shift
Wisdom anew
The answer to prayer
Has come through
You

Disheveled, staggering
Consternation
The debate surreal
The participation
Is optional but I decide
To talk to the man
To hear inside
What do you think
of manipulation?
What causes these
machinations?
Lies to force and to control...
I must admit
He was on a roll
And then the same day
In the eve
With a woman
About to leave
She talks about
This very thing
Same behavior
With a different ring
And then I came
To realize
It can't be hid
Nor disguised
Both fools in rags
And ladies in style
Can spot a liar
From a mile

Shadows of a distant memory
Same reactions, point of view
Close but distant, so familiar
Yet walking from the world we knew
Did we ever know each other?
What was myth and what was real?
But I swear we loved each other
No matter how we both now feel
And the changing, rearranging
Continues through what seems the same
For I'm not that ancient person
Though I answer to my name

We don't need to explain the how
To understand the what or why
We only need to feel the wow
The joy of morning, the bluest sky
We don't need to follow rules
Obey a certain rote or rhyme
Healing flows when we let go
Embrace it now in space and time
We don't need to force the way
See ahead to the farthest shore
We only need to open up
And live what now has in store
We don't need to know all truth
Understand all mysteries
All we need is to accept in love
The healing that restores and frees

What is real and what is fake?
The drama is there in each out take
The spotlight shines, the crowd looks up
The change rattles in the beggar’s cup
So there you are in blood and flesh
With glistening eyes and low cut dress
And wit and charm and graceful style
Your beautiful face and dazzling smile
And you question if the date is real
As I tremble at the way I feel.

We are all just fallen angels
Who’ve forgotten who we are
Sunburst from the realm of glory
Shadows of a distant star
Created, formed in perfect splendor
Placed in time and space and earth
To live and move and have our being
Touched with wonder from our birth

They say that love
Is friendship warmed
But we know
It’s more than that…
It’s a presence
A power
A feeling so deep
That  keeps us coming back…
Love that grows within
Our hearts
Does not hold nor cling
It only asks what can be done
What service it can bring
It is a love that heals and restores
Brings wisdom, fresh insight
It’s wrapped in peace
And calms the soul
From worry and from fright
It is emotion focused, honed
To bless and lift you up
That flows from sources
Still unknown
All pain it interrupts
So accept this gift
It’s freely given
From someone whom you know
Who cherishes you deeply
In his heart
But always lets you go.

How can you say
You don’t believe in love anymore
When the stars still come out
In all their twinkling splendour
And my universe
Simply sings
At the sound of your voice?
You see, I caught you in a lie
Loving someone
And that someone cannot describe
In words
What he is feeling
It’s like
The feeling of a little child hearing
His mother’s voice
When she comes home from work
Or a father hearing his newborn son’s
First feeble cry
Or the joy of a fondest dream
Fulfilled

It is love
That heals the human heart
Without exception
And for this reason
It is the most precious gift
That you can give
To another
Love touches our pain
And brokenness
And makes us whole
Because it is a force
An energy
More powerful
Than the forces
That have cast us down
Despair, sadness
Sorrow, grief and
Loneliness
Are all healed by love
Hope, faith
And courage
Are fed by its pure, strong
Burning fire
By it
Wisdom is taught
Truth is nuanced
Honesty purified
Whatever is noble on this earth
Has its birth in love
It is the one emotion
That makes us more like God
Than any other
So listen to these words of wisdom:
Cherish love wherever it is found
Treat it as the most precious thing
On this earth
For it is the secret you have been looking for
It is the key to all understanding
And tears shed in love
Are sweet and beautiful
And the fountain of life
Love can never be overrated

I shivered in
The freezing cold
I dialed the number
My bare hand froze
The flames burned hot
In winter’s night
And parliament
Filled my sight
Veiled in winter’s
Majesty
I described the scene
For you to see
And as I talked
My heart just glowed
Full of love
Country and snow

When life happens
And you are young
There is nothing
But confusion
You are helpless
Don't have a choice
And draw
The wrong conclusion
A hug, a word
A gentle touch
Can turn
That fragile emotion
For growth
Is not just physical
It's your spirit
That's in motion
You form, you grow
Within yourself
Through love
And interaction
The unseen growth
Of your soul
In thought, feeling
Reaction
So when our bodies
Are full grown
And now the issues
Surface
We look back
To our childhood
To find our inner purpose
So often
We've believed a lie
Self taught
Or others have said it
The damage done
To our surprise
It cripples
If we let it
Forget the cruelties
Of this earth
My special
Wonderful child
Be healed
Of all the wrong
That's been
And allow your life
To smile
Your spirit now
Is formed
And strong
Don't believe
Your childhood dictums
Get up in courage
And live your life
And remove
The victim

I stand at Santa Monica’s edge
The warm night breeze
Rustling in the palm trees
The crescent moon
Casting its magic glow
On the black, black waters
Amid the stately palms
Twisted ancient trees
Grow like abstract art
The lights of Malibu
Sparkle on the hill
On the other side of the bay
The harsh fluorescent glare
Of the pier behind me
And I pick up my cell phone
And call back home
Because it’s just too **** beautiful
Not to share with someone

When someone loves another person
The world around them is transformed
A blast of winter becomes the setting
For a shelter from the storm
The rain becomes a softening presence
Cleansing, calming, setting right
The air is filled with expectation
Of company in darkest night

When someone loves another person
The rules are changed and lose their form
No law on earth or in heaven
Can halt the magic love performs
So why hold back what is healing?
Why stop what nurtures and defends?
If you can stop the world from spinning
Then tell love that its work must end

Freed from a weight
I could not carry
That bore me down
And wore me out
I float above
The clouds of worry
Step from the wreckage
Of fear and doubt
Before me lies
A golden future
Of choice and freedom
And inner growth
Accepting that
My life is worthy
Of time and energy
And now both
The past mistakes
And all the good things
Fall behind
In retrospect
Peace descends
Excitement rises
For all the good
I now expect

Every day small miracles
Grace the lives of countless
In prayers and thoughts and wishes cried
Just coincidences doubtless

Yet I’d rather have a miracle
And eyes of faith to witness
The gracious hand of a loving God
And tender acts of kindness.

I wish the words
Of romance I'd speak
Flowed in Mediterranean Greek
Or Spanish dreams
Italian poems
The thoughts would fly
The feelings roam
I could kiss your face
With subtle French
With rhythm, flow
With sheer grace drench
Instead it's English
That is the tool
To express what's inside
To play the fool
And so I tell you
You're one in a million
In words that are so
Utilitarian

You’re stuck between two moving worlds
The familiar and the unknown
You shift without even realizing it
Like a sailor pining for home
The flashbacks haunt you constantly
The feelings that creep and seep
Memories so alive and fresh
That reach and sting so deep
And the present form is changing
The past has vaporized
What you see is now an illusion
Disappearing before your eyes
Your mind tells you that it’s over
That it’s time to be moving on
But your soul is screaming inside of you
Of all that’s horribly wrong
So you live a conflicted being
Torn and limping past
Your shadows ever following you
And you wonder how you’ll last

God is bigger
Than our expectations
Of whom He is
Or our limitations
He unfolds our lives
With many surprises
That destroy our myths
As one realizes
He works in ways
That don’t fit our own thinking
We don’t see it all
There are more dots to be linking
Yet still we fight back
And the unknown we loathe
Try to push back the tides
And stop our own growth
We don’t realize what’s missing
We’re not even searching
Don’t see the precipice
On which we are perching
Till it comes crashing down
And our ruin is effective
And we see all the ways
Our thinking’s defective
Then out of the ashes
We discover our purpose
That we had forgotten
Though once it had served us
And our eyes are now opened
And here the mind races
Finding love, truth and beauty
In unexpected places

Ah little angel
I shouldn’t have wiped your tears
I shouldn’t have held you tight
And carried you through your fears

They warned me this would happen
And the wounds would open deep
And sadness would come knocking again
And fresh new tears I’d weep

I came to say good-bye to you
And say I would be gone
But you found ways to keep me there
As the day wore on

And then each memory of our life
Pierced me to the bones
We lived the lie of what once was
When we were not alone

Ah light feather of flesh and lace
I should’ve let you go
But you called to say you needed me
And I just couldn’t say “no”

In the blizzard and coldest night
The warmth of friendship and candlelight
Melts the feelings frozen in time
Unleashes joy and song in rhyme
The thoughts, the love, compassion feeling
Sends strongest warmth, happiness reeling
The frost and cold lose their hold
When hearts grow tender and love grows bold
They say a storm is now descending
But all I see is hope ascending.

The warmth inside me smiles
As I greet the cashier
Her face lights up
Relaxes
Appreciates
As I say
How is your day going?

The happiness inside me smiles
And a fast food clerk
Smiles back
And laughs
As we joke together
About noisy office girls
Chattering over Christmas presents

The desire in me smiles
As the barista bends over
Her shirt unbuttoned below her apron
What would you like sir? she asks
An awkward silence, as if deciding
A grandé decaf I reply
Lying, with a smile

How irrational are my fears
Of losing love
Of being alone
When all around me
Are choices
Truth and beauty
New starts
And brighter
Tomorrows
The snow falls softly
On the darkened city
The streetlights twinkling
Like beacons
As I walk home
Thinking of warmth
Friendship
And connection
And God, who sees
And knows all
Works amid the pain
And the chaos
The tears and the sadness
Bringing healing
And lifting my spirit
At the most unexpected
moment
And causing my heart
To beat again