I am,
I will do,
however many times,
verily, I say to you,
that I am about to die

I am so close.
I can hear his breathing
Behind me when I walk
And I see his shadows behind me
Whenever I look.

However subverted I may seem,
Scythe marks replace footsteps
satirical monologue replace thoughts
Awkward uncertainty replace fate

I am no fool.

I am not ignorant

I just seem to know that
death is very close to me
And I am certain
Beyond all doubt
That there is no foreseeable future

This isn’t a monologue reading of my depression
I am not reciting verses to cure myself
Of these thoughts
in hopes that they will leave me

I’m simply here to express
My distaste for the living
How sweet those secret kisses I stole from death
when we shared the shadows

so in fact
I am not dying
I am falling in love
Which is just the same thing really