Imagine if a child is ignored every time fae speaks and is never allowed to finish a thought.
When fae shows faers true self to the world and then is told that fae is wrong.
When nothing fae says-when fae is finally allowed to speak-seems to be right do you really think fae will be inclined to speak?

When that child is taken from the only home fae knew and is brought to a new family-only to find this "mother" doesn't truly love them.
When fae finds out that living there brings this "mother" money.
When fae is taken from that home and placed in a new, when knowing that faers mom doesn't know how to take care of faer and daddy is gone, knowing fae is there as a last resort....knowing that her presence in this house is a burden on this new family.
Believing fae is unwanted and unloved, do you really think this child really knows how to express faers emotions?
Would you be surprised if fae closed faeself off, lost all desires, refused to let faeself appear needy or moody so that no one would think faer a burden?
Scared of being hurt, terrified of being abandoned. So all fae does is smile-even if inside faer's dying.

Now imagine if this child only ever saw faer parents fight-only ever heard them screaming...never truly saw love in any of faers homes. Do you think fae will really know love?
If fae only saw problems solved by violence then saw this violence hurt people.
When fae had no real teacher, with no one to guide her-learning only from disjointed experiences.
Imagine the world moves so fast around faer and fae can't change a thing, things passing by before the child has a chance to understand-leaving the child bumbling through life.
Just trying to get by.
Now this child, shaped by faer environment, not knowing anything else, is suddenly asked to change.
Fae is trying to change because faer nature tells faer fae must change to keep the Asker close, but it isn't that easy.

When old habits die hard and the child is pulled between two entities, arms sore and emotionally tired.
When the child has yet to catch up to faer peers and still has a lot of learning to do.
Hoping that the Asker will understand that fae has yet to find faer path.

When the child is still wandering, unchanging, pathless and the Asker is impatient, waiting, pushing.

The Asker never understood and couldn't wait for the child to find faer path.

When the child never changed and couldn't provide answers for the Asker.

The Asker asked one more question and decided to ask no more.

The child watched as the Asker walked away.

The asker and the child were both hurt, each their own pain. What hurt the Asker was that they believed the child didn't try.
Imagine the pain that plagued the child
                                                           ­         the Askers last words.    
The  Asker wanted to cure the child's habits like they were a disease or fix faer like fae was broken. Now the asker is gone-bringing us back to the beginning.

The child is left alone again confirming faer own fears.
That in the end, they will all leave-all but faer thoughts.
Now the child has yet to find a place to call home, someone to go to for comfort.
Can you entirely blame faer for how fae turned out?
Are you surprised that this child has become like this considering faer upbringing?

If this child smiles to get you to stay,
will you believe fae is truly happy,
or will you know that faer heart is breaking 
and fae feels like faers dying?

Would you realize
                               that behind faer smile,
                                                          ­           fae is really
                                                                ­                         crying?

good night little one,
you have been busy today,
good dreams little one,
you have laughed and played,
good rest little one,
you know you are loved,
the words you say
speak for themselves,
your laughter is so clean and clear
I want to hear you laugh some more,
read on with me until with your
own voice, you can make the sounds
and we then will rejoice together,
grow little one grow for you,
warrior princess fought an old
foe that needed to be vanquished,
and you soothed the savage beast
(grandpa(foe) and his dog(beast) )
rest for the evening after you have
partook at the supper feast,
for tomorrow,
you will have more growing to do, than today
you will understand the world one day sooner,
and we will
                   read,
                   and play ball,
                   oh I can't list them all,
                   we will build and drop towers right where they stand
and all will love you more,
as your hopes and dreams and possibilities
will wait out side your door,
discovery to your left
and awe to your right
cuteness factor ten,
lamp of learning
              burning bright.
Now shhhh, goodnight.


©DWE102013

I promise to be here for you always,
Because I love you, today and every day.
I promise to be your friend always,
Because I love you in every way.
I promise to care for you always,
Because I love you, that I can honestly say.
I promise I won't leave you, ever,
Because I love you, my friend, forever.
I promise I won't doubt you, ever,
Because I love you, my dear, forever.
I promise I won't stop loving you, ever,
Because I love you, my love, forever.
I promise I'll try to keep my promises for you,
Because I love you, I promise that I do.

She looks like a very lonely person,
Even though she is having a good time,
But deep inside she is a very sad person,
Though she tries to hide the sadness in her.

I saw someone today who reminded me of you

they were sitting with a girl

drinking tea

having fun

laughing

I got really sad

because that could have been you

and I realized that

for the past year

I found that I can't see me with anyone else

I tried

to flirt with attractive boys

but



I





just





didn't





feel





anything



no tingly happiness

just

nothing

but with you

your name pops up

on my screen

and

it's you

I just immerse

with happiness

maybe

I'm

obsessed

that's such an ugly word

sometimes I try and convince myself

that I don't have feelings for you

I'm just lonely

but it's not true

because sometimes it works

and then you laugh

and I realize it can't be true

i'm pretty good at lying to

myself

i practice all

the time

but then

then you come along again

and ******

i falter

and my porcelain strength shatters

i live a messy

messy life.

To everyone else who used it to seal a present,
It was nothing more than
A color to choose
A length to measure
A string to knot
It was something that held together a treasure
But to her, a ribbon was so much more

The triangular slit
She herself had cut at the edge
Of the soft pink ribbon,
Ended in corners,
The way her smile did
Everytime she'd
Loop and pull
Loop and pull

The bows she'd craft
Were more to her
Than just bunny ears and tails.
They were trinkets of triumph
Hints of hope
Possessions of passion

They reminded her of spring
Not the season
But spring
Of the trampoline
In her first gymnastics competition.
The ribbon hugged her ponytail
Delicate and dainty
The ribbon lay around her neck holding
Gold
Silver
Bronze
Ribbon nonetheless

They reminded her of balloons
Not the hot air type.
Balloons at carnivals
That floated
Miles away
Heights astray
If there was not ribbon
To secure it tight
On her fragile wrist

They reminded her of father.
Not that he wore ribbons or anything.
But that he left her with one
Wrapped around
A freshly picked
Bundle of flowers
Bundle of happiness
Bundle of unspoken words of affirmation

But flowers die

And so did father

When they did,
She was left with nothing but the ribbon
Loose and dirtied.
But the pinkness
Unlike flowers and father,
Barely faded away

And for the first time in a long time,
She saw life
In something that didn't have any.

It's five am
And I still remember
That night we stayed up
Asking each other questions
About shoe sizes
And those spaces in our hearts
And whether or not they were
Filled, empty or hurting

I can still remember all
Those times I hugged you
And I swear that even now
I've hugged you more than
Anyone else this year

It's five twenty
And I remember
Those hour long Skype calls
We would have even though
Both of us are silent
And never have much to say

I remember all those times
We'd argue about our opinions
And even though they were
So very different
Yours made me happy

And I can remember
All those times I felt sad
Yet you were able to make me
Feel so happy
Like all those hearts
You left in my mailbox

I remember that time
You tricked me into going home
With this panda bear
That will forever keep
Since you talked me into
Keeping him.

It's five twenty five
And I remember all those times
I looked forward to walking home
Cause you walked home with me
Even though it was cold

I remember
How I'd make you worry
And I'm very sorry for that
And I'm sorry that there were
Things I could never bring
Myself to tell you no matter
How hard I tried.
But I'm only so courageous
So I've always talked in
Questions and puzzles.

It's five thirty
And I remembered this
And so much more
And I will for a long time
Because you gave me so
So much to remember
You by.

I'll remember how you were
The first boy I ever let so
Close to my heart.
You were the first boy
I actually ever
Really let myself fall for
And no girl can ever
Forget that.

Especially a hopeless
Romantic
Like me.

Thank you for everything
You gave me to remember
You by.
I hope I at least gave you something
To remember me by