A tan makes you thinner.
A tan makes those curves seem firmer.
It'll disguise your stretch marks.
White is "pasty".
It's ok, you don't have to bake in the sun.

She looks down at her milky white skin,
Passed down through her mothers line.
A natural English rose.
All those years of battling the sun in her youth.
The only colour she got ranged from pink to searing red.

So a spray tan it is.
Now she has that "healthy glow".
In the mirror she sees all the tricks of the eye.
Now she looks how she's "supposed to".
She fits the shape of brown.

Her skin covered in the chemical concoction.
Does it look too fake?
She doesn't know, but that's ok
No one else knows either, this is the norm.
And she fits the shape of brown.

She looks at her stretch marks.
She used to be uncomfortable about them.
Her adult daughter liked them,
She called them shiny, silvery.  Now a light brown.
But she fits the shape of brown.

She fits into the shape
That society has molded her into.
She fits into society.
No longer that big white sore thumb.
She fits the shape of brown.

One size fit all?

What does your sorrow mean
when every woe is a divine celebration
of the great entirety of the story of "you"
                             ?

when every teardrop falls heavy
by the weight of your compassion.

when every tumultuous flaw you feel
within your being
is the greatest gift
you will
             or have
                      ever received.

and when every sacrifice was given freely
to the love you feel...
                                                     ...so wondrously
                               ...for life...

Stomachs fill
and bottles empty
and pictures are burned
along with bridges.

To be a second choice is not good.
To now you are a second choice
and being happy that you are a choice at all
is not good.

I came to her with a heavy heart
and a poem
and I asked her if she could hold me up
and for a moment she did
but falling to the floor
I realized her heart was heavy enough for her.

She sought refuge by sleeping with sleepy men
and by drinking although she was already drunk.
And now that her bed is unoccupied
and her stomach pumped and her heart not so heavy,
she wishes to help hold me up.

But I have realized that I don't need her help.
I don't need the help of someone who
wishes only to help those who can help her.

This grief
has teeth

my son
it bites through

skin and bone
tearing at heart

and mind
(the deeper

the love
the harder

the pain
I find)

this grief
with its pearly whites

gnaws at me
through dull days

and dark nights
trying to drag me

to dark depths
shaking me

like a dog with bone
bringing me

to deep hurts
and aching moan

this grief
holds hard

bites deep
taking me

to dark dawns
and black dogs

of sunset red
and echoing memories

in numb
and hurting head

this grief has teeth
my son

biting through
bone and skin

tearing me within
but memories remain

strong and clear
and bright

which will
sustain me

through many
a deep dark night.

There’s a certain way about humans
and how we always search for answers,

A cyclical pattern marks our every move
as we live and we die
with tranquility as a lofty goal,

But we can't help dissecting the tiny pieces,
the gears that grind against the grain;
We wonder why dad has to check and double check the lock,
why mom counts the seconds until the day is over,
why family conversations always happen in the car—

And that’s when complexity engulfs simplicity:

We quickly shed layers of blame,
like the scarf and the hat we toss to the wayside
as soon as the worst of the storm has passed,

Because we know better than most
that when it rains,
it pours,

And all we crave is stillness in the air.

It’s sad how we always argue
Over misunderstandings
Do you know why I got upset?
Because you left me wondering
Whether or not you wanted me around
That time you stopped talking to me
For no apparent reason
So I lashed out
I gave up
Even though I will never truly
Give up this fight
I went away
I thought you wanted it that way
Then I got sad
And upset because how I understood it
Was that you didn’t care
To speak to me
Or care that
I wasn’t around
I’m not perfect
Not as perfect as you
But I thought my love could be enough
I loved you with every fiber of my soul
And I always will
You can hate me
And think I’m horrible
You can regret me
And wish for my nonexistence
But I am happily in love with you
Even though you’re not happily in love with me
And thoughts of you in my mind
Never fail to make me smile
I think of all the good you are
And how much I enjoy every bit of it
I think back on the time
When we were happy with each other
And that’s how I plan on remembering you
Because the fights
And the exchange of mean words
Doesn’t reflect how we truly feel
At least for me
It just proves that we care

i get really sad
and somewhat heartbroken
when i think of all the things
that i don't know about you
i don't know where you go
or what you do
it may seem weird
that i would want to know
all of the little things
like what you eat
and when you go to bed
and what you do with your day
but i guess that's what love is
i'm interested in everything
that i could possibly know
it ***** that most of you
is kept so private
i would share anything with you
i guess you have to protect yourself
but i'll tell you right now
i'm not dangerous
and i love you enough
to where i would never
want to harm you
or use anything against you
no matter what
i wouldn't dare think of it
i just want to know you
thick and thin
through and through
i feel like i'm shown one person
and the rest of the world
the real world
is shown something else
i want to experience who you truly are
not just some part of you
or some held off
piece of you
i want all of you
i want to know everything you think
everything you say
and everything you do
i want you
one hundred percent
i want to know all the secrets
that you don't share with anyone else
i want to know all the different parts of you
the dark ones and deep ones
that only come out at night
the light and funny ones
that come out on a good day
the hard working and dedicated ones
that come out when you are focused
i want to see it all
because i love you
and to think i don't know all there is to know
rips me in two