Maybe the poison makes me feel better
I know you're the type who'll sit it out with me.
I remember distantly apologizing for not being able to keep your mind clear
But you said it wasn't my fault
it was.

I’m scared my light
Is much too bright
Am I scared of nothing?
Please tell me
Tell me
Tell me now
Am I afraid of myself?
Or you?

While I shine, it’s dark in here
I can’t see your face
And I can’t see you
Blind trust leads us, as we stumble through the dark
And I wouldn’t know if you’re wounded
You wouldn’t tell me
Tell me
Tell me then
Are you afraid of the drugs?
Or yourself?

If it was dark outside right now
I'd still be thinking of you.
The rain only strengthens the reinforcement of my tears
I know you'll be back
With the wind and snow
But what if he never came back?
I can't ask myself that question with a definite answer
Because when someone is half your universe
It's hard to imagine what it's like without him.

Haphazard motions
Following the lines, shapes, in my head
In my head there is always an image of you.
Sometimes I see your face, sometimes I see a running boy
Sometimes I see darkness and remember the sensation of arms around me
And in my hair
Like I was important
Lies.
You're important, not me. It shouldn't matter what happens to a monster.
I love you too much to let you hurt.

If it was sunshiny outside right now
I'd probably cry thinking of your eyes
And the pain, the anger, the brilliance, the darkness, the elegant defeat.
Hidden in one little boy.
If I lost you, I'd lose it. Not only that, but I would lose half my heart too
Because I did invest it in your cause and someone will pay if I regret that.
Don't dream standing. The time for action is now. If your back's against the wall
Find a way out and run. That's the way people like me do things.
Running isn't cowardice, running is an art. Running away is ideal.

I remember things like the dark purple beneath your eyes and the strange lines on your nose
But they aren't terrible to me.
They give you breath, a life, a soul. They gave you everything I couldn't.
And I'm sorry.
I should've asked more questions. I should've been there, I really should've!
And now I feel the need to protect you and everyone from me, the horrible monster
Who ruins everyone's life going around giving false promises, feeding people power and disappointment
I'm sorry.

A memory falls past the point of time.
It is now timeless, priceless, random, fleeting,
Sometimes faceless, walking slow,
Sometimes, at a sprint, transporting me into different worlds,
Clouds colors of green, purples, blues.
Sometimes the memory just looks into my eyes
And all of a sudden I fill to the brim with tears
That the wind blows from my eyes.
Not gravity.
Just one memory can bring a lot of pain.
A black path, orange forest behind
I am angry but filled with happiness
And I do chase, I chase the memory,
Squeals and runs too.
He's fast.
But not as fast as me.
A memory slips down the abyss that a few days can bring
to a highly dependent mind.
She smiles
She cries
With tears
In green eyes.
Memories will be the ruin of all sanity,
God so help me and my mind.

I thought you had stopped.

Honest to god, I thought you had.

And it wouldn’t be bad if you didn’t

But I do just wish you would tell me

Because the blame that rises in my chest

Doesn’t fall on you

And you have no reason to fear that.

I blame myself.

I don’t allow you to speak and I need to shut up about my problems

F* my problems

Yours are more important

So from here on out, I promise

I HAVE NONE.

I thought you would stop.

Honest to God, I thought you

Would

Stop.

And it’s ok that you’re still doing this

I’m impartial to your flaws

But not your problems.

No.

Something you find so beautiful, so dear,
Something you care for so deeply
Needs your help.

It feels ill, gliding around a once strong body.
A strong host is required to maintain the happiness
And the host is weakening
Slowly dying
She needs you.

She's tired. She waits and waits for you.
She's waited this whole time for you.
Youve complicated things further.
But hell if she didn't too.

And as the sun sets over the west coast

She falls into a deep sleep
From which she'll never wake up

I'm tired
Of life
Of silence
Of people
Of disappointment
Sadness
Pain
And scars