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401 · Oct 2013
Yesterday, I Found You.
Claire Ellen Oct 2013
How come my words never seem vast enough,
to simply tell how my life can uff and puff,
things in life, they are so simple,
and yet I still seem to just pedel,
on by and never look back. But then when I do,
I always regret this feeling of horrible left over dew.
399 · Mar 2016
Cre-Ate.
Claire Ellen Mar 2016
To cause something new to exist using imagination and talent
Created in the womb, I can to create.
Here in my world I'm hanging pictures,
I'm settling in.
Much like windy roller coasters:
   Theres ups and downs.
The ups give us a view of joy.
The downs prepare us for futures.
I want to make my future a dream-
A dream of truth and bliss
when was the last time you really felt?
Reality taunts us saying,
"theres only so much to create, for whats beyond
living the depths of the ocean?"
Test your mind to stretch and bend
        to go beyond creating
               and into completeness.
390 · Feb 2013
Good Night, Moon.
Claire Ellen Feb 2013
I tried so hard,
to get you back up,
the world needed someone,
who could show them,
the happiness I knew only you had.
I opened you up
one day at a time;
so you could see
how happy the world can be.
But I didn't know
you would just up and go,
go out on your own,
oh, how I should have known.
You weren't on your own.
Simply with some one new,
Now after the fact, everything I do,
seems so fake and old.
These sad thoughts
pour out of me like time bombs,
give me no time to run
and explode with YOU in my face.
With my tears
wiped with my fingers,
I draw unknown designs,
along my pillow case,
Instead I wish you were here,
to wipe them away for me.
Wait... If you were here,
In the first place
I wouldn't be crying.
384 · Aug 2013
Look Down.
Claire Ellen Aug 2013
Carve my heart, into yours.
The lights the sounds, the music
Sweeps me off my too high heels.
The Church sees the "X" on my hand,
They see my Tattoos and Scars.
They see me for me,
cracked, but not yet broken.
Next time don't judge,
Help.
382 · Oct 2013
John.
Claire Ellen Oct 2013
Uh-oh... A change.
More than painting a wall
Or hanging new pictures in a hall.
More than new curtains,
Or moving to new lands.
This change is the scariest of all,
And it starts with a huge fall
And it comes from within.
It starts in the mind,
And then it intertwines and confines,
Down to where everything should start,
The Heart.
This change has to do with love,
And it normally doesn't "fit like a glove".
Its a change of lifestyle and words,
It keeps no records.
This change is all inclusive,
It changes the use of,
Your actions.
I'm nervous for the outcome,
I'm into deep to outrun,
Gods love.
376 · Apr 2013
Poem from a Desk 1.
Claire Ellen Apr 2013
I dont want to hear,
the words;
songs. Your voice speaking through them.
I'm trying to forget,
I'm trying not to care,
Getting, going, away.
Driving my wheels fall off
with or with out you,
my heart is,
                                                Heavy and
into DEEP.
373 · Mar 2016
Last Night.
Claire Ellen Mar 2016
I'm nothing. I will forever be nothing.
How could He?
Why would He send me here to feel doubt and lack of self worth?
I have no purpose, I have no emotion.
Just raw me.
Just skin, salt-water and tears.
Just a stumpy body with no brain
trying to prove something to someone who's not even paying attention.
Self worth out the window- starting from scratch.
How would I like my life to go?
That idea- its far away out of reach
where I cannot grasp it.
I'm not tall enough or smart enough
I'm not good enough;
I'll never reach the moon or fall among the stars,
I'm just falling constantly falling and failing
everyone around me...
Everyone knows I'm not good enough,
but they don't want to say it.
I've disappointed, let down, and lost loves
Don't pay attention to this small breeze blowing by
I am but a mist.
369 · Mar 2015
Withdrawling.
Claire Ellen Mar 2015
Internally seeking.
Outwardly reaching.
No lifeboats in sight.
Both ways have no view.
Slowly retreating to myself,
Feeling confined with no help.
Stop time, and tell,
no bad endings, end well.
Lose you to yourself,
or lose you to hell.
My breath is quickening.
368 · Apr 2013
Wade or Wait?
Claire Ellen Apr 2013
Oh no,
how I shamefully fell.
Just this weekend,
I have become more than, "friend"
this weekend, I fell
I came out of my shell,
I started to like you,
it grew and grew.
I didn't say anything to you,
not sure if...
well, I'm just not sure of you.
my trust has been weakened,
from the men before burdened.
Baby it wasn't you,
baby it was me,
I faulted right at the knee.
367 · Apr 2013
Coffee at Midnight
Claire Ellen Apr 2013
I hate emotion,
It drives me wild.
Like getting an abortion,
you broke me like a small child.
I love the down trodden,
the make the help worth it.
362 · Mar 2016
Cheyenne.
Claire Ellen Mar 2016
After I hung my lights,
moved in my stuff.
Hung the curtains
got the wifi
paid the bills....
I realized, when a self conscious,
unknowingly young,
bored with no hobbies
no connections girl
moves into a unknown place,
she must make the best of it.
Once you let a tiny
little, run down,
oil field, train stop
country town
get you down,
theres no coming back.
If this town doesn't teach me anything
I truly can't learn.
355 · Mar 2013
Fog.
Claire Ellen Mar 2013
Mystery of my past,
why to you stay on me like a cast?
Mystery of my future,
I try at you like a shooter
in the fog.
Mystery of my present,
I wonder if I will resent-
What I do now,
and they way of how-
I do things,
will haunt my future,
good or bad.
355 · Mar 2016
Claire Bare.
Claire Ellen Mar 2016
As I lay open, wanting and flushed
my skin crawls with hot heavy feelings
I am open and wet and ready
   My mind is open and imaginative
I am wanting to fulfill this drive inside
  My body curling at every wanted touch
I am flushed writing rawly
My body and cheeks flush at deep thoughts
Feeling this way feels good
and I know it can feel better...
but I decide to leave that life long ago
Every now and again though, it calls me
and I fall to my own deep dark desires.
Wet and sensitive I feel the known path through the dark.
354 · Mar 2014
All Ages Welcome.
Claire Ellen Mar 2014
What if hell is really empty
all of the devils are here.
When the first one died,
I didnt understand.
When the second one died,
I drew a heart, surrounded in black,
I drew my heart surrounded by confusion.
Harrison Brown.
When the third one died,
I was completely silent for a week,
No sensation entered my nerves.
Grandma Gower.
When the fourth one died,
I missed the funeral,
I made a shirt in memory
and felt cheap as ever.
Tanner Arnett.
When the fifth one passed,
I was broken and couldnt understand
I wrote and carved and drew...
but it amounted to nothing.
Antonio Franco.
Ah, I lost count by now,
But when she passed
I questioned all I had,
I questioned all I knew.
Grandma Kull.
347 · Apr 2015
Charcol of Grey.
Claire Ellen Apr 2015
Roller coasters and rovers, what my mind has been through,
ways and thinking of getting back in the groove,
Unbroken, and Fifty-leading me by,
work and school meddling my mind.  
Soon I'll be a millionaire.
Soon I'll be without a care.
Moved out and far away, the world drifting aside,
I cant wait! to get out and not hide!
Roller coasters and rovers all my mind
focused and braced for what I might find.
A lover by my side, in my bed.
Tangeled in sheets, tangled in my heart,
feeding something that once seemed dead.
Now rising and taking possesion of my heart.
Fear is the mind killer, so run!
Run and clothed with strength and dignity,
A thousand suns will rise and set,
but until then, I will not fret.
I laugh without fear of the future,
I cry without the fear of loss,
and I have peace with out war on my mind,
Spilling filling, renewing refreshing,
Each line, filled with peace.
341 · Feb 2013
Today.
Claire Ellen Feb 2013
I have seen death,
and fear.
I have seen new life,
and joy.
I have seen the results,
and abortion.
I have looked death in the face,
and my God was stronger.
I have seen an old life become new,
and a new life ruined.
I have seen marriage,
and divorce.
I have seen runaways,
and old friends.
I have seen many things,
Right and some wrong.
But they shaped who I am,
and today, I will see more.
In remembrance of Harrison Brown, and Antonio Franco
339 · Jan 2013
Risk
Claire Ellen Jan 2013
The ground is far away
Standing on this ledge
Up here.
If I jump will you catch me?
If I jump will I fall??
I dive down and take the plunge
The ball now in your hands
Its completely your call.
Do you want to keep...
Or would you rather fall?
fall down with me, and
Forget. Don't look back.
339 · Feb 2013
My Prayers Turn Too...
Claire Ellen Feb 2013
Last night I cried,
I cry, cry, for 3 hours.
Last night I tried,
I try, try, to tell the truth.
But, I could only lie,
I lied, lied, because even I,
couldn't face the truth.
The snow, it falls,
It fell, fell, and I thought,
God gave me this heart to love,
To love, love, him.
Next to return and I gave,
To give, give, this love
to the world.
The turning of the tide,
My tides, tides, are coming fast,
and I can finally lift my heavy,
These heavy, heavy, ribs
and my heart is beaten,
No... beating, beating, light red blood.
My lungs have more breath,
To breathe, breathe, from your lips,
sometimes my air is short,
but you fill me with more,
more, more, joy, love, and peace,
the way I've shown,
And show, show, my love
is being positively
overwhelmed with life,
live, live, life goes on.
330 · Mar 2016
Today.
Claire Ellen Mar 2016
The air is gone
The motivation is gone
The courage is gone
The want is gone
The happiness is gone
I've been stripped of everything valuble
even the tears are gone.
And I can't go on..
I'm not good enough
  Smart enough
  Or wanted enough.
I can't create or learn.
I have no beauty or power.
I have no skills.
My body is just a body that no longer has air.
I can't hold a steady happy relationship
I dont do well in school,
I have no artist in me trying to paint her way out.
I'm alone in a world I built,
and the world I'm building, it doesn't even fit.
Take my items, take my love, take my all,
but you'll wind up with nothing.
Because I don't have anything.
330 · Jun 2016
Gone Country.
Claire Ellen Jun 2016
Kisses tasting like jerky,
summers feeling like country.
Music turned up, your hand on my leg,
I know I'm getting myself into a good time.
I can't tell if we are dancing or kissing
when you spin me round and round this fishing hole.
Straight from Georgia, Straight from Colorado,
we meet in this crazy Wyoming world.
You've saved me from so many reminiscent lonely nights.
I've gone country,
from my cowboy boots,
to my hard Cash roots.
329 · Mar 2016
Trevor.
Claire Ellen Mar 2016
I just want to know
Do you still want to marry me?
Do you still want me to move with you?
Do you want me to change my last name?
Because, I will.
Do you want me in a deep way?
Do you want me how I want you?
When you see me smile
Does it make you smile and break your heart?
I want to know,
How come I made past decisions?
How come you didn't chase me?
Did you? Why didn't I see it?
Do you still want to chase me?
Are you?
Trevor, please, I just want to know...
        Marry me?
325 · Jan 2017
Tarzan.
Claire Ellen Jan 2017
There is something so primal about our naked skin,
touching, rubbing, skimming, soaking, together.
You are wonderful to behold and intimate to the touch.
Our bodies awaken, in an unspoken deep way,
and soon become one.
Never will I stop believing that you will fight for me,
and never will I stop believing you'll make it to me.
You're my Tarzan, your my hunter and you're 100% all man.
As if I were Jane:
You long for adventure,
as I do.
Instead of adventure "out there" we
    explore each others bodies as wildernesses of their own;
    follow instinct to each others hearts,
    and chase at the outdoors with our souls touching-
yet searching for more in each other.
I will always be brave and driven;
    No damsel in distress.
But a damsel wanting to be seen and sought...
Fight for me?
While I fight right next to you, for you.
You are mind and earths to hunt.
Chasing, hunting, fighting, for, with and toward one another,
is the feeling that lets me know you're meant for me.
324 · Mar 2016
Twinkle.
Claire Ellen Mar 2016
Call me brave, call me brave.
These city lights will see me
no matter my outcome.
My past lovers will still be past.
History will still repeat itself,
    God will still show himself.
How can I identify,
    When I can't even simplify
my own thoughts into continuity.
Why do I still here your laugh and cry,
    When I don't want to remember
Our old warm fall nights.
When I do free myself most,
    When I am alone and deep,
in my thoughts and intune with my body.
So often my nights rest and restlessness
go hand in hand.
So often in my days confused and anxiety
go hand in hand.
But luckily hand in hand with you means bravery.
323 · Mar 2017
Body
Claire Ellen Mar 2017
All that has come from my body,
all that this body has made,
is waste.
It makes look and tissue that sluf off.
It makes **** thats pushed out,
and it makes *** thats squeezed out.
On the occasional night of to much drinking,
maybe ***** that is forced from the stomach.
This body has had no accomplishments,
no miracles.
This body was created to create,
but has not yet found its purpose.
Claire Ellen Mar 2017
My body is warmed from the shower,
everything is clean, my outside looks normal.
But as the water soaks into my skin
every droplet like an old memory
drying me up.
My insides are hurting
they are sagging and depressed.
"I want to be a mother," I whisper in my deepest being.
"I'm not even trying." my surface level responds.
"What if I can't?", my soul and heart cry in unison.
320 · Aug 2016
Description.
Claire Ellen Aug 2016
I am a Chaco hiker
Country listener
Colorado native
who paints.
I am a careless experimenter
Reader of books
Wyoming liver
who loves to love.
I am a sleepless lover
Wake up early riser
Coffee drinker
who breathes.
319 · Aug 2014
Taken.
Claire Ellen Aug 2014
I miss who I was sometimes.
I miss my nose ring,
my faith,
my continuous laughter,
my flaws being qualities,
my love for other people,
my freedom.
sometimes I miss who I was,
I miss writing,
I miss reading,
I miss.
317 · Feb 2013
3182
Claire Ellen Feb 2013
Who are you?
Boy of my dreams could it be?
We weave moments that make an invisible future.
The hands on the clock freeze
when I'm with you
you describe the great that I need.
So perfectly,
Together. And then another girl you see
Forever and Always fades away
Days we had, now a mangled cobweb of dreams.
Ever since that day,
you lead me right to dismay
thought we were a team,
You take my heart to the limit
why do I stay?
316 · Apr 2013
Poem from a Desk 2.
Claire Ellen Apr 2013
My muscles feel like the are,
draped over my bones.
So slow and not willing to work.
People don't seem to notice,
because my face is painted on,
morning, and removed at night.
So raw when nothing is covering
the scars people have made.
on MY body.
315 · Jun 2016
My Man.
Claire Ellen Jun 2016
Must be a leader, a go getter, a finisher,
must have wifi...
Enjoy coffee and tea
   more or as much as me!
The outdoors, adventure and explorative nature
    are mandatory.
Never curses or calls me names.
Must be fatherly material, with a wild side of child.
Must love God and Jesus.
Also have 3 passions besides me.
My future man shall support me and his dreams.
I'm really not asking for much, the "musts"
are top of the list!
The last wasn't all bad,
but
this list was created from his mistakes.
308 · Jan 2013
A shadow in the flames
Claire Ellen Jan 2013
A shadow in the flames
your all i see,
creep up
right behind me.
Shun the fear
go for the gold
my wings are flying
taking me upwards
i can see
all around me
is you.
304 · Dec 2015
Odeza.
Claire Ellen Dec 2015
How did I get there??
These words used to flow,
used to put, straight from my soul.
Now my heart is empty,
my flesh is angry,
and my soul, oh my soul, is so weak,
and so must be the words I speack.
Torrential down pour of fear,
when I see your name appear,
Upon a screen, call----Ingored.
My words have become weak,
I can hardly even do a few lines.
Is it you? or is it mea,
Holding back so I can't see.
The world is so open and I want to go.
But, I am being held back.
I hold on, and so do you.
But what if we're holding on to different things?
And this love is not as it all seems.
Falling and breaking apart at the seams,
How could you have possibly meant
what you said?
Dissapointment, immature, not wise,
these are the things your saying to me.
I don't think that they are entirely true,
but what can I do?
Today is new,
and you'll want nothing to do
with last nights call.
But if it was you,
Standing here in my shoes,
What would you say?
You don't want to stay? and just go work.
Everyone needs a break.
Everyone needs some space
To breath, to look back and see
just what their words might be,
to some one open, and vulnerable
Often knives come at me from your mouth,
I've learned to deflect them all.
But now it is my turn
to let you know how it feels when
all of you fails.
304 · May 2015
Closer to Two.
Claire Ellen May 2015
As I sip down this wine
to calm my nerves insides,
its amazing you can't smell whats in front of you.
I want a double life,
one on the side, and one to hide.
People come and people go.
But you,
   You I hold onto.
I held on in high school.
I held on 5 hours away.
I've held on during the "your stupid"s
and the "its over"s.
I've held onto you.
And you've held on too.
To my puppet strings connected to my hear.
You say its all in the mind.
Well I am about to show you,
What I've held onto up here.
304 · Mar 2015
Fighter for a Cause.
Claire Ellen Mar 2015
So my knight,
if you are ready for the fight,
Kneel and look up to me
as I bestow my love.
You are sir of my thoughts
running them around on your horse,
You are kind of my eyes,
for who else can behold?
You are Duke of my lungs,
stealing each breath away.
But dont forget!
Most important of all!
Knight of my heart
Knight of my life.
My knight in shinning armor.
Climb off your high horse,
to kiss this little bird hello,
and I will devote each kiss
with a purpose, none for show!
Each kiss will be,
for love of my life, eternity
Each kiss laid on your skin
for passion.
Each kiss to pass by and by
for prof the only flight
in my heart is from your
delight.
302 · Mar 2013
Right It Leaves Every Year.
Claire Ellen Mar 2013
dress nice,
dance *****.
please whisper,
that you love me.
I only know,
is that you don't
ever show,
your true self.  
you sleep on a mattress
on the floor.
And never answer
the questions i ask.
to be honest,
i get nervous
when you smile.
mystery,
unravel
yourself.
300 · Mar 2016
Own it.
Claire Ellen Mar 2016
You's ma boo, you are my love,
My bae, my babe, my baby,
You are my sweet sweet honey,
You're my rock, You are my number one hugger,
You're my giver too, and my supporter of,
You are whatever you want to call yourself,
Above all, your mine.
294 · Mar 2016
Someones Harvest.
Claire Ellen Mar 2016
I want to be someones Autumn.
Full of color and chill
warm days to heal.
Crisp in the morning, cool at night.
I want to be someones most beautiful.
Someones picture-full.
I want to be someones lost innocence.
Flawless as a freshly fallen leaf.
I want to be someones warm memory
I want to feel the fall,
         again.
293 · Jan 2013
Time, Baby.
Claire Ellen Jan 2013
I dont want last time,
To be the last time.
Each time i spend with you,
******* comes to mind.
More and more time,
I cant seem to stop.
Its like an old book shop,
Every time is like the first time.
Smells and feels,
Leaves me falling over my heels.
Hearts heal, time heals hearts,
You can take mine just don't tear it apart.
292 · Mar 2014
Around the Corner.
Claire Ellen Mar 2014
You pressed up against the glass,
staring at me from across the room.
and to think you are now seeing me naked.
you hit me like a wave,
and knocked me onto your bed,
knowing your next move already,
and predicting mine, but never being right.
I and You always have the element of surprise.
Foggy hot breath on your shoulder,
and strong big hands on my back.
This is a part of love I never knew of,
till you laid me down in the grass field of
vast discovering.
The power of one is many,
and the power of two is flaming.
lay me down in sheets of black
and never take me back.
Getting lost in this love
that people thought you could never achieve.
Do it with me,
discover my body and I will discover your mind.
Uncover my love, and I will uncover your secrets.
Too close for comfort?
Or way to comfortable to leave?
late summer nights and late winter days,
snow, rain, and fights,
we always make it right.
Rings, jackets, and car drives,
we can make it anywhere.
Your body on my body or contrary,
we always make it to the top.
Better lovers than A and Z.
I cant stop with the loving you,
drinking or feeding
taking or giving both are in mind
when my addictive habits towards you
take control and I no long realize
that I am slowly consuming every part of you,
and you of me.
Not in a "controlling" or "red flag" way,
but more of a "we were meant to be,
so why be apart"? kind of way.
No using or forgetting birthdays,
this is as real as it gets.
and no one is getting in my way of you.
and no one is is my line of view
future is coming fast too,
so what do you want to do?
California with hot beach and love?
Colorado with high mountains and secret cabins?
or On the road with motels and night in the stars?
This poem is about your skin and my skin touching,
and everything it makes me feel and think.
I am giving you my all,
and I can tell you are giving too.
Be happy with what you have,
Savor me in the day,
and make me in the night,
Hold me tight till the sunset,
and feel the want at sunrise.
We have this element,
lets put it to use,
and never come out of our bunny rabbit hole.
I have been cursed with my blindness.
292 · Mar 2013
What Else Is There?
Claire Ellen Mar 2013
you were always so good,
at writing books,
so good that you would
write stories that shook
me right to tears.
You knew how too,
use just the right words
twist, distort, and skew
my thoughts in to overgrown woods
you could write another book,
how to offend a girl,
in 5 syllables or less.
291 · Jun 2016
Casa de la Esperanza.
Claire Ellen Jun 2016
One Sunday I was praying that I wasn't pregnant;
The next I was saying goodbye to orphan kids,
   praying to help me change.
Now, to guilty to pick up a Bible,
To guilty to pray a prayer,
I am asking that I am not pregnant again.
This world will toss and turn you,
it will hurt and bruise you.
I have learned the only refuge is God,
The only forgiveness that is pure is Jesus' blood,
and the only way to talk to them sometimes is through the holy spirit groans.
I loved who I was, I love who I have become.
But the guilt inside from the past few months...
its eating me alive.
I don't want to be worried about pregnancy from randoms;
Nor do I want to waste my time thinking of guys anymore;
I'm done with the outfit of a really fun girl,
its time to grow up,
its time to move on.
I know what I want in life, I just need to strive.
I know who I want in life, I just need to stop messing around.
When you travel to a place that changes your life,
it first changes your skin:
   You get tan and work hard, you learn what it is to want for food, and long for God.
It then changes your muscles:
     You grow a little tougher when the boy was taken from your arms and given back to his abusive father.
It sinks into your bones:
   You start to realize the life you are living is worth nothing if you don't start to change something.
Then it creeps, slowly to your heart:
    You feel guilty and half of you wants to change, but your brain is still stuck on the "fun" you are having.
Life is simple, love and be loved,
but honey, when you live the life I live,
Love takes on a new meaning, its tougher than what you'd think.
Its more complicated than the four letters that make it up.
But, its still here, waiting for me to open my ribs, and absorb it all.
290 · Mar 2015
Punch.
Claire Ellen Mar 2015
In the kindest way...
I just want to shake you!
And knock what I am saying into your head
... out of love.
I just want to grab you!
And slap my emotions onto your heart,
I love you too.
I want the best for us too.
So how come when I correct you,
It s all fighting and my fault?
But you correct me, I am at fault.
I want my heart and my brain
to feel your love.
Not just my ****.
Is that to much to ask?
I love you too.
Just listen to these words,
Please.
Respect and communication is all I want.
No bows, or diamonds, just us.
Just you. Just your whole heart.
In my hands
: All said out of love.
289 · Mar 2016
Feeling like Tiger Lilly
Claire Ellen Mar 2016
Do you think its true?
The more you open your stiff rib joints,
and the more you expand your cranial sutures,
the more you art?
Anatomy: the study of human art made by GOD.
All I see are colors:
   Yellow for fall and mellow happiness
   Red for desire and flames lit deep.
   Blue for my tender and sweet.
Messy living coupled with coffee,
count me in.
Hair curled with naked back and love?
count him in.
Art in the air of fall, filling the fortress, darling.
Painting, I must expell these ideas in more than just writing.
Art- 3 letters coupled with power to change the world.
Count my hands in.
288 · Feb 2014
January Blues.
Claire Ellen Feb 2014
Here,
Here in the basement of my own
sorrows and pities,
I find no comfort from you.
You,
You say this is my fault; I havent
changed and loved.
Notice,
Notice that your the reason I'm here,
struggling and worthlessly waiting,
for your approval.
286 · May 2017
Vows II.
Claire Ellen May 2017
Wild. Our love is wild at heart.
Your passion inspires my happiness,
and my happiness seeks to find you.
Your adventurous spirit guides my wild soul into an oblivion we call our own.
You found me while I was unprepared and unready;
soon to find that you would prepare me to be ready for sparking moments.
I fell into you needing to be caught;
soon to find you swept me off my feet.
Our love is completely indescribable to some,
but to others, like the ones here today, they know.
They can see the love that shines from my eyes and comes from your heart.
They can sense an area of untouched happiness that both of us explore more with each other.
We will hold and we will cherish;
but we will also live fully letting the other grow and become better.
You light the fire under my wild soul, so I can fan the flame of your adventurous spirit,
and we fall into the grasp of each others waiting and ready-for-anything- arms.
Wild. Your love is wild at heart.
Her passion inspires his happiness,
and his happiness seeks to find her.
His adventurous spirit guides her wild soul into an oblivion they can call home.
He found her unprepared and unready;
soon to find that he was preparing her to be ready for sparking moments.
She fell into him needing to be caught;
soon to find she was swept off her feet.
Your love is completely indescribable to some,
but to other, like the ones here today, we know.
We can see the love that shines from her eyes and into his heart.
We can sense an area of untouched happiness that both of them explore together.
They will hold and they will cherish;
but they also love fully letting the other grow and become better.
As he lights the fire under her wild soul, she can fan the flame of his adventurous spirit,
they can freely fall into the grasp of each others waiting and ready-for-anything- arms.
286 · Mar 2016
The Passion.
Claire Ellen Mar 2016
Last night was a wild night.
I went our with a friend.
I didn't hav to worry about texting,
   or fighting,
       or doing anything wrong.
There was no pressure,
    just myself.
And, I missed it. I missed being me...
All I do is worry,
  about other peoples perceptions
  about making you happy
  about not making any mistakes,
  about being in a relationship.
Last night I realized two things:
   I'm so half-half in all things of life.
   I also miss being kissed passionately.
Kissing with grabbing and hands
and lower back, hand on skin.
and tops off and hands working buttons,
and mouths searching, with fingers fliting.
real passionate kisses.
Moving down necks, moving up legs.
And today I realized:
   I don't want that with them,
   I want it with you.
Whoever you might be.
Overall, last night was truly
   an affair to remember.
285 · Jan 2017
Peaches.
Claire Ellen Jan 2017
Absolute completeness with you.
I find myself questioning how you found me...
My heart buried deep in shame and sorrow,
you pulled me up and bruised me off.
You said, "you don't have to think like that".
Calloused soft hands yearned me towards you.
You said, "I know that I love you".
A large bound towards my now known future.
Full satisfaction with you.
Your heart moves mine,
dancing across a spotlight stage,
no bumps or trips, to tricks or hidden secretes.
Everytime I lay down with you
my heart sinks into trust and is covered in your love.
You said, "You're all I need".
My thoughts continually turn to rich, wet, dark memories.
Your whole being lures me into a love that you make with me.
Body on body, heart on heart,
our own rhythm creates new ripples in this love lake.
You support, emphasize, stir up, undo, strip down, weaken, strengthen, cherish, all of me.
You accept the good, bad and ugly.
I will never understand how vast your love is,
but I will spend the rest of my time
finding you.
284 · Jun 2016
Military Man.
Claire Ellen Jun 2016
What are you doing? What am I doing?
My mind on repeat, sometimes giddy with joy or full of disappointment.
"I'm sleeping with a southern",
or "I'm going out just for one drink", I respond.
No excuses besides, "I just turned 21! Its fun!"
I often lie awake thinking of someone else
... He's far off in Montana.
He's forgotten about me.
My life style right now is not what I'm used too,
but everything I expected.
Slowly, I take hold of the realization that,
I don't miss my last love, because I've missed being me.
I'm gripping toward an old self I lost with him.
and quickly I find, my youth, my full spirit,
and mostly my inner wild.
Adventure is out there, go! Seize it!
My heart pounds loudly, so loudly
I can't tell if I've skipped some beats or not.
My content-ness and comfortability is long gone,
but my wonder is in full restore.
281 · May 2014
Mitty.
Claire Ellen May 2014
Natural beauty doesnt attract attention.
I am out on this marvelous adventure,
and so often I narrow that down,
to work and ***.
This adventure where,
in the same moment I am in,
so are people hiking up Everest.
But the money,
But requesting off work.
Is there really any good time to go,
to go and run?
But the sights,
But the experience,
Is there really any better reason?
The time is now,
and one more day here,
is
not
going
to
do
it
for
me. Hello, barren new world,
Let me be the one to scatter your seeds,
and make you wonderful.
The life is so full,
Why no drink from it.
The life is so vast,
Why not start now.
The life is motivational,
Why not lead.
Here I come, and
starting tonight, I am planning my next biggest adventure.
Tomorrow.
280 · Jun 2016
Single.
Claire Ellen Jun 2016
Single... a breath after 3 years.
My whole being says, "Come on old ****, lets have fun!"
but my control says, "No! lets rest..."
No one to impress, no one to text.
No one to worry over, no one to pick a fight with.
No one to watch my every move,
No one control.
I'm single and my wings are streatching.
It hurts and I'm scared to fly again.
Surely its like riding a bike?
I remember the feeling of having pure fun
No joy to hide.
Just me, myself and I.
even in the dark of night
I have an inner fire that rages.
Even at the break of day
I have a subtle but lifting smile.
My spirit is high and ready for take off.
My body is urging every cell forward.
And my mind, steady yet lit.
Yearning to learn, laugh, and adventure.
My new single life begins, here.
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