I
think
I lost you
somewhere
between your
mouth

and

your



                                            

                                          heart.

stained lips, cold eyes
some friends don't mix
but I do wish they did
maybe the world
would be nice
instead of mean
but society is a *****
and we pay the price
for all of our flaws
we **** up
we're humans
it's been that way
since God started preaching

I know I am a mess
not the greatest
not the best
but my heart
it has a beat
you can hear it
when you sleep
with your head
against my chest

you write of love
and
i write of sadness

two worlds i hope can collide

*i want your love to bury this sadness

i'm so ******* sick of this
i want to give up
i want to slash at my skin
i want to blow my brains out and have you watch
i want to hang myself from the ******* front door
i want to lay in a bath of bleach
and scrub away with kitchen scissors
i want to bang my head over and over in the mirror
let the shards tear away at my face and **** me up
and throw myself off the stairs
and snap my ******* neck in two
i want to swallow all the ******* pills in the cabinet
and
rip out my hair
i want to slice my thighs and create a map
maybe then you'll find me
help
i'm a ******* disease and i'm beginning to consume my health
where the **** has my sanity gone
these thoughts are running rampant in my mind
and i can't ******* shut them up
SHUT THE **** UP!
LEAVE ME THE **** ALONE!
GET THE **** AWAY!
i'm sick of myself and
i
just
want to
*******
give up

my journal is two
inches thick with
words about your
eyes and I wonder
if you love me
that much.

I've forgotten how to write
a poem that isn't about the
way your hands feel on my
waist, or the shiver I get
just thinking about you
breathing and whispering into
my ear until your words
turned into my dreams, or
the way I think I hear "forever"
beneath all your sentences.
My god, you have torn out
everything I used to have
inside me and kissed it until
all the missing pieces started
to grow back, sewed the gashes
that spelled "UNWORTHY"
on my heart. You are the most
beautiful thing I have ever had
the opportunity to call mine.