I lusted today.
It was that deep, down urge.
I stretched and moaned
Without even thinking.
It felt good to think it.
I wanted it hard enough
And got reprimanded for it.
That harsh ‘don’t do that’
Was spoken quickly in my ear.
I couldn’t help it.
I knew it’d feel good.
Inadvertent as the groan was,
It still felt good.
I knew he wanted it too.
He just couldn’t right then
And it made me want it even more.

©cc122612

I fell a little more today
The kind that involves lust, love,
And all the luscious “L” words.
I pushed my heart out there
It sang of heartache and bad times
It spoke of hope and need
Greedy heart that it is
It wants it all
The tensed up slip of desire
The loose feeling of caring
It’s a rough game
The game of love and lust
It breaks some in two and binds others for life.
I play it all the same
I wish to fall a little more tomorrow too.

©cindrac090612

I speak of being lost often
It’s a feeling that invades me
Without anticipatory thought
Going to bed alone tonight undid me
I thought of my smoke stained hair
I realized that I didn’t smell normal
Without a pause the thought changed
There is no one to tell me I smell good
No quick lean in to inhale
No passing smile from the scent
Warm skin is just warm
No one is there to breathe in who I am
Of all the things to devastate me
The thought of never having anyone
Sneak a breath of me turned my heart
A teary moment is only delayed
For the length of a shower

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Wastelands of dry parched nothingness
Forced pursuit of pale mirages filled with life
Wavering brinks of relief in the scorching heat
Washed away life of golden liquid
Dehydrated stumbles in the dreaming darkness
Faded taste of malicious lies
Water in feverous dreams
Dried up mouth in waking sleep

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Once I had hopes
Once I had dreams
I was going to touch the stars
I was going to find out
What moons were made of
I was going to see worlds
Once I had hopes
Once I had dreams
Now I am too far to see
The worlds out there

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We drift through the moments
Of silence in our flickering thoughts
Who are we then?
Brief lapses of lost identities
With none of the trappings of personality
Lies the mind tells itself drop and fall away
Folded up memories cleared
To allow the blank shuffling
Faraway stares unfocused on the present
Drifting moments of silence in flickering thoughts

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Flailing light of coursing dread
Fills my mind with painful cries
Start the crippling hopeless feeling soon
Shove the depression to the front
You’re alone, it needles
Alone now
Alone tomorrow
Alone forever
Panic only fuels the spreading fears
Alone and worthless are the whispering thoughts
The catcalls of mockery rip shreds of the soul
Run harder before it runs you down

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