searing sun
burns the heavens blue
alone
in the silent sky

I don't know if I will be wealthy or broke

if I will be with someone else or alone

but I can look into the future and say

one day I will look back and envy today


tomorrow there's no telling where I will be

and that's how I know that I owe it to me

to sometimes be still

take a moment to feel

and take it all in from the top of the wheel

I will still run
but not after you
I'll go to the forest
and fly

and I'll hang my hope
on the horn of the Moon
and leave it for you
in the sky

nothing is certain
there's fear in the water

the city has no face
a tabula rasa

nothing but questions
how can we cope?

through all this madness
do you dare to hope?

our minds are on the timeline
fear in every breath we take

we barely even notice
when the Earth begins to wake

and as the mad world rushes by
wrapped up in doom and gloom

undaunted
the forgotten spring
is bursting into bloom

deep down
you are the reason for
so many things I do

I just want to be beautiful
so beautiful
for you

one day
maybe I'll meet someone
who thinks I am enough

now that would be
so beautiful
to be so truly loved

I thought
this thought
how many times
how much I want you
to be mine

how is it now
that in its place
how much I want you
to be safe

I wanted you
I didn't care
if it was right
or good or fair

but times have changed
I can't pretend
how much I want
to be your friend

gathering sunshine
moments with friends
shopping at stores
workouts at the gym

all of the things
we did every day
nobody cared
until they went away

so good to see you
please stay healthy
nobody knows
how long it will be

gathering moments
every day
save them for when
we are all locked away

why did I show you
how I feel
I should have tried
to hide it

why did I try
to speak to you
I should have kept
my silence

my tears
will not stop falling
and I don't know
what to do

I wish that I
had never said
a single word
to you

I wish I could be there with you
so many times
and many ways

I just want to
reach out to you
but I know
it is not my place

a place where you would lie
pretend to care
and one day break my heart

and if you asked me to
I would be there
but for the grace of god

my hope
begins to grow again
a bloom
still tightly furled

one time
you were my world
but I know
there are many worlds

I think about you all the time
it's messing with my head
I wish that I
would rather think
of something else instead

and I can't stop this train of thought
no matter what I do
but I don't want to write
another poem
about you

you're broken
like a mirror
that my shadow falls onto

but we should thank the gods
they thought to cut
our soul in two

come on
be strong
and on and on
and still I long for you

you're wrong
you don't belong
how long till I belong to you?

and though I know
I must let go
it's oh so slow to do

and it is tearing out my soul
the one I stole
from you

still holding on
though this is far too sharp
to hold onto

how long until I can move on
and say so long
to you?

there is a darkness in us all
unseen behind our eyes

silent as a shadow falls
ancient as the sky

and though we shroud our souls in light
and hide behind the flames

sometimes
softly
in the night

the darkness calls our name

your silence
moves me
further away from you
and closer to
him

I will resist
not for you
but for me

he
is poison

this is a cold place
it's not just the weather
I used to believe
I'd stay here forever

somewhere the sea whispers
its siren song
deep down in my soul
I want to be warm

I am drawn to wander
though I have found no grail

where I am

is not

the whole of me

I am not the tempest
who takes hold of my sails

I am the living darkness of the sea

all the world
the words they wrote
cut and pasted back together
pirate troves  like  ransom notes
libraries of stolen  l   e   t   t  e  r  s
we  threw  our  lines  to  the  wind
some we cross   and some we blur
where our words are wandering
writing                       over
all the world

causality is not a chain
it cannot be predicted
it cannot be quarantined, contained
it branches like a tree

entangled all together
we are raindrops in the delta
never knowing whether this river
will ever reach the sea

what happens if I lose control
and do the thing that I dream of
and let your mind caress my soul
I am afraid to fall in love

and what would I do if I fell
I'd pull my feelings way down deep
and melt into your arms and tell
my deepest secrets in my sleep

this thing we call love
scares the **** out of me
I don't understand it
and I can't control it

I know about I
I don't know about we
I don't know who I'd be
if I ever found love

if I ever found love
I don't know what I'd say
I'd light up like the day
so bright

I think that you might
come to understand me
if we ever find love

goodnight

we do not know darkness
our world is full of light
brighter than a candle flame
burning in the night

in this warm sanctuary
the eye of the storm
it is easy to forget
that darkness is the norm

my heart was an open book
full of blank sections
and searching for meaning
I filled it with questions

I looked for connections
or some explanation
I looked for letters
and I found punctuation

I dreamed
a strange dark room
colossal
many flights of stairs
and in the middle
strange dark space
where some colossal
god once stood

I do not show my poetry
to anyone I know
I don't want anyone to see
so deep into my soul

to know what hides
inside my mind
and who I have become
but you do not know who I am
I could be anyone

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so close to the earth
it fills up our eyes
we forget
time to time
that we dance on the sky

sometimes we may feel
that the world is still
illusion
illuminates
wheels within wheels

we never can tell
we who never fell
what lies where the light hides
how deep is the well

o would that we could
see straight through the ground
dizzying
infinity
all the way down

dark sparkling clouds
deep within the sky where there
is no up or down

What if you could see the good
in yourself
like a friend would?

What if you could treat yourself
like you would treat someone else?

one by one
storms come down and wash away
all my rough edges

fly by night
hide from the light
in the shadow to remain

say the names
draw down the flames
only fire may break the chain

You chased me through the labyrinth
All wound up in my head
And I was lost for far too long
Untangling the threads

I learned something valuable from you
But at what cost?
I have a soul again
But it is not the one I lost

I don’t understand your mask
Only the darkness underneath
I don’t understand your smile
I only understand your teeth

An open book
For me to see
A cryptic script
I cannot read

What hidden secrets
Does it hold?
I ask
Though I have seen your soul

I want to get
Inside your head
And learn your tongue
Your alphabet

To come to know you better
To decipher you
Letter by letter

I always say
That I’m OK
It really isn’t true today
I am not coping very well
I wish I had someone to tell

It’s so hard being on my own
I feel so hopeless and alone
Who could I tell what I just said
So I said it to you instead

look in my eyes
you think you see through
mirrors not windows
you only see you

smooth as a well
I smile and I nod
but I am a maelstrom
beneath this façade

I wonder at this underworld
the demons and the ******
how long before I wake up
and remember who I am

but as I think of all I've done
the darkness in between
I wonder if this other one
is who I've always been

the face of god
stares through the ruins
souls so dark
the stars shine through them

sparkling
and bringing joy
and light to sugar o'er the void

still chasing dragons
far and wide
so I can say
at least I tried

but still I cry
it's not enough
I do not know
how to be loved

they fall for me
I run away
or just run out
of things to say

and so I'll stay
till something breaks
not sure how much more
I can take

I know it hurts me
and it's strange
but I do not know
how to change

of all the things
to be scared of
why am I so
afraid of love?

you fly too high              
    on borrowed wings
                      so far above
                         the shining sea
          and I can see you
               spiraling                                        
            the­ darkness leads you                                
down to me                                                
I ride the waves                                  
and all around                
                    the sky is light
                                 with falling feathers
                                           if I catch you
                          we both will drown
     your molten wings
hold us together

in the Sun
I do not know who I am
who I have become

in the dark
I can feel its tangled roots
deep within my heart

a dark place
how long do I want to stay
twelve seeds in my hand

I step out of the shadow
into the light
of a thousand suns

I had forgotten
how beautiful they are
in the dark

I held my voice down
miming control
I let that silence
wrap up my soul

Run though there is no direction
No direction in the void
Hide though there is no protection
Everything will be destroyed

Hope though you are only dreaming
This is something you can keep
Sing though everyone is screaming
In the darkness
In their sleep

two paths                                      cross
at the edge of the darkness
that is where I stand
I am lost
I cannot read the compass
hidden in                                  my hand

down at the crossroads
I fold my wings
breathing in flowers
burnt offerings

out of the darkness
into the light
light as a feather
soft as the night

crazed as a raver
craven and brave
low as the raven goes over your grave

take what you want from me
leave your control
down at the crossroads
give me your soul

winged thing
circling the searing Sun
far too bright to see

now I feel
its shadow betray its shape
where it falls on me

only by imagining
that I am not the sky
may I step back and see it
through these bright and mortal eyes

and I will hold the knowledge
of this beauty to the end
when one day I will close my eyes
and be the sky again

there is a river
deep as the sea
wild as the moonlight
naked and free

rush in the darkness
quick as a wish
just out of my reach
up here on the bridge