I cannot let people in
I cannot let you get through
I cannot take down these walls
I do not know what to do

I built these walls for a reason
Looking back it all makes sense
I learned not to share myself
Naive misguided self defense

Now I have outgrown this prison
I don't want to be alone
How can I convince myself
That I am worthy to be known?

This is an act of defiance
Walls can't stop me when I write
No doors here
But words are windows
Screaming out into the night

when I wear the shoes you want
I can't walk very far

when I wear the shoes you want
I can't walk quietly at all

when I wear the shoes you want
I can't outrun you anymore

someone that you can control

I think that is what you want

maybe I am drawn to darkness
so that I can be a light

the small feather that tips the scales
between "I cannot" and "I might"

a strange encounter that resets you
just enough to stay and fight
for one more night

maybe enough time to decide
to stay alive

I know that door
I've been locked in before
but now I have the keys

I hope that I can help you heal
or keep you safe from harm at least

I wish that I could be that voice
that you could follow back to peace

I walk at night
carry my light
and call to you

come walk with me

there was a man
who climbed a mountain
all the way into the clouds

and the Buddha walked beside him
silent
he said not one word

when he reached the top
the man saw
the mountain was made of skulls

not only human
but of every other kind of animal

the Buddha turned to him and said
"you will understand the Dharma

only when you understand
that these are all your skull."

we are an infinite                regress
    of reflections and           refractions
    of actions and         reactions
         complex       fractions
of interference     patterns    
and mathematical    interactions  
intricately intersecting    connections      
   branching on   tracks
through the     confusing   profusion       
of this soothing     illusion   we create      
            of reality     being a   place         
tessellating in   parallel  space   
               like an  abstract fractal  
in an interdimensional tesseract
reflecting back on itself forever

we walk boldly
through a world
where we can be killed
by a drop of water
a grain of sand

we move mountains
and destroy rivers
determined to become gods
burning down eden
to tear down the stars

but in all our power
we are like children
alone in the night
we tremble
at the open question of darkness
and weep with naked fear

Cassiopeia seems to melt
from the sky
to the ink black sea

radiant luminescent beams
a fiery crown for a dark Queen

but that pale fire is strange and green
and nothing like what I have seen

all the way from the horizon
to above my airplane window
this unearthly apparition
shows the shape of one dark wing

glowing
hovering and growing
moving like a living thing

in my mind and to my eye

alien
aware
alive

a strange and bright and haunting sight
a hundred miles
above the sea