practice being kind
for the next ten thousand hours
be kind to yourself

if I can feel it
for someone else

it isn't love
it's loneliness

that makes me wish
that you would stay

that makes me blue
when you're away

a carnival of animals
all flesh and bone and pheromone

can't categorize our chemicals
so guess at words

like love
and home

I see the future
I see my whole world in flames
and I look away

I am moving
through emptiness

building a bridge
in front of me
as I walk

I taught myself to read
to understand other people
to feel empathy

I taught myself to see how they feel
to understand why they believe
what they believe

I taught myself to dream
a world where I could be free

I taught myself to be me

I taught myself that
it's OK to learn
OK to burn
OK to scream

I taught myself that it's OK to curse
OK to be worse than someone else on the team

I taught myself to forgive monsters
and the hard world that sharpened their teeth

I taught myself that
everyone cries
everyone lies
everyone dies
everyone deserves to be alive
even me

but the idea that I deserve to be loved
completely
is still just out of reach
for some reason
that's the hardest idea for me to teach

like Heaven
it's something I wish
I could just close my eyes and believe

it's not that easy

but I WILL find a way
one day

you'll see

lift the veil
and let you know
every savage part of me
ride the night
the storm below
let the animal be free