if I ever chose to die
I would never explain why

instead of let my friends
my mother
blame themselves
the world
each other

I would leave no trace
no note
an accident
that's all she wrote

I feel that I can tell you this
because I have chosen
to live

a veil of ice
across my soul
so I control
how much you know

a smooth façade
a cool veneer
that isolates me
from my fear

I am afraid
when you get close
can you see into me?
almost

if you are warm
the ice will break
and take you
to the strangest place

I miss my family
and my friends
I am so far away from them

I hope I'll see them all again
next year

I am so lonely here

each day I try to play a role
in our society

to mimic an image
of what I think they want to see

but deep down
I am savage
I am wild
my soul has teeth

and time and time again
I try to hide that side of me

how could I ever find someone
to love me as a whole

the monsters in my mind
and the maelstrom of my soul?

through all my doubt
I dare to hope
to meet the one someday

who sees the demons in my eyes
and does not look away

slim silhouettes
of onyx trees
the sky is like
a silver sea

light fills the clouds
and overflows
like angels' wings

our brightest stone

I read a poem called God Apparition

and it made me think of this question

Have you ever encountered God?

And what can you tell me about that experience?

The Sun is my clock
And the planets my candles
They shine through the darkness
And into my eyes

The stars are my compass
The Moon is my calendar
When I have questions
I look at the sky