I look at my past
and I look away
that wasn't me
that's what I say

that wasn't me
but if that's so
then tomorrow
who will I be?

it is almost
as if to say
that I only exist
today

I want to stay
I want to be
that's why I must say
that was me

I see what love does
it scares me

I tried to find a way around love

but that hurt more
than the other
kind of
pain

I have to love
it is part of my brain

maybe I can find a way

around the fear

they are
in our sky

our sun
in their signs
our world

in their eyes
we are
in their sky

we are here
in time and space
together
sharing this strange place

where did we come from
will we return
who sent us
and what were we sent here to learn?

do I or don't I
yes or no?
maybe it's better not to know
there is freedom in the dark
one look into my soul
could collapse the
waveform

sometimes I spend too much time
online
it feels so strange
to go outside
and be myself
in front of everyone else
it's hard to forget
that the world has eyes

online I can be anyone
but outside I am one person
exactly one
no avatar and no veneer
not everywhere or nowhere
exactly here

and when I am here
really here
I feel my feelings
hope and fear
love and desire
when I am not numbed by a screen
I am on fire

sometimes it is
too much to feel
too visceral
too bright
too real

and so I spend my time online
afraid to be a human
afraid to be alive