I don't want to tangle you
up in words
my friend

teach me silence
teach me patience
teach me to pretend

I saw your soul in chains
you looked at me
just like *******

did you take me
for pleasure
or to take away the pain?

sometimes it is
almost obscene
how clearly I
say what I mean

sometimes my words
are so oblique
I might as well
not even speak

and when I give
the truth away
then that is all
I have to say

but where my mind
seems undefined
there's truth in why
I blur the lines

bite the hand

that bids us lie

through our teeth


try to take our words away


we will speak

your soul
is like a vine    
that has                  
twisted                        
itself            
  around
                my heart
                               so many times            
that I can't even
        say how I feel                                    
   anymore                                
and even if            
        I could express
                   my feelings    
       in one
cogent
form      
I have to      
     ask myself
                     what kind of fruit      
                            this union would bring forth

I am always so afraid
that I will go the wrong way

doubt in every step I take

every moment
every day

in the middle of the night
I wake and am consumed by fright

imagining I will be harmed
or that my room is full of bombs
or poison gas
or murderers

I leap from my bed in alarm

it takes some time to become calm

and find myself in dreams again
chased through the streets by evil men
or hiding from the government
a monster
or a hurricane

or just trying to take a test
I know that I can never pass
because I cannot concentrate
or arrived to the class too late

It never ends

There's no escape

I wish that for one single day
I could live my life without fear

No ticking clock
No voice of doubt
No visions of disaster

But the world is turning
It is burning

Faster and faster

And it is clear

We are all afraid
to be
here

I am so afraid
to leave

the only place I know

to let you
lead me to the light

The darkness is my home

I do not want to cause offense

I do not wish to harm

I do not want to hurt your feelings

Or to cause alarm


I do not want to challenge you

Or to make you feel small


I know that you

Don't want me to

Say anything at all


And so I've learned to blunt my tongue

To mitigate my speech

To stretch the space between the lines

As far as it can reach


I censor myself

Without thinking

Every single day


And if I could speak freely

I don't know what I would say