They admire my strength, my bravery
And how well I carried it all
They said I made this far

I wish they knew that
Even after years,
I am still on day 1 of grief

The praise I get for being alive
Is a mockery for the pain I go through inside

Rainbow smiles
Do not match her lifeless eyes

I'm not even crying.


That **** is dangerous.

I never runaway
I was kidnapped
I was being tortured
My flesh are being pierced
I was being burned alive
My mind was corrupted
My captors are invisible
But does it mean they are made up?
All you did is to blame it to me like
The hell i've been was all my fault

many people would want to make me believe
that I am valuable and loved
many had promised to keep me on their side but
it's funny how it is 1:00am and all I have is myself
it's funny how foolish people think they are capable of what they promised to be
but it is funnier and even more stupid that people like me are believing such foolishness

look who's hurting

there is no safe place
i've been around the world
there is none
all i see are wars and terrorism
****** prejudice, wrath and rage
there is no safe place
that is an illusionary imagery
because we like to believe
we're safe and sane
we all are not
we are naturally born animals
born to survive,
will steal and **** if we must
we all are kings and slaves
of ourselves at the same time
there is no safe place
anyone can harm you,
avenge for yourself
no one else would do

I ain't afraid of the dark anymore
I ain't afraid of horrible loneliness
You know what I'm afraid of?
You and you and you
All of you.

You didn't even see it?
You disguise care as salt to my bleeding wounds
No one understand it at all
The more you come close,
The more it's getting crowded for me
My neck, my whole body, I am strangled
I can't breathe!

Every time you speak
You blow up a big paranoia in my head
Your bullets are betrayals
Your daggers are false hopes
You are already killing me

All of you.