When I was still in deep pain
I prayed for the aching to stop
And God gave me you
My relief, my joy, my comfort
My love, my everything
My overflowing blessing.

she is nothing but a coward cry baby
for those who never witnessed her bravery
she is nothing but a burden
for those who do not pay attention to her soul
she is nothing but an anxious, ill woman
for those who has no intentions of knowing why
but she will continue to blossom
for those who believe that she is always worthy
she will continue to add some array of light
for those who hoped for her when she was hopeless
she will continue to believe that joy is real
for those who never leave her side when she was grieving
and she will continue to be a soothing kind of blessing
for those who prayed to receive a blessing like her

I am not able to cross out
My calendar in the wall anymore
It's been days turned into weeks
I am lost on what date today is
But I prefer no one would tell me
Do not visit my home
I am busy doing nothing and
I don't want to be bothered
I do not know the answer to your
"How are you?" so please
Do not ask that
I am also not asking for advice
Do not tell me what to do,
It just annoys me
My laments are getting scarier each night
I couldn't put into words and can't help it
So I become grumpy and irritated
I wasn't able to take a bathe and I feel, smell and look like a real mess
I am sorry.
I hate to live like this.
I sleep a lot but my body aches
I tend to overeat or to starve
One minute I'm laughing, the next thing is I'm crying
Creepy because there's no trend
Label me crazy but never pity
I don't need sympathy from the same world that cursed me
My flesh was bleeding, but now I'm just waiting for it to scar
I hope it goes like that in my life too.
I hate this, double as I hate myself...

Do not promise
To love me to the moon
And back
I don't want that
Just love me
Right by my side
And do not leave

Why do you have to leave
Can't you hear my tears echoing,
Bursting when the moon is full
I do not want to be alone
In a cold, dark, scary place
You gave me light
In the morning but
I need it at midnights
In the woods
Sorry.
I am just childish
Because it frightens me
It is killing my soul

My lucifer is lonely

I am no better like a sad poetry

Atleast let me be the poem that I always am.