for all the promises I failed to keep
I am sorry
for all the times I made you sad
I am sorry
for all the times I made you mad
I am sorry
for all the failures I made
I am sorry
for all disappointments after my name
I am sorry
for all my shortcomings
I am sorry
for every drop of tears I left in your sad eyes
I am sorry
for being overly dramatic
I am sorry
for not being good enough
I am sorry
for being a headache,
I am sorry
for being toxic,
I am sorry
for not being able to make you smile
I am sorry
for snatching your happiness
I am sorry
for your regrets of having me
I am sorry
for being helpless and depressed
I am sorry
for being numb and dumb
I am sorry
for being annoying and apologetic
I am sorry
I didn't wanted those things too
but I am sorry
this is not the version of me that I dreamt to be
but I am sorry
until my last breath, until my last poem
sincerely, I am sorry.

I miss you
Every night I do
We used to fight battles together
We used to build up each other
Don't become a stranger to me
Don't be the enemy in our story
To see you fading and sobbing
Makes me think I'm gonna lose you one more time
I said no, I don't want to let you go
We are meant to fight battles together
We are meant to build up each other
I miss you, I miss us
We are meant to be as one
Reach my hand as soon as you can please? I couldn't wait forever
Come back to me...

self.

We're just staying under the same roof
Eating the same foods, sharing the same goods
How about the "how was your day?"
How about the thank you's and I'm sorry
How about the hugs when we fail
How about the forehead kisses when in pain
You all just said I love you when all I want is to feel it
We supposed to be a whole
But over the years, we are just pretending
We are just pieces that has been gathering together
I am sorry, I ran out of adhesive 
Now, I am comfortable to watch us broken.

I can hate my life forever
But still love one part of it
And that is you
Ily.

How far can our minds could take us?
Mine brought me in a place so full of you
Where there exists so many figures and I'm almost lost
Little did I know that an idealist mind can break itself too

I came to crossover between the red lines and see you
I thought of salvation, but oh, it seems to be danger
Either a made up one or maybe an existing one
I don't know, I'm still searching for answers in your words

Having the urge to feel so I would know that it's real
Because I couldn't trust my reckless mind anymore
It could be the most treacherous thing in the world
I want reassurance when troubles feel at home in me

I almost made it
I almost have my dream confidence
But why am I here
At a point where I still do my best
For the world to be impressed
Covering up with a smile,
Finding myself convincing the world
AGAIN
That I am enough by just being me..


I'm not tired of reminding people how wonderful and lovely they are, that's what I always believe


...But I guess I couldn't help my own self anymore