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3.9k · Jul 2019
5 minute poem
Chris Balase Jul 2019
I only have 5 minutes
To spare this poetry
Here it goes:

5.
I do not wish to be seen
Said the old man in me
So leave me alone
Cause I don't want to be

4.
For I've been running away
This is what I hate
And I envy everyone else
Who are not in the same fate.

3.
What have I become?
Where will I go?
The questions are left unanswered
And I've searched high and low.

2.
To be strong once more
In my world full of doubt
To be strong while I lose
In my latest bout.

1.
I wish I had more time
Just like before
I only have 5 minutes
And I wish I had more.
978 · Jul 2019
My annoying hair
Chris Balase Jul 2019
My annoying wavy hair
was the curse and my ridicule
when I was young.

"Curly hair is a plague!"
They ghast!
Lashing down my confidence.

How annoying was to comb it
wishing to have
the same straight hair as my peers

Until the day I lost most of it.

Now I miss my annoying hair
I miss people noticing it
I miss brushing it
I miss being annoyed by it...

the same way I miss the annoying You.
I miss our little quarrels
our mishaps
our hugs
our tears
I miss people talking bad about us
I miss the anger brought by our love
I miss the midnight talks
I miss the times we don't speak
  because we were afraid to make things worse
I miss our secret adventures
Our saddest mistakes
your annoying voice
your angry stare
and all your negativity

Like my annoying hair
I wished that I had done everything
to keep you
I wished that
I held on one last time.

I miss my annoying hair
the same way that I miss
my annoying life with you


It's annoying.
837 · Apr 2017
Filipino verse
Chris Balase Apr 2017
Uuwi nanaman ako sa luma kong tahanan
Titingin sa mga pader
At kakausapin ang mga sulok
Titingala, hihiling sa gabi at bituin
Na sana mapawi na ang kirot
Na nadarama ng puso

Masakit na ang mag isa

Masakit na ang walang mapaghingahan
At ang tanging tinig na maririnig
Ay ang alingawngaw ng isip

Pipilitin ko umidlip.
Pakiusap, hayaan mo akong umidlip
At manatiling ligaw
Sa panaginip kong ninakaw
Ng mga lumipas na araw
Dahil napagtanto ko na...

Masakit na ang mag isa.
Nothing beats your native tongue
514 · Jul 2020
Monotone
Chris Balase Jul 2020
I don't need moments of excitement
no seasons of joy
I don't need sparks that heightens
or splashes of coy

I need regular, unyielding,
steadfast, and true
I need the monotony of embracing
someone like you
An excerpt from a longer poem which I had written and lost.
503 · Aug 2018
Paminsan minsan
Chris Balase Aug 2018
Sa pagbuka ng liwayway
Kasabay ng sikat ng araw
Na dumadampi sa aking
Mga panaginip na ligaw

Minsan, sa aking pagbangon
Kasabay ng pagbawi ng unos
At paglubog ng ngiti
Ay mga luhang kusang umaagos

Minsan, sa kabila ng aking
Pagtingin at pagtalikod
Ay nawawasak ang aking
Mga matatatag na bakod

Paminsan minsan,
Naalala kita... tayo,
Naalala ko ang bawat lambing
Ng mga binitawang pangako

Minsan, bumubukas ang mga sugat
Minsan, lumalala ang bigat
Minsan, bunabalik ang nakaraan
Minsan, bumabaliko ang daan

Paminsan minsan, nakikita kita
Sa bawat sulok ng aking ala ala.
444 · Aug 2017
The Secret Place
Chris Balase Aug 2017
Once, we met in our old secret place
Under the sea of stars
You can feel from your back...
the blanket of clouds dancing in the air
the pulse of emotion
captive stories that shouts freedom from imprisoned hearts

That night, the crickets were silent
the trees stopped swaying
I silenced the entire universe to listen
to you...
And on that day, I knew you.

You told me stories of your past
I answered the hows and the whens
the whos and the wheres
your happiest and saddest experiences

I will never forget that night.

When your finger hushed you lips already trembling in cold
And the moment you opened you mouth
The floor you were lying on became a stage...
where you began to sing.
I listened
to the beat,
the beat,
the beat,
the beat of your heart
under your voice as you enunciate your words
of the lyrics of a familiar song
which we had both written
and I listened to your every little word
every little breath
the highs and the lows
In every whisper and every shout
The world was shouting with you
but I listened to no one but you
because I know
that on that night you didn't need promises
you didn't need gifts
you didn't need praises
you didn't need roses from anyone's mouth
or flattering words
I know what you need is a pair of ears who will listen
so I listened...

While you were telling stories about your favorite childhood toy
that one time you cried in a singing contest because you were nervous
about the first love that you had
I listened to you.

I listened to you because
I love you
If you failed to hear it the first time we met
I will say it again
"I love you"
And this is not the same love that you hear from the world
this is the love that is the most genuine of all...
the love that will listen to you

So tell me how you discovered love
and I will tell you how I created love
so tell me how they hurt you
and I will tell you how they humiliated me,
how they beat me,
how they crucified me
and how I agreed to all of this because of a promise
Remind me how many times you were lost
and I will remind you how many times I searched
remind me how many times you failed
and I will remind you how many times I embraced you

Show me that you are ready to trust
that you are ready to love
and I will show you how to pray...

So don't be afraid to tell me

I am listening to you, I understand
because I know what it feels
to be unheard


One time...
I saw you in our secret place
underneath the sea of stars
you can feel from your back
the blanket of clouds dancing in the wind
the pulse of emotions...
captive stories that shouts freedom from imprisoned hearts

But on that night
on that night...
the crickets were all angry
trees' branches were swaying unceasingly
the whole universe was making noises for you
and on that day...
I held you in my arms
but your numb body failed to realize I was there
I said "I love you"
but you did not listen to me
you would rather listen to the world
the world that says "You are ready to love, if you are ready to get hurt."
But always remember this:
Not every wounded heart fought the right battle.

Now there is a battle happening in your heart...
tell me about them...
and I will listen.
Translated from a Tagalog slam poem. Credit goes to the original author: Brian Vee
412 · Jul 2016
The hopeless romantic
Chris Balase Jul 2016
The hopeless romantic
When I say I’m a hopeless romantic, feel free to criticize, scrutinize and vandalize my words…
But remember that they are nothing compared to the intensity of my true emotions, my dear.
For this hopeless romantic feels, dreams, hopes and cares too much, too much for you.
I feel you everytime I see you, and see you even if were far away.
For distance is never measured by miles or kilometers, it can never be scored by the spacial differences between inches or light years…distance, is always dependent on how close our hearts are. And how close are we my love?
I dream of you even when I am awake, and in my dreams I clearly see you wrapped within my arms in the midst of the world’s chaos. And in spite all that, there is peace found in between our embrace. As quiet, tranquil and silent words hush our doubts and fears. For fear is captured in a prison called freedom, a freedom only found inches away from our heavy breathing.

For this hopeless romantic fears, dreads, gropes and cries too much, too much for you.
393 · Jul 2017
Autumn
Chris Balase Jul 2017
The autumn reminds
Me of memories of you
Of days past
And my days of blue.
The autumn lingers
With dreams of fair
When distance was naught
And love was to share.
This autumn will come
And sooner it will be
Just trinklets of you
And shattered pieces of me.
And I really disdain
This autumn so near
All I really care for
Are words you will never hear
Inspired by another Vuetnamese song.
361 · Nov 2019
I stopped
Chris Balase Nov 2019
I don't care anymore
Since this is the only language
My heart can truly speak
Since it seems like caring for you
Or caring for us
Only chockes your precious freedom.

You want me to change
Yet when I plea for you to do the same
You make me feel worse.

So I don't care if we crash
I don't care if you cheat
I don't care if you hurt

I will simply don't care.
325 · Mar 2018
Vernacular II
Chris Balase Mar 2018
Sana sa susunod
Ako naman ay sumaya
Sana sa muling pagtatagpo
Ng aking tadhana
Sa iyong liwanag
Ay tuluyan nang mapawi ang dilim
Na dinulot ng mapait na nakaraan.

Sana hindi na tayo
Luluha ng ganito

Sana ang sakit
Ay tuluyang magbago

Sana ang mundo ko
Ay sya ring mundo mo

At sana ang bawat gabi nati'y
Wala ng dalamhati

Pagkat nais kong ihanda
Ang langit ng aking pagsinta
Para sa iyong pagpunta
Ay makumpleto na ang iyong ligaya

Sana

Sana'y sa susunod
Hindi na tayo ang luluha
.
309 · Sep 2019
Slow
Chris Balase Sep 2019
I want to hold you close
while my fingertips
slowly drips
through your skin

with the gentlest of touch
from our lips
swaying movements from our hips
as we melt in this soiree.

Slow dancing
in this tune
on a rainy afternoon
we begged ourselves to stay.
307 · Jul 2019
Alone
Chris Balase Jul 2019
Wilted pillows on a stormy night
I beseech my spirit to fight
I drown myself with locklaced songs
As I brace myself for being alone
306 · Jun 2017
A requiem
Chris Balase Jun 2017
My love, I set you free
For I am bound in chains
Do not come and visit my chamber
For it will only cause you pain.

My freedom is never near
Behind these walls and masks
So for that I compel you to bid ear
And listen well to my final task.

I set you free, to find your happiness
Though our love has endured its time...
I bid you find someone else to love
For you can no longer be mine.

Plant a kiss to our child, for I can never will
And embrace him in my absence
Remind him to be humble and true
So that he will remember my presence.

I am neither rich or powerful
So I cannot give you gold that shines,
Perhaps I may promise you wealth that you deserve
In another place, in another time

My love I would've given everything
To feel your touch and the warmth of your embrace...
And I would always remember you
Your very nature, your very face.

But behind these curtain of iron I creep
And on this cold pavement I lie
A prisoner of fortune and mishaps
Bound until the very day I die.

So I set you free, I set you free
Now begone before I change my mind
I set you free, I set you free
Please don't leave anything behind.
Inspired by a Vietnamese song about a P.O.W.
302 · Dec 2017
The beast and the trainer
Chris Balase Dec 2017
The beast and the trainer roamed around
The stage where lights and people abound
The crowd cheered as they each gain, for the beast: respect, for the trainer: fame.

The beast and the trainer, both actors they were,
And the world was astonished as they watched and stared
"Look! The trainer is better than before!"
Everyone loved the trainer more.

For the trainer could do what he wanted to do,
And the beast just followed through and through
They mocked the beast up to their heart's delight
So the beast turned his back away from their sight.

And the beast walked away in shame,
For he was tired of people calling him names,
"What they don't know..." he said quietly,
"Is that I surrendered and sacrified willfully."

For the beast loved the trainer after all,
Tis' the reason why he gave his all.
In every relationship, one will get the glory while the other will sacrifice.
279 · May 2017
Sleep well tonight
Chris Balase May 2017
Hush your voice
Which cometh from within
Count the beat of thy heart
And listen.

Pray to God to forgive thy mistakes
As we do the same to our foes... And ourselves.

Then.

Close thy eyes
And see
Your deepest wiles engulfed in dreams
For there thyself is free
And there they shall forever be...

Then breathe...
Take them all in.
  Thy faults
   Thy pain
      Thy virtues
        Thy past
For nothing in reality will last
This is thy vocation, thy task.

And before you close the light so bright...
Smile and think of me
Saying:
Sleep well tonight.
279 · Dec 2017
Thank you
Chris Balase Dec 2017
Thank you
For sharing with me
This wonderful time with your family
For knowing your daughter
For allowing me to take her to school
And cuddling her at night.
For your mom's warm
Home cooked meals
For showing me your dreams
For your once warm embrace...
Thank you.

But I will never forgive you
I will always hate you
For breaking my heart.
When abundant affection turns to absolute pain. Nuff said.
266 · Oct 2020
Let me
Chris Balase Oct 2020
Let me touch
  even in the slightest way
     your shadow
        as it moves away

Let me reminisce
  every promise, broken
    every teardrop
       every faint word, spoken
263 · Apr 2019
Shriveled
Chris Balase Apr 2019
It wasn't explained
And you were left
Thinking it was all your fault
Or that you didn't measure up
To her expectation.

So you stand there amazed, aghast, alone.
As the trauma hits you slowly.
You wanted to cry, or to shout, or to do both.
Yet you remain still...
Trying to comprehend
The reality you are now forced into.
As tears gently kiss your cheeks
Down to your shrivelled lips
Mumbling sounds
Trembling chest of unbelief
As your heart wants to break out of his cage
And try to run into her arms
As she slips away

It was too much

So you end up making
Your own sense of this nonsense
And try to rationalize the gravity of this predicament.
256 · Feb 6
Every Morning
Chris Balase Feb 6
I open my eyes
and see the most beautiful expression
found in your subtle smile

Every morning
I smell your tender perfume
emanating from your skin
Driving me deeper within
being lost in the sensation
of this moment
   interlocking our lives

Every morning for the past month
I thank God for being alive
I thank God
for having you here in my arms
  every morning
255 · Dec 2016
Acrostic 001
Chris Balase Dec 2016
Knowing

Every morning I find myself whispering your name
Remembering thy subtle touch and joyous eyes
Even now I feel that things are  not the same
Now I need to know you behind your guise
243 · Jul 2016
Freestyle 07/09/2016
Chris Balase Jul 2016
I am too tired now
from the follies of my youth
I am too scared
of creating the same mistakes
I am too cautious
in finding who's worthy
and too weak
to try to d o it all again

sigh

But I need to breathe
and as my lungs are slowly sipping
the magnitude of this world
after exhausting
the dire muck of my memories

I think and proclaim to myself
no...it is but a whisper now...
I whisper: "One day at a time"
I close my eyes in surrender
to the infinite
and access my potential
knowing that  in the deepest recess of my soul
a spark is still there
awaiting my command
awaiting to be tapped
awaiting to be born

"But whisper softly"
I say.
"For it is not time for your to awake"
237 · Jan 2017
I just want to be happy
Chris Balase Jan 2017
I wish not for glorious riches
I seek not for fame and pride
I dream of a home to look unto
a place where I can be alive

I whisper not prayers of uncanny health
nor wish for eternal wisdom's guide
I dream of whispering "I love you"
to my woman, to my child

And yes, I dream of doors wide open
to my return from a laborious day
and sit to find some bread and porridge
to warm the coldness of my summer's day

So that I may lay round a crowd of few
and close my eyes so weary and sappy
and to barely utter my last words
this, is what will make me happy.
232 · Jan 2017
When you know it hurts
Chris Balase Jan 2017
An empty space looms around
and violence shakes the underground
I search with hope, but none can be found
with voiceless cries I shout without a sound

And every glance that pierces me
reminds me of why I am not free
and every mutter seems like spells
of scrutiny cast from it's wells.

No rhyme no rhythm no symphony
can ease the burden of my agony
and the tales of providence that people see
are nothing compared to the emptiness in me

Oh how each day seems bleak and blue
since the day that I lost You
My hope, my pride, my teardrop burst
That's when I knew that it hurts
Chris Balase Jan 2017
It was supposed to be a glance
out of curiosity
of whether how strong I think I have become
and how much distance I have progressed
away
from
you

But I should never have looked back
  for my days of preparations
  my cunning deceptions
  and my untold lies that I have forgotten you
  have all fallen short
the moment
I  
saw
you

As the memories came
rushing like the wind
and the what ifs
stalk my shoulders,
prancing like a gazelle,
enticing me to try
to
win
you
back

And yes,
I should never have looked back.
223 · May 2016
Forget her, heart
Chris Balase May 2016
Forget her, heart, forget her smile
Forget her face that went a thousand miles
Forget her touch that made you soar...
Forget her voice, and yes, much more...

Remind yourself not, of those moments of sincerity
those promises of living and leaving eternity
Cloud not your thoughts, and dream not of her
She will never come back, not now, not never.

Then rest, breathe, collect, restore
Each step you take, will be one step more
and though today and tonight is dark and bleak
remember thy strength, forget that thou est are weak.

Yes knives and knaves have filled thy space
so thou must re-fill it with the warmest of embrace
So remind thyself not, and by this I mean true...
Forget her... cause she has forgotten you.
*The first 2 lines and the last line was written when I was 12 years old. I forgot the rest of the poem but I felt that it was a good thing to refurbish. So there, my new "old" poem.*
222 · Dec 2017
Dabda
Chris Balase Dec 2017
Denial
  I did deny that your kisses were shorter
And when I reached out to hold your hand, you would...
Count a few seconds before reaching to your phone, to keep your hands busy.
Or that you would always find an excuse, to spend less intimate time with me.

Anger
  At the fact that I chose to stay with you, than to spend time with my family.
I willingly chose to accept your invitation.
Angry at the fact that I could not do amything beyond my time.

Bargain
  I tried talking and listening to your side.
You said you no longer want verbal and physical gestures of affection
You said that we have to hide our aftections, for others are quick to judge..
And you always introduced me as a friend.
I accepted your terms. Bargaining I did... To make us last a little bit longer.

I was just prolonging my agony. Thinking it was worth it.

Depression.
  Every night I cried
I have never experienced this much pain.
For seeing you so near to my grasp,
Yet holding you was never an option.

Acceptance.
  Give me more time.
Then maybe I will accept this fate,
Of losing the one I loved for reasons unknown, or perhaps, for no reason at all...
With lingering thoughts of you
I wish to smile, be happy for myself and for you...
And say goodbye
221 · Oct 2020
All
Chris Balase Oct 2020
All
All
  of my bad memories
  are gone

but why am I still not happy?
218 · Dec 2017
The dichotomy of you
Chris Balase Dec 2017
Split between
Your warm embrace and your sweet smile
Is the ever lingering thought of "Will you ever truly be mine?"
When you say you love me
And then say that we wouldn't last long
Is the piercing sensation
Of proving you wrong.
But your intimacy has left
And this pushes me back
I am left to think
That you are at your end... While I am still on track.
But you say you love me
So I give my love still
For it is just who I am,
and what I am capable of doing

So it kills me every waking hour

Let me just end with that.
Too tired
Too many tries
What changed?
Is this who you truly are,
Or are you just pushing me away?
216 · Dec 2016
The night cap
Chris Balase Dec 2016
Another one closes and shuts
I am over the fence...
whether to be relieved, or to leave
Or to be a friend

At least the boundaries were set
and yes, we did try
though the trial was brief,
it was definite in her eyes

Closing another chapter is both
bitter and profound
both scarring and joyous  
but the pain remains some how

We were sipping the night away,
with paper cups and mini stops
as the evening turned to dawn
and my smirks hide my tear drops.
Written after another chapter of my life closes. This was more painful, but more quick. And for that I feel satisfied.
Carry on, Chris, carry on.
A few more battle scars,
a few thousands more
214 · Dec 2017
Save me this night
Chris Balase Dec 2017
Save me this night
Oh hallows that grin
My fears have gathered
And rebeled within
At my weakest I clinch
And thump my chest
To remind me to breathe
My deepest regrets
My wailing eyes have rejected
The providence declared
And my wounds are opened
My blood has been shed
So I clinch again
My chest has never felt so tight
Please I beg all of you
Come save me tonight.
Takotsubo cardiomyopathy
212 · Feb 21
Fear of rain
Chris Balase Feb 21
I fear my fear is coming back
I run and hide away
but still am trapped
inside my shack

Of fog and smoke
of mud and myre
of skeletons unseen
of undying desire

Of musing turned scars
of vomits and vermin
of memories lost
and memories forgotten

My memory is such
full of anguish and pain
full of harm and regret
that's why I fear the rain
204 · May 2016
Therapeutic001
Chris Balase May 2016
There are many nights like this night
when the warmth of the air
reminds me of the warmth
found in the solace of your embrace

When the stillness of the blackened sky
embodies the emptiness of my soul

and the moon beams...
nothing but broken dreams.

As I, being left alone, hide behind
the bars of my lonely window...
mourning til dawn.

Till I bear them no more.
And no one's the witness,

Except this night.
200 · May 2016
Sonnet: An unrequitted love
Chris Balase May 2016
There is no rhyme, no feeling, no despair
Compared to loving and not receiving
In the world of love, they say it's unfair
No matter what side, you end up losing.
For in the days of sunlight, you fear rain
So in the darkest hour you cry alone
What was once pride has now turned into shame
What was once yours is no longer your own.
But heart, do not set forever, be wise
For slowly and surely you will survive
And wake up to find love that would suffice
Though unrequitted before... You will strive.
For though you have been hurt, you will heal too,
And in healing you'll find true love for you.
199 · Dec 2016
Cumber
Chris Balase Dec 2016
This is me

After the battles that made me both strong and weak
after all the agony and the losing streak
Behind the cumber of memories, where I both lived and died
and the absence of emotions where I laughed and cried.

Oh the strength of my youth is fleeing so swiftly
and my being is exposing my every frailty
what I once feared to become is who I have turned to be
Oh, the lost which once was found was taken away from me...

But,
This is me

Though calloused and lost
Though pained and insecure
Though stabbed and wounded
Though forsaken by many

I still live, and for that I am secure
My bleak future is ahead, and with that comes hope
For I have seen in the past what really matters most,
for I believe that the things which can be lost
   are things which can be attained once more

So let the hopeless romantic rise
and the dreamer see visions once more
Let my feeble hands and scarred sinews
regain their strength toward the final blow

For my battles are over but my war shall not end
and though each blow becomes tougher-
so tougher too shall I become

I look at my hands, shaking, numb
I recall my dreams, like shadows moving
I feel my heartbeat, strong, yet afraid
and I take my deep breaths to feel my life

This is me.
Chris Balase Jul 2018
When we no longer are bound
by our restless worlds
and when these foes surround
have turned their tempers cold
When my nightmares have turned
into dreams come true
After our hearts have been burned
from the sunset's dew
For there our souls will see
the eternal place of no sorrow...
so until our hearts run free
I will just love you tomorrow
192 · Apr 2017
A contractual affair
Chris Balase Apr 2017
We are both ticking bombs
Awaiting for its time
To shed the last minute together
And end this passionate rhyme
And the thing that hurts
Is that I know it will surely end
Yet here I am, clingling, holding
Pretending to be a friend
For a fool I was,
And a fool I am now
Giving genuine touches
Giving my soul somehow
For we are but ticking bombs
Ready to expire
Lost in this moment,
In the memory of our desires.
192 · May 2016
Day 9 (Feb 20, 2016)
Chris Balase May 2016
This is the longest week...
of what would be my longest month...
of my longest year.
Losing you is the easy part,
living everyday without you is the hardest.
How do I cover my ears
from the echo of your voice
coming from my heart?
How do I stray away
from your shadow
imprinted on every wall, every inch of my space?
How do I train my memory
to forget you
when I have forgotten myself in you?
I still whisper your name
and see you
every time I don't see you.
For the music stopped
my heart dropped
my eyes were swollen
my wounds were opened
and you didn't even say goodbye.
190 · Jul 2016
Perfect
Chris Balase Jul 2016
This was your favorite adjective
Your favorite line.
"This is perfect!" You exclaimed,
While your eyes shined.
It was perfectly subtle when we met
In a perfect evening of sorts
And yes, it was perfect too...
Though it was perfectly short.

I was looking at some photographs
When I suddenly find
Memories of you and I...
When time was once kind
When you were still mine.

I remember your perfect face,
Your perfect eyes,
Your perfect embrace
Your perfect smile.

You were perfect.

We were perfect.

What we had was perfect.

Until you left me with lies.
Then I died.
186 · Jul 2018
Ode to my mom
Chris Balase Jul 2018
I saw in her eyes, passion!
Her lips, strength!
She taught me to use words,
as both a tool and a weapon!

Her ways were like no other
Her spirit was fierce
She became our fortress
She was our anchor.

Now, she is ebbing away
as dementia eats
her memories, her all...

Now I see in her eyes,
sparkling shades of joy
found in the innocence of a child

The words she taught me
I now return to her
filled with compassion

I have never seen her dance
ever so freely,
I have never seen her smile
ever so constantly.

Dementia has tried to erase
her strength and wisdom
but has failed to realize
that she is eternal.
186 · Jul 2016
anniversary note
Chris Balase Jul 2016
i remember the first time when i first saw you
it was inside a church, when God spoke
"she will be your wife" unto my ears.

i remember the morning when we first said "i love you"
and held hands...
shaking as they were

when i saw you walking towards me
on our wedding day...
oh how i remember them well.

i remember last night
when we cuddled ourselves to sleep
whispering "i love you"
holding each other
-tightly, like there's no tomorrow
i will remember it well

and every time will i remember
our days past
and our days to come

i could never be happier, fulfilled and assured
with anyone else
i love you
Another one from a land far away, and  time long gone.
178 · May 2016
Untitled
Chris Balase May 2016
And at the end of it all
She said goodbye
And he found his missing piece...
Their lives move on
And tonight he knows
His world is at peace...

One down, a thousand more
The demons of his past
The hauntings they have brought
Will slowly come to naught...
  AT THE END OF IT ALL.
Written tonight. After finally closing one small chapter, ending a once significant character, and leaving one mistake from my past, while sipping coffee and talking about whimsical doodles. One down, a thousand more ghosts to face.
173 · May 2016
Therapeutic002
Chris Balase May 2016
The train of destiny
Has carried you
My love, has it carried you
Away, and far, and fast!
It has carried with it:
My dreams, and left me
     With agony
My hopes, and left me
     With fear
My strength, and left me
     With void

Oh the train of destiny
Has carried my Love
Carried my Love away

But the sad reality is...
She chose to not stay.
170 · Oct 2020
S K I P
Chris Balase Oct 2020
Skipping beats
Skipping beats
Skipping beats

I think I'm falling, again.

Skipping beats
Skipping beats
Skipping...
169 · Jan 2019
Shhh no one listens
Chris Balase Jan 2019
Shhh! no one listens
To you oh weary soul
They too have their own burdens
So you must carry your cross alone

Shhh! no one cares
To walk with you in your darkness
Oh how you would've showcased
Your shattered feeling of unrest

Shhh! no one demands
To hear your lousy side of the story
You are but a king turned to a beggar
An unimportant, forgotten memory

And Shhh! Thou must hide
And cover yourself with mud
It is ***** but fitting
To your tarnished blood!

Alas! no one hears
Or cares what you will end up to be
Alas! My heart be strong...
For in solitude you must be.
167 · May 2017
Phiền muộn
Chris Balase May 2017
My woes tonight are unspoken
with wars and storms that rage
within mine self

unexplained they are
untamed...untrimmed

I need you to tame them
to hold mine hand
and gaze me with thine eyes
that shoot like the stars

It is unfair for you to do this, I know

For you need sheltering too
from your woes, my dear

So mine lips will be silent
as we hold onto each other

For this is what I need
and you would suffice.
Depression is a traitor.
164 · Feb 2018
Allow me to be
Chris Balase Feb 2018
Allow me to be cheezy
For I have no one else to share
My inmost thoughts and feelings
No one to compare

Allow me to express
Just a little of it to you
I promise not to  overwhelm
I promise this to be true

Let me start off by saying
That I really adore
Everything and anything
About you... and more

The way you laugh
The way you smile
That sparkling twinkle in your eyes

The way you care
The way you move
And your most noblest of desires

Your strength of character
hidden
Underneath your blossomed cheeks
Your adoring kindness embedded
And forever thou will keep

And shall I add the things you make me do?
How you make me smile away
My darkest days of blue

And how you make me excited
To see a brand new way
For in it I can find
You greeting for the day

Those are just some
For my reasons are long
Allow me to be cheezy
Before this day is gone.

With thoughts of you tonight. :)
Heart's day is a hard day... Luckily, you can find some ray of light hidden in another's smile.
164 · Jun 2018
This time.
Chris Balase Jun 2018
I hope next time, I will be happy
I hope next time that my destiny meets your light,
the darkness caused by the pain of the past will fade.

I hope we will not cry like this anymore.

I hope the hurt will completely change.

I hope my world will also be your world.

And I hope our every night will have no sorrow.

Because I want to prepare,
A heaven for my love,
so that when you come,
your joy will be complete.

I hope.

I hope that next time...
We will no longer shed a tear
Hoping can be as painful as believing.
162 · Jul 2016
a lullaby
Chris Balase Jul 2016
write me a lullaby
and sing for me tonight
sing songs about your love
tell me how its going to be alright

woo me again
whisper softly into my ear
call me again
take away all my fears

you shall halt my doubts
with your reassuring words
you shall put thine peace
you could bind my cords

and wash me away
and cleanse me anew
with your sweet perfume

so tonight i pray
let the stars shine
let the cold air breeze
for i long to rest

so please

write me a lullaby
sing them to me
for tonight my God
i want to walk in love with You
circa 2010
161 · Jul 2016
Untitled
Chris Balase Jul 2016
When all I ever needed was you.
When all I ever yearned for is your presence.
When all this void can only be filled with your love.
When your whisper is the only sound that catches my attention.

I buried them all...
Or so I think.
Or so I wished.
And I have left them
Half-heartedly
... Or so I say.

You visited me one night,
Oh my old friend
It was shorter than before
But my tears lasted longer than usual.

It was nice seeing you
Though this time in my dream
And it was all but a glance
Of what we used to be.

For the death of what we had
Gave you peace
And in return,
It gave me nothing but fear.

My old friend, I missed you
Written after dreaming Her one early morning.
159 · Jun 2019
Unfolded
Chris Balase Jun 2019
Breathe, Chris

Breathe.




This too
Shall pass
Back to zero
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