It's ironic.
All of those years,
sitting through bible studies,
being forced to attend weekly mass,
rather than building a relationship with their God,
I built anger towards the very idea of it.

*******
******* is a mortal sin
*******
my dog isn't going to heaven
*******
and every contradictory ******* teaching in your "holy book"
*******
and your homophobic, thieving, child molesting "ministers"

I don't believe in that ****

Why should I feel guilty about breaking your ******* commandments

You tried to brainwash me from the time I was a small child until the time I graduated highschool

And I'm supposed to believe that the evil ones reside in the islamic faith

*******

I relish in every scandal that befalls you

I wish I could unlearn the "ideals" that have been force fed to me throughout my entire young life and now plague my character

I hope change comes with time

I hope I find out what God really is

Your soft skin
and your piercing eyes
Your closed off heart
and your open thighs

My fragile mask
and My lustful sighs
My careful words
form my truthful lies

our bodies part
our *** release
leave us with
uncertain peace

the tension builds
the tempers flair
this *** release
has left us bare

going back
to our youth
I wish we knew
this simple truth

love is dead

Divinely I dream

Benignly I live

Sublimely I gleam

Shyly I give

My heart on a platter

Begging to flatter

A people to whom

I do not matter

She was born in April, baptized in may and we married on valentines day.
Her beautiful soul changed my life for the better.
When I was with her it was always sunny weather.
Remember that trip we took to Denver?
That was the best week of my life.
I'm so happy I got to make her my wife.

Unfortunately for me ,nothing gold can stay.
I told you that mommy had to go away, up to heaven and  I'm sorry but she's not coming back,
that was the moment that my soul turned pitch black,
My spirt couldn't defend the constant attacks from the adamant grief that had stricken my heart and denied me relief.
My veil of despair clouded my mind. When I lost my wife I thought you were fine
forgetting that you too lost something divine.


I was so absorbed in myself that I couldn't see you needed me.  
You cried out for help but I couldn't break free.
I was so concerned with what was happening to me that I rejected my duty and responsibility.
Please don't hate me.
**I'm sorry

Our love was so deep that it transcended the meaning of the word.
I needed a different phrase to make my feelings heard.
Our romance was never normal.
Our dance was never formal.
I loved you in a different way. In a manner words could not portray.
Why Couldn't you stay?
We could've lived out the rest of our days.
Together.

I trap myself inside my mind.
I try to make myself blind
to the bond we used to share.
I try not to care.
But I can't run away from the emotions or the oceans of despair.


So I lock myself inside my head trying to decipher the puzzle presented to me.
How can something so beautiful become so ugly?
How can something once so alive be so dead?
Will this agonizing sorrow stop running through my head?

I try to cope and I hope that this suffering will end.
But when I close my eyes I hear your voice and pretend
that you are still well.
And that's when my eyes swell
and the scared loneliness comes rushing back.

How can I carry on with my life,
when your death is stuck in my mind like a knife?
You were taken too soon
like a lunch before noon.
I promise we'll meet again soon....
**I'll never get out of this world alive