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Aug 2014 · 324
the breakup
Charlotte Aug 2014
She helps him as he struggles, awakes of the cabbie’s pitiful stare,
Her man, her prince, again too drunk to care,
Leans for support, to stagger to the door,
He’s had too much, hanging out, aching to his core.
She doesn’t speak, just implores, ‘can you make it to the gate?’
Her eyes gaze on, as she wonders, how did it get this late?

Chris, Dave, Jack, Sam; he’s seen it all before,
One and the same, with the same poor girl, never wanting more.
He sees the care go all one way, until it’s thrown back in her face,
The words change up, a variable phrase, but always a bitter taste.
He bites his tongue, watches on, and sees the scene unfold again
Pretty dresses, different colours, where each hand leaves a sweaty stain.

‘He’s lovely, so sweet’ she says to her friends, ‘just some growing up to do’
Whilst inwardly wondering ‘is this it? Now the gilt’s worn off the new?’
Then one day she waits, he comes around, nothing to suggest what’s coming next,
‘I think we should break up’ he says. She stops, her feelings annexed.
Not a word, not a sign, he leaves without saying goodbye
Controlled, she waits until the door clicks shut, before breaking down and begging ‘why?’

This empty room holds no answers, chest hurts, eyes bleed, heart breaks.
Hoping and praying he’ll come back, that it’s all been a big mistake
Those final words, with no explanation, leaves her with ‘what about me wasn’t right?’
The hours pass, the tears subside, but that final question drags her into the night.
Next the phone call, the ‘I’m sorry, I miss us, all I can think of is you’
He begs, he cries, that final question, what do you want me to do?

She tells him she doesn’t know, but that he can fix it, he just has to work out how.
He doesn’t know, comes up with promises he’ll break and then one final vow:
‘I’ll call you tomorrow, when I’ve sobered up, and we’ll sort all this out’
With that she sleeps, content in the knowledge that he does care, after all.
Next day time passes, as the sun goes down her happiness dissipates
Until at last she accepts it, with that final question, ‘how did it get this late?’
Charlotte Aug 2013
Ah to dream about death and destruction,
What a damning trick of my mind, my dear.
To look at my life and see the reduction
Of it, to the beginnings; I see the fear
Etched on you, bountiful smile
My love
Wipe that grimace away, it is not for us
Don’t look at me like a thing from above.
I cannot be that which you think I must.
Draw me a line in the December dirt,
And don’t be a John to my Marilyn.
I want to believe that it didn’t hurt
You, to twist the knife as I let it in.
I’ve been getting ready for you for years
Now is the time to put away my fears.
Feb 2013 · 614
Electric Green
Charlotte Feb 2013
Electric green
From deep brown to electric green.
That one phrase in the wrong handwriting changed it all.
Tears trickled down a rock face in the rain
Finding every cave, every wrinkle, every crease,
Cascading.

Dragging with every drop rivulets of black,
Tracing and highlighting bone and skin,
Red darts added more colour,
Surrounding the red,
My eyes a bloodied battle field in the rain.
Streaming.

Nothing staunching, no control,
The loss never so keenly felt,
My heart searching for a way for it not to be
True is not one colour, it is shades of grey and light
And here is a secret. Death is none and all colours, it is heart wrenching, stomach twisting, mind bending,
Bleeding tears.
Feb 2013 · 665
Leaving
Charlotte Feb 2013
I know it’s late
But we need to talk
It’s getting later,
I wish I hadn’t called
But I need to say some things
I need to get to you
You make me angry,
You make me mad
You make me feel like I’m no good to be around
I know we just don’t match,
And I know you know it too,
But lately, there’s just something about you
That I can’t leave
Jan 2013 · 247
Untitled
Charlotte Jan 2013
You’re no one, just a boy I knew once.
Love fleeting, a glimpse of eternity
Then gone,
In a flash of brown hair, blue eyes and her smile
So ask me if I miss you
You know I do
Tell me you wish...
Because I do too
But we are yesterday
Today is today
Don’t make it something it wasn’t
It was amazing
But it finished.
And now, I’ll see you in the street
And smile
And someone might ask
And I might say
“No one, just a boy I knew once”

— The End —