Make me want you every day
Nothing but you
Who am I?
Wake up alone
And I claw at my skin
Covered in traces of you
And who am I?
Addict.
I am nothing without you
The world closes up
Without you dripping in my veins
Crave each touch
You have me begging on my knees
“I’ll let the bad parts in.”
Addict.
Hazy vision
I’ve lost my way
I stumble into walls
With your voice dancing in my head
And I fall down
                      down
                            down
Into the abyss.
Craving your touch
Makes everything else lack meaning
Is this a way to live?
Addict.
This love is all-consuming,
Leaves me raw and screaming.
Pushed down and drowning
Can’t come up for air--
Is this love?
I crave you and you fill me up
You pour yourself in me
And I claw my way along
To take yet another hit of you.
Addict.
The sun’s been gone for days
Or weeks, or years;
I can’t tell when I’m living in a world
Revolving around you.
The fog settles all around
The haze has filled my mind
There is one last question
That I grasp to, desperately:
Where did I go?
Addict.

here we are again
old friend
we tried to drift apart
to empty out our chests
to drain our broken hearts
over-flooded with tears
of a love gone toxic
here we are again
dear friend
i couldn't forget you if i tried
and god, did i
oh god, did i
i closed my eyes and dreamed of a life anew
but nothing really came close
to making me as happy as you
here we are again
my friend
you are mine, aren't you
there is no one else here now
once again, it's me and you

i began to accept
that life was different now
and that i would never
taste your lips again
and that someone else
would feel the flush of your cheek
and the warmth of your smile.
and yet
as soon as i threatened life
with my weak strength
and my forced contentment,
as soon as i pushed forward
through the looking glass
into a life i never imagined
here i fell
right where i wanted to be,
all along.
this was a long-winded journey
to the same spot
i was at
several times before
and yet
i cannot say that
i am sorry things
turned out this way
because it is hard to imagine
your lips tasting as sweet
if i had just taken
the empty, concrete path
that we had been on
before

i'd been crawling toward redemption
and i'd almost made it there
when a detour to nowhere
sent me straight into the air
take a hit, take a hit
i never wanted to be like this
but when you left me you took my soul
this smoke is all i have left
the haze that i brushed away from you
is surrounding me instead

i reached heaven too early
my peak was long ago
i took a hit of love
and it kept me high for years
but now the smoke has cleared
and i am all alone

before you attempt to date me
i want you to know
that though i may be beautiful
and though i may smile at the right moments,
i am nothing but
someone addicted to love.
and that i can put on a show
that will be given nothing but 10/10
but please remember that that's all it is:
a show.
because there has already been someone
where you want to go
there has been someone
(who is a stranger to you)
who has kissed my scars
and told me he would marry me.
he has made me ***
four times in forty seconds,
but i promise i won't compare.
even if he did wear magnums
and go down on me
every time i asked
(no, i promise i won't compare)
but anyway,
the reason i bring this up
is that nothing you do will be new to me
and you can think you're good
and you can try and change my mind
but you won't.
and i can honestly say that i don't think you'll try all that hard
because i am a sad girl
and boys get tired of those
faster than they'll admit.
(god, do i know)
they would rather date someone
who will give them what they need
and be nice and sweet and lovely
than be with someone like me
who craves love
the way addicts crave
their next pick me up
someone like me
who cuts her skin for fun
just to see the blood
run down my arm
and feel something other than
him.
inside my head
my heart
every part of me
pushing whatever is left of me out
letting him just take over,
****** every thought.
i simply cannot forget
the love that we had
so if you want to date me
go ahead.
but i just want you to know
that it will never just be you and me
no matter what you do
there will always be three.

i fall in love
with people i can't see
i fall in love with the words
that they place inside of me
if you want to taste me
i'll let you take a bite
only if your words
turn me on just right
words make me blush
they make me smile bright
they turn me from an angel
into a **** at night
words stringed together
in the most perfect way
can make me want to marry you
and be yours alone someday
words place themselves inside of me
and they spread from head to toe
when you tell me how i'm perfect
it's hard for me to say no
but trust me when i say
that i believe every phrase
anything you whisper
will leave me latched on for days
your words made me perfect,
in love and quite insane
and ever since you took them back
they've haunted me in their refrain