i remember that you liked dodge
and that you thought my chevy was dumb
but i never really cared about cars
so i never really paid attention
and i think you thought that maybe i didn't care
about what you preferred
i remember that you said that when you were little
you said you wanted to marry the little mermaid
and since i'm not a lot like her
i never really said anything about it
and maybe you thought that
i didn't care
i remember when you said you wanted to travel the world
and join the peace corps for a few months
and it upset me because
i missed you all the time
as it was
and i got more than a little upset
and maybe you thought
that i wanted to control you
i remember when you told me
your dream was to be in a band
but composing would be your back up
and i got so scared
and the fear led to hurt
and anger
maybe you thought that i didn't want you to be happy
maybe you thought that i was trying to turn you into
something you weren't
but i wasn't
i swear
you left to make a life on your own
one that you could be happy with
since you thought i didn't care
about what you wanted
and that i didn't remember
the little things about you
but i do
i want to be your little mermaid
traveling the oceans with you
and the land too
on feet made of gold
while we make music together
with our laughter
you stopped believing in me
thinking that i stopped believing in you
but
i do believe
i do care
i do remember

knives are angry
and they shine
menacingly
guns are loud
and toxic
to society
ropes burn heavily
they snap
and send me tumbling
down to earth
where i no longer want to be.
death is scary
but cliffs are not
mountains
bridges
looking over an endless blue sky
and maybe an ocean or two
majestic and beautiful
free and unafraid
i am not afraid of heights
so when i want to die
i will fly away
in happiness
step off of the ground
containing me
and into the world unknown
into the deep, shining blue
and i will die
unafraid

I'm going shopping
For a boy with a smile
That can melt the ice in me
I'm going shopping
For a boy who can hold
My pain that's grown so heavy
I'm going shopping
And looking all around
For a boy who will pick me up
Whenever I fall down
I'm going shopping
With my big shopping cart
For a boy out there somewhere
Who will take care of my heart

sixteen forever
craving nothing but
skin to skin
mind to mind
heart to heart
staring in your eyes
and seeing forever
seeing nothing but
the sun
craving everything you've never had before
and maybe will never have again
sixteen forever
tearing down your walls
burning all your bridges
and refusing to become what they want
nothing standing in your way
craving love and nothing more
no fear of the future
just fear of the night ending
because when you're sixteen forever
you feel infinity
and your heart smiles
through the tears
because nothing can stand in your way
nothing can hurt you for more than a moment
because you're brave and you're young
and you're free
close your eyes and remember
when you were sixteen forever
your heart is open
your eyes are wide
your light is blinding
and unstoppable
forever is real
forever is now
forever is in your reach
and you take it
unflinchingly
i want to be
sixteen forever.

i'm flirting with a boy
for the sole reason
that i am desperately lonely
and i want the attention
that he is so willing to give me
i'm flirting with a boy
because it makes me feel wanted
and that is a feeling
that you forgot to give me
long ago
i'm flirting with a boy
and i think i'll break his heart
not because i want to
but because you do not want me

i am your *****
and i'm craving you again
you fill me up
until all i can do is cry
and take it
like a good little girl
but isn't the whole point
that i am not a good girl
i am your *****
and we like it that way

make me a ****
**** me up
make me believe
i'm not worth anything
i can be your *****
if you promise not to leave
i'll let you ***
all over me
close your eyes
and it's me you'll see
lying beneath you
while you're crying out
in ecstasy
heaving chest,
naked breast
don't believe in what they say
they don't see what we do in the dark
they don't hear what you ask of me
and they don't see my response
i'll get on my knees
and i'll beg the way you like
you'll never find another *****
like me