As I lay on my bed,
listening
to the rhythmic melody of the rain
dancing my
outside window,
my
mind
wanders through my memories
keeping me from the slumber
I seek during these late hours.
why my mind favors
the sour memories
of betrayal and heartbreak,
of regret and guilt,
I will never understand.
their memories flooding my thoughts,
make rest a foreign concept.
Do I dare speak their names
to break the silence that
imprisons me only to feel
my insides churn and
my heart ache?
why do my dreams
gift me with
glimpse
of
the
future
only
to be kept awake
by the past they've paved?
why, when all I pursue is happiness,
do my thoughts poison me with sadness.
My dreams reveal what is to come
to my unconscious
but not to my conscious.
My mind only lets me feel
the emotions of the future
but keeps from me
what is to happen.
It lets me feel when good will follow
but keeps from me the heartache that
ends it.
Why do my thoughts poison me so?
My thoughts let me fall
for her
and trust her completely
when it was aware
of the Betrayal
that was to end
that happiness?
why do my thoughts poison me so?
My thoughts urged me to leave her,
to feel like leaving
would help me
only
to feel Regret
with my decision,
to feel like
I've made
a mistake,
to be weighed down
with the guilt that I hurt her
and
for nothing
but my
own
misery.
why do my thoughts poison me so?
I know not
why my own mind
is against me
but in its campaign
it has renamed
**Betrayal & Regret