but i might be confusing love for

that brief moment when i wake up before everyone and feel the hum of sleep and the afternoon light hits his cheekbones in such a poetic way that it’s almost silly seeing as how

we crashed on a crusty futon after a night of inebriation, smoke breaks and psychedelic rock.

the thing is:

you put your warm mouth to my ear, thoughtlessly, and said

T’amo.

i’m taking that and pinning in to my

shirt.

one man’s trash might just be a woman’s

treasure.

Puzzled by your too sudden disappearance,
I sat in your dim little room
trying to put the pieces together.
Sifting through the past week
trying to find something strange
you had said.
I kept coming up blank.
After sifting though each conversation twice
I dug deeper into the past.
My memory never did let me down.
Deeper.
Deeper
I kept digging and sifting through
the past 3 weeks of conversations.
Then after sitting for hours
on your made-up bed
it hit me.
In each little coversation
of the weeks,
there was a different flicker in your eye.
A change in your voices tone
and a shift in your body language.
You'd been building up to this.
You had planned it
and I didn't realise.
I should've known.

I then noticed your bed was made
and you never made it
unless you weren't coming back...

You
were in the headlines
of every local newspaper
and on the lips
of every local
evening newsman
just the very next day.

Missing teen found dead at the bottom of a cliff.
Family and friends swamped the lookout earlier today.

They say you fell...
But I know you jumped.

The fleeting fox red and coy
A creature of false unbridled joy
It's legs through dieing leafs do fleet
Behind its face is true deceit
In the light its gleaming ebony eyes
Are filled with truly sinister drives
Almost cheshire is it's smile
A haunting topping to all it's guile

Can you see me?
Gazing up from the ground?
I'm still breathing.
Every breath is harder.
Than the last.
But I'm not stopping now.
Not anytime soon.
My hope is louder.
Than the blows you throw.
A heart can fracture.
It can even break.
But breath keeps breathing.
Long enough to heal.

I wandered the hell's path
I saw its fury
            that burned my life
I felt the flame
            that scorched my heart

I wanted to fight,
But I cannot withstand the pain
              it causes me
I'm just a loser who can't win
              over you

All this time,
           I've suffered too much
And I couldn't bear it
           any longer
I've been living like hell
           with endless agony

I couldn't help
           but scream
The searing pain
          inside my heart
For I'm just a loser who can't win
          over you