In your presence I feel edified  and loved
Something that I've never experienced when I'm with others.

Your love so great
You died for me.
But yet who am I?  
A lowly worthless servant who can't seem to hear your call,
Left aimless treading on this earth.

Blaming you is easy
Scolding you ensures nothing.
Yet,
When I ask of anything
You gladly give.

It's funny how things ended up like this
And hell am I afraid
Of what's about to happen.

I trust in you, knowing you'll guide.
You've never failed me.
You won't.

Your hollow eyes as you walk past

Showed me your heart.

Had something happened?

Or have you gotten sick of me already?

It’s as though someone plucked out your soul, and threw it on the roadside.

It’s just you and your empty body left

Trodding on this cold hard ground.

Time and time again,

I resisted the urge to call out to you, 

To give you a warm smile

To ignite a flame.

Hugs I’ll give if I could

But you’re so unreachable I couldn’t.

(I miss you and your smile. Where are you now?)

Alienated from this world,
It's as though I'm invisible.
Its like... I'm a ghost.

Perhaps I'm dead – or more like an undead.
Consciously breathing,
Yet unconsciously living.

Unachievable demands too plentiful
For bare shoulders (to bear).
Words carelessly strewn
Cuts into the soul
leaving a void.

Countless wanderings,
Trying to find a home.
Yet left stranded alone;
Always on the toe, ready to go.

I need a complimentary ticket
to depart from the mundane
to the destination – into the moment.

I'm  back to where I've started:

Stained Sheets
Scarred Wrists
Silent Breaks
Subtle Hints
Screaming Mind
Shattering Heart
Shoulders Drooping,
                                     from the bar.

And so I've decided to come back to this same old place
For words to play.

The living world with its senseless debates
Brings me down for I have no say.
But in this same old place
My words gets a chance to be said (or read)

I wonder at times in the day
Why humans are so naive
To believe in everything that they've heard or seen
But not what that could be.

In the darkness of void
My mind tends to stray
The words that I kept and did not say
Comes tumbling out before day.

I wish people realized
That Words despite inanimate
Does have its weight.

Not the quiet girl that everyone thinks
My mind has been stormy with endless debate
Ever since I could think.

Basic voicing out of pain
My kind of verbiage,
Written words
I'm not confident of,
Judgement's my greatest fear.

All words conceived
Are perceived
In the very same place.
My words reverberate
But yet unable to reflect to other beings.

Speeches that no one hears
Rough drafts that no one reads.

*It's actually quite loud in my head.