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 Nov 2013 Celeste
AJ
Pizda
 Nov 2013 Celeste
AJ
I drink coffee at Starbucks.
Not because I'm pretentious.
I mean
I am pretentious.
But that is not why I drink Starbucks.
Amazing mathematical concepts
Are just swirling around in my head.
I have to clean.
I have to shower.
I have to do the dishes.
I have to wash my clothes.

Jeszcze ci kutasa w kawałeczki potnę, wiesz, tak jak rzeźnik robi, i ci je do drzwi przybije.

Translate that. It will make you laugh. I promise.
 Nov 2013 Celeste
maybella snow
i want to be pretty          
people always told me
i'm a beautiful person
i'm wonderful              
on the inside

excuse my messed up head
but i wanted to be beautiful
on the outside                                      
so with a blade
slashed across skin
i got my insides
to be outside me
and only then
****** and tired
did i feel pretty
sorry its gruesome but i never said i like my thoughts
 Nov 2013 Celeste
marina
i was not meant to run
through fire or hold
stars in my hands, but
my fingers are calloused
from trying.
 Nov 2013 Celeste
Daniel Magner
Lately I've bumped
a tune with words
that go
"Now thinking hurts
and feeling is worse
I liked reality better
when it was a
dream"
but I think
it's up to me
to work toward
making a dream
out of my
reality
Daniel Magner 2013
 Nov 2013 Celeste
Daniel Magner
Drifted
slipped
fell
from a goal
that could fulfill
my soul
phone call with mom
asked what was wrong
and what course in life
would make me feel
better than alright
before I could think
words formed
"English Teacher"
Daniel Magner 2013

Tears filled my eyes
for awhile now I've felt useless
aimless and wasted
a deadbeat
remembering how I used
to be
Soon I will be applying for
transfer to a four year
university
so I can
teach
 Nov 2013 Celeste
Daniel Magner
If I awoke
one day to find
the past six years
were but a dream
I would rejoice
and change all
the things
I've come to
regret
Daniel Magner 2013
 Nov 2013 Celeste
AJ
I'm Drowning
 Nov 2013 Celeste
AJ
Everything is getting so bad.
I am getting so bad.
It really is and I really am.
I have no motovation.
I just can't do anything.
I binge and I purge.
I'm using a cold blade to make myself burn with scars.
Again.
There is no home for me.
I sleep all day.
I've missed a dangerous amount of classes.
I need a job.
I have yet to process
Major things that are happening.
**** has been continuously hitting the fan
For seven years and
I just can't make it stop
And I can't catch a breath,
And the flashbacks are awful.
I just wrecked my thighs.
I don't want to burden anybody.
I know all I do is complain.
But it is literally me screaming for help.
And no one is helping me.
I'm up to my neck in my own mental disorders.
I'm drowning.
I really ******* am.
I walk around late night hope I'll get killed,
I stare at 163 sleeping pills every night.
I'm all late night binging and purging.
This is the ******* life.
I carry a toothbrush in my purse
And tell people I'm just obsessed with my tooth health.
I smoke to hide the smell of *****.
I'm drowning.
I'm desperate.
I'm drowning.
Why are strangers offering more help
Than the people in real life that I'm begging.
I'm an adult now.
It's no longer the fault
Of the people who raised me.
I have waited for this day to come.
The day where all of the sudden
The blame shifts to you.
I'm still drowning.
I'm dying.
I'm drowning.
I know I should stop cryjng for help
And just get it myself.
But I used up all my strength
I really did.
And I will be perfectly fine
With just dying.
I really would be.
I'm drowning anyway.
Might as well make it literal.
 Nov 2013 Celeste
R
Untitled
 Nov 2013 Celeste
R
i walked into his room
asked if he had a minute to spare
he smiled and said of course
and then suddenly,
i got really nervous.
i started giggling all weirdly and
he started chuckling and asking, "what? what? whats
up?" and i said, "i have a game tonight and i can't play in it,
you should come and watch, you know, to uhh...
support us or something." and he laughed,
asked what time the game was at and said,
"ill be able to make it!" and i smiled so wide,
and i left while saying, "see you later and thank you!"
and he slowly said, "goodbye... goodbye..." all sadly.

don't be sad, i will see you later. we can talk in the stands
and watch the game together.

mhm...
you make my widest dreams come true one day at a time sweetheart.
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