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Carlos Costa Sep 2017
Inconceivable destruction
Hides in the shadow of hope
That it gets better
That it stops

It never does
Don't be fooled
Chaos longs in you
In me
In all of us

It works mysteriously
Immaculately
Inconsistently
Devouring away

It craves the first opportunity
To set aflame
All these miserable sentiments
That falsely accuse destruction
Of destroying
Dismorphing
Disconnecting
All of us

Don't be fooled
It sleeps in you
You are destruction
And I am destruction, too.
Carlos Costa Sep 2017
Here we are again
It's time for me to leave
To leave you
To leave me

It hurts so bad
I can barely feel anything
It's worse this time around
And you are not here to hold me

Hours, days, weeks, months
Time goes by and I miss you more
Every second is painful
I need you close to me

It's that time, once again
For me to pretend I don't cry
At the corner of my room
In the silence of the night

I hate that I have to leave you
I hate that I feel this insatiable pain
That demands your presence
Will you hold me just another second?
Carlos Costa Dec 2016
This is it
I'm no longer able to breathe
I gasp for air as the pain comes flooding in
The razor sharp tears cut through my cheeks as I tremble to get up

This is it
I'm ready to go
You held me up in the sky
Just to let me fall

This is it
You broke me
YOU BROKE ME

You say you love me but all  I feel is
pain
In vain I cry for a better tomorrow that I know won't come

The darkness swallows me whole this time
I can feel it warmly whispering
"It's fine, you'll be fine in here"
I'm not going to fight it this time  

So, please darkness my old friend
Take me away
Comfort me in your warm embrace
And make me feel nothing once again
Carlos Costa Dec 2016
"Let me out", I screamed
Trapped like a wild animal
In what once felt like a dream

What am I to you?
A soulless body you can use?
Please, let me out!

I don't know what else to do
I love you but I'm no longer me
I'm a shattered fragmentation of
Faded emotions, collapsing with each other, in a endless dreadful cry

I've long sunk into the pits of hell
I've been burning for a while now
While you stay there and pretend like it's nothing
"You'll be fine, don't be a drama queen"
I'm sorry if my lungs have failed me and my head has voices whispering for me to end it now
I'm sorry if I can't be enough for to praise about
I'm sorry I'm this utterly broken attempt of a person
But I beg you
Please
*
let me out
Carlos Costa Dec 2016
Here we go again
All that fighting
the constant inconsistency of your words
the do's and dont's that resonate into the void

Here we again*
Another restless night and dreadful morning
the shaking does not stop this time
and neither does the relentless mourning
It pains me being like this
lacking both physical and mental stability
Being dead would be a bliss
In this world full of hostility

— The End —