She has your eyes and smile,
which she hands me softly,
and I take it as we pass,
never glancing back.
I shudder to think
of when you held me,
and feel what I felt then.
I've forgotten
but my body won't.

The two are happy
the way a child's happy
when the air she breathes
is pure love.
Their longing gaze
that tethers souls together
no matter the distance
in time or space.
My heart stops a moment,
because that was us.
I've forgotten,
but my soul won't.

I've forgiven you
and you, me.
The gentile touch,
your loving understanding eyes,
stir up everything within me
before I awake.
I've forgotten,
but my dreams won't.

ingredients:
  - a piece of chocolate,
  - a shooting star,
  - unbridled passion,
  - unbroken hearts,
  - undying love,
  - hopeful ideals,
  - eternity,
      if this is real.

crush into a fine powder,
encase in a dissolving capsule.

take one at the onset of meaninglessness.

the heart aches,
    the pain erodes.
  the joy remains,
       the warmth turns cold.

and then you discover
that what you thought was a panacea
was only an anesthetic.

And there he goes with such determination in his walk, sparkles in his eyes, as he chases after her.

I guess I know the feeling...
Hopelessly falling for someone who'll never catch you, but we comfort ourselves in lies, like
'Next time will be better'
'I'm different now'
But no. It's the same circle over and over.

*Over  and over  and over

Later they say,
Later.
It gets better,
Trust us.

And he didn't text.
He didn't call.
Didn't write 'Happy Birthday!'
On my Facebook wall.

So when I blow out my candles,
There's one wish I must do.
Not to be yours,
But to get over you.

I heard a cry in the night,
A thousand miles it came,
Sharp as a flash of light,
My name, my name!

It was your voice I heard,
You waked and loved me so—
I send you back this word,
I know, I know!

A mother of two
When you arrived I already knew
I would not meet you face to face on this earths crust
Only after my body has been turned to dust
I do not know if you were a boy or a girl
If your hair would be straight or if it would curl
I knew that you were real and very much alive
With every morning sickness that made me want to die
You lived for an estimated 7 weeks
But I only knew you for one
I cried like I never have
More than when I lost my own dad
I begged for forgiveness to my heavenly Father
For killing my son or my daughter
For ripping your seed out of its soil
A seed I knew Id spoil
I cried in my bed with my head in my pillow
I had cried more than a weeping willow
I was asleep when you had exited my womb
Waking up in the recovery room
I was barely awake, still sedated
No longer on this earth, myself I hated
Not wanting be in that clinic, forcing myself up I stumbled out
Driving home all I did was shout
Screaming, crying, the feeling of dying
Vomiting on my front door
Feeling my empty womb to its core
You were gone, no more
I can never bring you back or say sorry enough
Doing what it did wasnt easy but tough
I didnt do it because I wouldnt love you
Only because I already had two
What I did was wrong and I know I am a sinner
You were sent to the womb of a killer


*For those of you who read my poem "I am a Killer", this is what I was talking about. I wasnt ready to share it completely.