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what’s more to life than to feel loved?
what’s more to a partner than his or her hug?
searching for more won’t make you feel satisfied,
when being content with what you already have
in your present life.
you survived too many storms to be bothered by raindrops.
the film plays
a 1950's film
I am lost for a moment;
dancing to the blues and looking into the eyes of a lover -they're grey.
grey eyes. grey skin. grey lips. grey ballroom.
grey. grey. grey. -everything is grey.

But his eyes are a deep grey with light specks,
and the tiles on the floor are patterned with different shades,
and he is dressed with dark grey attire
-but he is the most colourful thing I have ever seen.

In a colourful world you would think things would be complementary;
but the more colourful it appears, the more black and white it is;
the carpet is red, just red, the walls are white, just white,
his eyes are brown. Just brown.
but in this film his eyes are grey -light, grainy, grey.

There's grey in his eyes,
and there's grey all around me,
but my, I seem to have gotten lost;
his eyes are the most colourful things I've ever seen in my life.

the film stops.

(Nicole Joanne) all rights reserved
Winter says why can't I bloom just the same?
Winter feels the rain
just as heavy as a window pane does
Winter waited to be a stemmed rose

Winter had the courage to turn into spring
Winter had succulent lips and smooth edged rims
so drunk on the memory
Winter tasted bittersweet
Ikaw ang kislap
Sa gabing madilim
Nagbibigay liwanag
Sa tuwing ika'y kapiling
Oh isang hiling
Sa maliwanag na ningning
Ng mga bituin
Na ika'y makapiling
Sa mga bawat lambing
you are never able to forget anyone,
you've been with,
and you can never replace anyone,
what is lost is lost.
c a r o l i n e Nov 2023
getting far from the living
yet afraid from my beginnings
i’d like to see myself walk in -
to the future and give a toast to freedom
i know it’s a moment to take in
is this what i was waiting for?

i let it out, but it’s amusing to you
your hope is wanting to gift me to you
i know my faith is strong,
but i’m weak then, allowing myself to -
count back your mistakes,
recount the times and ways i got played
i guess it’s what i paid for
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