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 May 2012 Caroline Stradley
mads
I remember fighting through this blur
just to trace your lips with the lightest touch
afraid to smudge your sweetness with my ***** skin:
i hadn't been clean in months, you never noticed.

And I remember laying on your chest,
your heart beat; the sweetest tune to ever taunt my ears
Turning me insane with rythym
but drifting me away on the softest cloud.

I remember looking into your eyes
It got me high, cheeks turned pink and I'd hide
I tried so hard to not let you see the pain in my eyes
I tried so hard to hide everything.

I remember though, that nothing would compare
to the way candles burnt out that night
or the way your words always seemed so true
so beautiful and pure...
Nothing will ever compare to the way your lies made me feel.
 May 2012 Caroline Stradley
mads
It keeps happening, She keeps putting herself in situations
Where she waits and waits, screaming to herself in her head
Staring into the shine of car headlights and the ripple of bath water
Waiting, waiting, waiting to die.
Screaming for the car to speed up, speed up so much
As she slows her pace walking across the road
Almost talking herself into submerging herself
And resisting the pain of drying lungs just to die.
Turning her back on food but hoping to choke on it
Minipulating blades to caress her fading skin.
It all happens before she even realises shes doing it.
Like her body wants to fly so far off that cliff
Without her mind knowing.
I guess, I guess she just wants to die.
 May 2012 Caroline Stradley
mads
If you could, dear, please take a moment
To open yours eyes and see me for real
See me eroding, losing hair, weight, everything,
Evaporating, atleast take the time to see the blood on the knife
It's only small amounts, but it's there, it's real.
If you could, dear, please take a moment
To piece back together this broken puzzle of a million pieces
Be cautious and make sure every piece fits
And i know you don't want to look me in the eye
Because these tears are clouding my iris
But could you please?
Take my hand and tell me to jump
Or atleast lead me to a fountain of hope
Just stitch me back together I beg you!
I am not whole.
I don't know.
 May 2012 Caroline Stradley
mads
A knife in my throat bleeding out the demons
Oh the mess I've made, oh hush don't scream
It's not painful, don't be scared for me
Is the colour of the blood not fascinating?
As the tiles drown in this liquid
It seems stupid, but oh the happiness thats filled me now,
Escape, escape, escape, that's all I want from this, escape,
Don't hide! Oh please don't run away,
I need you to watch this, the colours, the screams, the blood
I need you to see me set free!
Please stay to watch me levitate.
I don't know.
 May 2012 Caroline Stradley
mads
"Dearest friend, don't do that... you'll die."
"Oh, I'm already dead."
"Speachless but welcome, welcome to my land of the living dead."
"Darling, I know this place well, no need for introductions."
"I... I am the owner of this cemetery..."
*"Oh, sweet friend, stop. We need none of this.
My darling, we'll rot together."
 May 2012 Caroline Stradley
mads
Look, look 
This is her tray, her tray of ash 
These here... They're her empty bottles of Jack 
Over there is where she keeps the condoms.
Stash of **** between the books. 
If you look closely at the carpet you can see dried *****. 
White walls are now stained yellow, 
Too many drunken gatherings. 
But she's so young inside. 
Mind of a ten year old
With a body of a sixteen yer old woman. 
Don't look now, but she's preparing herself to talk
In her ditsy fake tone. 
"I am like, so white trash. Do you love me yet?"
Twirling bleached blonde hair
pouting those lipstick drowned
And collogen inflamed lips. 
Seeing this ***** in her natural habitat
Makes me wonder where her parents went wrong.
I'm not sure about this one.
 May 2012 Caroline Stradley
mads
We're all watching you walk
walk away from us all.
Where are you going?

Street lamps shatter and your feet kiss the glass shards
but you don't bleed, minipulate your mouth into smug smiles
Miles, miles, miles, miles.
Watch your step theres a bump in the road.
There's no time to smell the daisies,
there's no time to turn your head
Just smile and walk, miles, miles, miles,
Glass eyes don't cry and neither do yours.
Would one be game enough to ask,
where are you going?

The pier, a long walk on a short pier
or a short walk to a long pier?
Stumble on loose nails and skim your worries across the water
that tortured mind is occupied.

I say, my dear, what a lovely day you've chosen
What a lovely day it's chosen for you to walk
The sun is shining, clouds gathering upon the horizon
The grass is green and stale Rome air never smelt so sweet.

Oh god, Rosa! Your foot nearly slipped!
Darling girl, the end of the pier is rotting, watch your step.
Stumbling and your eyes! they're so, so red.
Rosa, can you hear us?
"αυτό είναι δικό μου χοίρων"
You're lucky the priests aren't here demon,
Rosa, demon, you're skitterish and talking nonsense.
Are you ready to jump?
When a human is believed to be possessed by an demon/s they are known to speak in different languages.
'αυτό είναι δικό μου χοίρων', is Greek for "this pig is mine", which is being said by the demon inside 'Rosa'.
if knowing everything
is key

having nothing left to learn
is the fastest way to
enlightenment
 May 2012 Caroline Stradley
Ray
I want to slip back into old habits
Take the razor blade and dig for a vein
Or maybe the white of my bones
I want to search for myself in there
In the blood and tissue matter
Past the scarred mess he left
Try and find out what makes me tick
Heart or head
Which comes first
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