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 May 2012 Caroline Stradley
Conor
Face-paint and a checklist set,
Routine tricks and heart that beats.
Innocence pleased and wonder shared,
With coupled hands and vision blurred.

Coloured fortune masquerades,
As crinkled eyes remember well.
Lithesome youth brings light to shade,
Stifles dark and empty days.
                                        
Box and hats exaggerate,
Buttons broken call to mind.
Praise for present details found,
In simple cues and objects round.

Silence weeps in lonesome ease,
Of home and tears that shed.
Weary in his aging skin,
His mind will rest free of sin.
 May 2012 Caroline Stradley
JL
Perfect night
Your skin like crystal
Under red blue green Roman candle lights
Bursting spark where it once was dark
Forget about the other day
That life you left is far away
Your words feel real now as if they hold some weight
Floating off like smoke to an empty space
 May 2012 Caroline Stradley
Ray
Here I am
Trying hard to see the bottom of this hole
but the light was turned off many years ago
And I fear that maybe I will die alone

Here I am
Frantically praying to a god that isn’t there
hoping someone will turn and say ‘I care’
but no one will, they just laugh and stare

Here I am
Desperately seeking an escape from this
but down I fall into the dark abyss
It’s sad to know I won’t be missed

Here I am
Bullet through my heart and out my back
Noose is wrapped tightly round my neck
Pills are downed until I feel a bit sick

I'm no longer here
do you have any regrets?
 May 2012 Caroline Stradley
JL
He came as a young man in a plain black suit
In the dead night how heels clicked on the side walk
In my bed I awake at someone slamming at the door
How the vibrations through the wall awakens every board
The shotgun loaded in the closet
That rests cold and heavy against my leg
I look through the peephole
 May 2012 Caroline Stradley
mads
X
 May 2012 Caroline Stradley
mads
X
Don't look at me like that
you know your eyes are venom
they tear and rot my flesh

But I know you never looked at me
it was always through me
like I didn't exist.

It's okay, though
I always enjoyed burning in your stare
constantly alight.

You always saw me, but I was never there
I was never there.

You saw the fire tears falling
from my bloodshot eyes

You know I'm hurt.
What are you going to do about it?

There's no bandages
creams or ointments
that are going stop the pain

There's only you
and you've already walked away.
i don't know.
 May 2012 Caroline Stradley
mads
She sat on the tiles that night,
sheilding bruised ribs with crossed arms,
aquainting herself with the inside of the bowl,
throwing up all the pain and thoughts.

Something got caught in her throat though,
did you get stuck there?
(was is the coals of the fire
you started inside her?
You let it die, it died out)
maybe she wasn't ready to let that memory go yet,

Coughing, heaving, spluttering, hurting, crying,
but the bathroom was so quiet, tiled walls too protecting,
she kept her silence that night as she died, with memories of you.
I don't know.
 May 2012 Caroline Stradley
mads
Don't ever slay that mighty dragon
It's wings will crush you with the slightest movement 
And it's firey breath will curl around your head. 
You will not win. 

Do nibble on the magic fungi 
It'll show you the unimaginable to dream upon 
And you'll find yourself in a fairytale with the pixies. 

Don't plant those beans
The ones in which you gave a cow for. 
The castle at the top of the stalk
Is not worth your time. 

Do burn the witch, not for all the wrong reasons. 
Let her teach you her black magic ways 
And if she decides to turn against you
Then you have every right to lead her to the stake in chains. 

Black cats are not bad luck. 
If they're nice, they're your friend
Otherwise throw them under the ladder
Or into a mirror. 

The beast is not always a prince under the witches spell. 
Sometimes, he's just a ******* creep. 

The knight in shining armor
Is just a suit against a wall in the castle hallway. 

The wolf is not always there for the baked goods in the straw basket. 
He wants more, your virginity maybe?
He'll steal all he can take which is everything. 

No ***** is ever as pretty as those princesses or damsels in distress. 
Most have the face of the witch
With the mask of a beauty.
 May 2012 Caroline Stradley
mads
Where were you when the sky was falling?
Where were you when the ground opened up
And took me?

Do you ever question your absence
And why you never saw me smile?

Oh, Daddy, dear
You were walking with the beast
When the beauty needed you here.

You could've stopped me from hating you
Before I learnt the meaning of hate and the things you did.

But the front door seemed more appealing
And I'm sorry it did.
You kept walking. You're leaving, you're leaving-
Oh, hell. I blinked and now you're gone.

7, 8, 9... How many years is it now?
Can you count your length of absence to the day?
Or were you too stupid to know what number came next
after day one?

I've thought about meeting you again.
And I've thought of all the reasons you'd come.
You'd only show, just to tell child services
That you know my ******* name
And the colour of my hair-
It's dyed bright red, not that you care.

Then, I thought of all the reasons you wouldn't be there.
You can't remember my existance.
I'm not worth your time.
You're too lazy to even flinch
Or move a finger or blink
To bother with your child.
I'll stop this list now, before it takes away all my ink.

Mother was always right.
Did it hurt when you'd call me? I was only aged four
I'd run away from Mum when she tried to pass me the telephone.

All the time, I see girls who whinge about their father's
And I'd look at the good relationships they have
And feel ill in the stomach with a lump in my throat
To know I've never known what it's like
To not have a deadbeat father.
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