carmen: Favorites

Jan 2014 carmen

Harry J Baxter

The flavor of my youth
was skateboards and punk rock
heavy metal and mischief
walking through Cary town
with pockets full of change
and crushed singles
sodas in hand
and skateboards under the other arm
in the gated community we lived in
we would find the houses
where we knew the owners were away on vacation
and we took to the stairs on four wheels
to glide through the air like arrows shot from some towering bow
made of concrete and asphalt
and we went to shows in the city
dressed in the armor of wristbands, ripped jeans, and faded band shirts
drunk on our parents’ beer and skunk ****
drunk on the promise of a night open to any footfall we chose
and we jumped up and down in mosh pits
just trying to feel anything real
anything which tasted like living
we stalked from house to house cloaked in the witching hour
and pillaged our knick knacks from the garages of neighbors we never knew
padded fingertips pressing against doorbells
1...2...3…
now run
we didn’t have time for school
or the teachers trying to bring us down
but we always had time to trek through the woods with a bowl
smoking **** until we got to the mall
where we ******* around until mall security chased us out
we did not always make the greatest decisions
but I am **** glad I made them

Jan 2014 carmen

Legacy

Jan 2014 carmen

Muggle Ginger

Legacy

I will die.

In order to authentically die, you must live authentically. Some live so casually that death is not their end. They fade. They leave. Death must be an honor, not a fate.

My life will be proof in my death.

I loved my family first. I allowed them to continually conquer my heart and time. My affections were used on them and not the things my coffin refuses to contain.

The opportunities we are granted will be on our last breath. Confirming we were successful at taking them, or full of regret and bitterness.

There is no need for resolutions or bucket lists. Today is my life. I plan to make it count. God and I are the only mathematicians to this equation.

Our life is amplified by our death.

If an artist wants to make money, they best thing they can do is die. (Jackson, Shakur, Leonardo, Twain, Lewis, etc.)

I am not particularly excited for death. I am not morbid. But if I have to go through it, I’ll make my life worth it.

Jan 2014 carmen

Secrets

Jan 2014 carmen

Jude

Secrets

I remember the pain
and remember the tears
that evil man caused me
for all those years

I remember the hurt
I remember his hands
as he whispered
and I followed demands

I closed my eyes
as I fought away tears
I laid still and kept quiet
for all those years

He loves me, I know it,
this couldn't be bad
He took full advantage
of the trust I had

I kept all our secrets,
I had no choice
He'd ripped open my chest
and stolen my voice

I was reminded again
after every assault
that what happened
was conpletely my fault

I had been bad,
had misbehaved
from the wrath of my mother
I was being saved

He tried to tell me
she was evil and mean
But the real devil,
I had already seen

His lies never fooled me,
with mom I was safe
She was my only hope
and my only escape

Jan 2014 carmen

Pretending

Jan 2014 carmen

Emily

Pretending

I like to pretend that I have a tough exterior
That my mind is strong
And that the words and actions of others
Don't bring me down
But that couldn't be further from the truth
I'm so weak
I'm pathetic
It takes seconds
No time at all
For my mind to transport me to a place
A place where I think I'm hated
A place where I believe I'm unwanted
I'm so vulnerable at all times
When one little thing doesn't go as I expected
I freak out
I assume the worst
I make up hypothetical situations in my head
Situations in which nobody loves me
And nobody cares for me
Situations in which I'm ignored with ease
And forgotten quickly
It probably sounds selfish
As if I solely care about what people think of me
But in actuality
It stems from a deep self hatred
I hate myself in such a way
That I couldn't possibly imagine a world
Where people could genuinely love me and care for me
It's no wonder my relationships fail
With not only lovers
But with family and friends as well

Jan 2014 carmen

trust

Jan 2014 carmen

RA

trust

Why would you
do that why
would you say
you trust me
and then fall
on my sword, burying
the cold steel to the hilt
in your warm flesh. Maybe
you trust me, but
I don't think I ever
can trust myself again
with you.

January 25, 2014
edited January 29, 2014

#panickattackpoems

Jan 2014 carmen

The Hill Overlooking the World

Jan 2014 carmen

J Hov

The Hill Overlooking the World

I go back to that precious place on the lake
The hill overlooking the world

A tranquil perspective
Where peace of mind can be secured

But we cannot sit here forever

No matter how hard we try
We always have to descend back down
To a world full of angst

A world congested with immoral moral compasses

But even just a few hours spent
With a view such as this, I wonder....

That maybe.....

Just maybe...........

We are closer to heaven than we recognize
With the sun setting behind the rolling hill
And silhouettes lengthening behind us

Looking into the ideal
At the mouth of this cave
We unearth what is real…

Subjects still imprisoned by their own ignorance
With the glimmering warmth of a fictitious blaze
From the deceptive flames of a fabricated fire
Faintly whispering up against their backs

The puppeteers' handiwork betrays them
Splattering superficial illusions
Along a dull ill-defined canvas

Becoming aware of their elusive scheme
We broke from the inhibiting chains

Liberating our confiscated minds
We deplored the fraudulent portrayals on the wall

Abandoning these projected shadows
We emerged from this somber fallacy

Bringing to light
A consequential validity....

Mind over matter,
A beautiful reality
A breathtaking ideal

Scatter the truth and let it unfurl
Climb towards the sun
On top of the hill overlooking the world

Inspired and influenced by Plato's Cave allegory. If you know Plato's Cave allegory I think this poem would make a lot more sense. Let me know what ya think.

Jan 2014 carmen

in the pouring rain

Jan 2014 carmen

mark john junor

in the pouring rain

the radio has a voice
its loud in my mind
its as bright as sunshine
it talks to me personally
it has a voice that sees right through me
it knows what's happenin
and it knows that im spinning at the center of the world
i am the center of the universe
she can see it
i can feel it
its bright as sunshine
its warm as hands

hands that pulled me from the water so deep
i was down there listening
to the world get small
to the sound of my dying
its a glass eye
in the world
its as bright as sunshine
it makes me dance with no music on cobblestone
it makes smiles painted feel real
she sees it
she sees me
and its loud in my mind
i can do anything

real i tell you
here in my corduroy jacket pocket
i look so joe college
cause its fast as light
cause its smiling in my mind
like madness
she can see it
i can feel it
its bright as sunshine
its warm as hands
as she walked away
in the pouring rain

Jan 2014 carmen

Words

Jan 2014 carmen

Steve D'Beard

Words

Words create wonderful moments
and destroy the things we cherish

Words create unions in adversity
and describe the things we relish

Words define actions made in jest
and crush the spirit of possibility

Words are a brutal stab to the chest
and the drowning of its immensity

The step back into the gloom
via the perpetual rejection

and the windows
with no rooms

Jan 2014 carmen

Parents

Jan 2014 carmen

Steve D'Beard

Parents

Your parents are....

The Most Awesome
people you have ever
actually ever known
right now
In your world

on the Earth
as we know it -

Parents hung on,
made do,
but hung on

Kept up hope,
The living
The one-time
They out lived

1000s of years of evolution,

war
and
resolution

The lineage
of
The Earth

if they're still going;
Why aren't you?

Breed or be Bred
Automatons
Animations

the forgotten spark

You are
what
You are

Just...

don't forget
where you came from