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Jude Jan 2014
Many hurt people
have slowly built a wall. 
Mine has a moat around it
and stands 90 feet tall

Each brick is a lesson
I learned the hard way
The moat I just keep there,
to scare others away 

I don't mind living here,
I am never alone.
I have all my music
& my dragon named Stone

Stone laughs at all my jokes
& accepts all my flaws
He gently wipes my tears
with his clumsy dragon paws

Stone understands me
more than I do myself
I'm always trying to find me
through all the books on my shelf 

Sometimes I want to leave this place 
but I forgot to build a door 
So together me and Stone 
go above the clouds & soar

It's nice up there,
I feel so free
Nothing to hide
my silly friend & me

Maybe someday I'll leave 
my little sanctuary
Maybe I'll find some courage, 
but I tend to believe the contrary
Jude Jan 2014
No more sadness
no more fear,
I'm going to sail
away from here.

I've waited long enough,
the time has come
for me to stop
feeling numb

I leave the harbor,
& begin to feel!
first breeze through my hair,
it fills my sail

The sun warms my face
& then my breast,
the familiar weight is taken
from my chest

Out here,
I am finally free
nothing is holding me back
& I can just breathe
Jude Jan 2014
I remember the pain
and remember the tears
that evil man caused me
for all those years

I remember the hurt
I remember his hands
as he whispered 
and I followed demands

I closed my eyes 
as I fought away tears
I laid still and kept quiet
for all those years

He loves me, I know it,
this couldn't be bad
He took full advantage 
of the trust I had

I kept all our secrets,
I had no choice
He'd ripped open my chest
and stolen my voice

I was reminded again
after every assault
that what happened
was conpletely my fault

I had been bad,
had misbehaved
from the wrath of my mother
I was being saved

He tried to tell me
she was evil and mean 
But the real devil, 
I had already seen

His lies never fooled me,
with mom I was safe
She was my only hope
and my only escape
Jude Jan 2014
Protected and sheltered me
From the 'evils of the world'
Seemed like the perfect father
To your little girl

Told me you loved me
Sang me silly songs
Gave me hugs and kisses
Made me feel like I belonged

By day, the perfect father
A hero a man of god 
Kind wise and thoughtful
But it was only a facade

The role playing always stopped 
As darkness grew near
Then emerged the man
I'd slowly learned to fear

At night the costume was removed
His true colors again revealed 
Now one could plainly see 
The monster he'd kept concealed

His soft face turned hard
Eyes dark and empty
I tried not to fear
As he looked at me

I knew what would happen
It was out of my control 
So I laid still
And tried to calm my soul

Try as I might
I could not hide my fears
My shaking and deep breathing 
Slowly turned to tears

I knew it was useless
My tears would not change a thing
But I couldn't hold them back
After so many days of hiding

I tried to understand 
It was his way of 'showing love'
I prayed and asked for comfort
From my father above

I cried out to the Lord
But received no reply
I came to understand that
On him I could not rely

I was in this alone
No one by my side
I had to keep it a secret
To no one would I confide

— The End —