So many things I want to say
He doesn't want to hear
He's miles and miles away from me
But I really need him near.
I see him for who I want him to be,
He sees me for who I am.
So that, of course explains why
He doesn't give a ****.
So many things I wish I'd said
That may have made it right,
But the things that I did say are why,
I cannot sleep at night.
So many things that I regret,
And things he'll never know
So many things I have to hide,
Things I'll never show.
*And it's killing me inside

I've learned to love, at least, three things
God, myself, and my kin.
But I have grown to love so much more
To laugh, to learn, to sin.
I laugh with my friends
I learn from the best
I sin by mistake
And I love all the rest.
I laugh at my struggles
I learn from them too
I sin for myself
But my love is for you.

It's been two days
And it feels like forever
Like I've never even talked to him
Like we've never been together.
It's been 48 hours
And it feels like a year
Or like it's all been a dream
Like he's never been here.
It’s been two days
And it feels like so much more.
Like decades or centuries
Since he walked out the door.

*and I miss him like hell

Sometimes you hide your wings
Sometimes you let them show
But I can always see

How beautiful you are
Even without your wings you glow
You're beautiful to me.

I know it’s pathetic
Can’t do anything right.
I know that it’s stupid
But I still try to fight.
I let my walls down
I let myself break
I hide behind confidence
But I’m only a fake.
She’ll always win.
and I’ll always fail
In this war of the darkness
She’ll always prevail

I was just a person 'til you came along
I was just a little girl who couldn't tell right from wrong
I was not a warrior; I was weak
And I thank you in advance
For the next time that we meet

You are goodbye
I am hello
So I'll close my eyes
For I can't watch you go

Even as I blink
You're farther away
I see your image shrink
And I'm not okay

I burn inside of my mind
I ache inside of my heart
Tears bleed down from my eyes
My hands tremble
I bite my lip
My face goes red
*When I look at you

Okay. I’m done,
My final word
Until I can fly free,
On the wings of a bird
I’m done with the madness
The pity, The pain
I’m done with the crying
This sorrowful rain.
But most of all, I’m done with you
And hanging on
To your words that aren’t true.
I’m done

Goodbye. The word that pains me so.
Because it tells me that I must let go.
But he'll never know...
Because my feelings will never show.

I'm just afraid that your vision is blurred
From the idea that I am exactly like her
You tell me I'm pretty
But are you talking about me?
When you imagine my face
Who do you see?
Your intentions are good
But you come across rotten
Do you know who I am
Or have you forgotten?

When what you thought you knew goes totally wrong
When you’ve been kicked out of where you think you belong
When you’re hurting inside and tearing apart...
You turn to your heart.
But when you look inside and find it’s not here,
You look for the one, not knowing he’s not near.
When you turn out dumb when you thought you were smart...
You look for a heart.
But when that heart beats black,
there’s no turning back
Maybe I’m state of the art
But I haven’t a heart.

I won’t wait around
I’m not waiting anymore
So I’ll tighten my laces
And stomp out the door.
I’ll make a big scene
So maybe, you’ll see
That I’m getting over it
Now you get over me
I’m done with this madness
I want it all to end
But I won’t give up
I won’t just be your friend

I dream with open eyes
And I cry with silent tears
I try with all my might
But I can't contain the fears.
I hide but no one searches
I fly with frozen wings
I hide away from the happy
But stand up to awful things.
I bleed a different color
A rainbow of deadly pain
I walk on whirling waters
But still cry like the rain.

Just one thing that holds me back from the fun
the darkness I see when I look at the sun.
The biggest mistake among a ton,
Why it’s happened to me. A million to one.
Back in time I wish I could go,
I could take the heat, trudge through the snow
I wish I knew, oh ever so
If you find out, please, let me know

Ugh, I just don't know what to do anymore...
Boom.

The worst of the best
Like a curse that’s been blessed
Better than better
But all I am is just.
Just okay
Just average
But better than good
But if I could be better
I always would.
I wish I could be
As good as you are
And I can’t just face it
You are a star
*And I’m still just okay

I know that you’re right,
We can only be friends
But it’s still not over
It still never ends.
I know that it’s wrong,
falling so hard for you
Because I can’t stop thinking
about what used to be true.
I shouldn’t be hurting
After all, you are right
Then why is it me,
sitting up late at night?
Crying my eyes out
It’s not the answer, but I need to.
Going through hell,
Because, really, I need you.

Forever is a long, long time
But if I were with you I think I'd be fine
Forever is whatever you want it to be
So tell me, will you spend forever with me?

It’s all getting dull
And boring and old
And I remember you held my hand in the cold
Where did it go?
The fun way back when
But now it’s the same thing again and again
I say “Hey there”
And you say “Hello”
Where is the depth?
Where did it go?
You fixed all my problems,
and I made you laugh
But where has it gone? What’s happened to that?
I miss who you were
I’m done with the now
I want to go back. I want to, but how?

I could write you a sonnet
An epic in length
I could paint you a picture
With an acre's worth of paint
But to write you a sonnet
I'd need to confess
A love for you, darling
That I cannot express
I could write you a sonnet
But would you even read
My letter to you
In my time of need?

*This time I need you

She can't find the fire to fight
She can't find the love in her heart
She cannot win the battle
She's been fighting from the start

Help me
Engage me
Love me
P**lease

All of the pain
at the last minute
life is a game
and we cannot win it
Forced into playing
Pulled by the wrist
Thrown into a battle
To fight with our fists
Like life is this torture
Like we're beaten with truth
Torn into pieces
Ever since youth
And now we're stuck in this game
So we might as well play
And maybe eventually
We'll be okay.

For one day
I want you to see past
The size of my jeans
The size of my ***
For one day
I want to stop caring
about the way that I look
Or the clothes that I'm wearing
For one day
I want you to get
That the way that you are
Makes me so upset
But from that day on
I want you to see
Who I really am
Not who you want me to be

Nothing's wrong
Nothing's wrong
Everything is fine
It's the same **** answer
Every
*******
Time

You taught me how to love
You made me feel like flying
You have raised me up
When I was on the verge of crying

You taught me how to love
When all I knew was hate
You taught me out to feel
Happiness, not ache

I couldn't ask for more
For *you taught me how to love
I couldn't thank you more
But thanks will never be enough.

My heart is beating at the speed of sound.
Pulsating quickly, never slowing down.
My mind is spinning like a threat of death,
As my heart slowly beats 'til it escapes from my chest.
My heart has taken control of my brain,
A feeling that I simply cannot explain.

*but still I can't complain

I've always had four words I wanted to here
but now "I love you too" is my biggest fear

I don't even know what to feel anymore
I've slammed it closed, my open door
But I don't want to fill that void
I guess it's best that I'd just avoid
Every feeling I've ever felt.

he doesn't understand my plain english.
He doesn't understand my clear pain.
He just moves on,
to somebody else,
while I sit and cry like the rain.
Just because he wants it,
I don't want it to end.
I lose someone that I care for...
because he doesn't know
*what it means to be a friend

In my mind you’re perfect
In my fantasy
I am always smiling
You’re holding hands with me
In my mind you’re here
Just two feet away
Staring into my eyes
We went back in time to that day
In my mind you’re single
Free to be the one
But in reality there’s darkness
Days there should be sun.

Gone with my sanity
The love that we had
Out with the good
In with the bad
Something has gone
Someone has bled
Someone's alive
And I'm the one dead.

I don’t know what love is
But my heart says it’s this
My heart says it’s not wrong
But my head says it is.
I can’t help falling
Completely in love
Because you’re the only one
I ever think of
When I see you
There’s no one else I see
If only you’d fall
In love with me

I'll show them respect and I'll do the right thing.
Words of good spirit, I promise I'll bring.
I'll do the good deeds you can no longer do.
I'll be a good person and I'll do it for you.

I love what I do
But the things I don't do
Seem more important than the rest.
I love sleeping and writing and listening to music
And I love doing my best
But when my best has been done
When it's not enough
I don't pass the test
I cry in a ball and I want to start over
Doing my best

We are nothing but a lie
You and I
Falling out of touch
We are nothing but fake
As my heart breaks
I still love you so much
So don't ever let go
I want you to know
That I love you
But we are nothing but a lie
You and I
Will never be true.

Cold silence shatters
Awaken the shrill voices
Of minds in the night

As I float away
Into a dream I drift
Imagining life
If you didn't exist
And I wonder, I wonder
If my world would fall apart
Or if my spirit would go on
Without this broken heart

He never even said goodbye,
Gone with the wind so thin
I never even stopped to think,
what it would be like without him.
He never even said he’d go.
Left with such a bitter surprise.
I never even stopped to stare
into his icy blue eyes.
He never even said it back,
never told me he loved me too,
I never even backed away
From all the crap he put me through.
*And now he’s gone.

Thinking of you as my savior, my hero.
Making it true is dividing by zero.

Error.

Build a bridge
Get over it
It's your life
Take hold of it

Nothing glitters
Nothing's gold
But it's your life
And it's yours to hold.

So polish it well
So that it will glisten
Tell your story
No matter who listens

For it's your story
It's yours to be told
'Cause it's your story
And it's yours to hold.

You say that it's natural
Everyone feels this way
But then why do I feel
Like I'm alone everyday?
I walk like I'm confident
Wondering if they see through
The mask that covers me
The show I put on for you
But that mask slowly fades
And I set myself free
Maybe it's better
Just being me.

Dragged by the ankles and kicked while I'm down

Falling
           and
                Falling
                          and
                               Drowning
                                               by
                                                 now

Pushed me into the water, the lava, the hell

Pushing
             and
                  Pushing
                              and
                                   Killing
                                           Myself

Saved by an angel whose touch is a curse

Why
   Couldn't
                They
                        Just
                             ****
                                   Me
                                       First?

If I could say another word
To tell him how I feel
One more word to let him know,
then maybe we could heal
But if I tried to say something
I know he’d turn away
He’d never want to talk to me
And there’s nothing I can say

I don't know if it's strength or weakness that keeps me fighting
I just know there's a fire that's slowly igniting

But deep in the winter it's gone with the wind
What will I do when the lighting is dim?

Please don't turn out the light.

I peer through the fingers
Covering my eyes
Can’t let you see me crying
But still I can’t disguise
The emotional pain
You’ve bestowed upon me
The emotional agony
That I can’t let you see
Because what you don’t know won’t hurt you
But what you do know will
I know you deserve it
But I can’t let you, still.

Tell it to the world,
so what if no one hears?
Shout it out so all the words will slowly disappear.
Don’t you worry,
you are so near!
don’t you hurry
you’re almost here!
waiting for something
that doesn’t exist.
Asking question without answers,
like why, and what if?
Here is your answer
why do you care?
If you don’t let it go
you will end up in despair.