Leaving it off
Until there's no time left
And I'm just out of luck
Second guessing
Always wrong
I'm just giving up
People tell me I should try
But I don't give a ****
Because honestly they just don't know
That I really am
I try to try but I don't succeed
All I ever do is fail
But I can't tell the future
Maybe I'll prevail.

I could write a hundred poems
About the way I feel
I could write about my heart
How it will never heal.
I could write a hundred poems
Waiting for your love
I could write a hundred poems
About what I’m thinking of
I could write a hundred poems
Waiting for the sun
I wrote a hundred poems
And this is 101

Why am I the one
Always left behind?
Everyone understands
While I just rack my mind
Searching for the answers
I just don't have a clue
You're always in the loop
I'm always behind you

Trying to sleep,
Really, I'm trying
But thinking of you
I can't help crying
Losing the only thing I knew
But I'll never stop
Thinking of you

Some people seek their solace in a bottle of ***
Some people wait for happiness that surely won't come
Some people find their destiny just wandering down
A road of broken promises where loneliness is found

But they find it
They find comforting sorrow
They find 'em
Finding lost tomorrows

Love
I need to forget it
It's just a mythical thing
So complicated, I don't get it
Is it really real?
A thing of the heart?
Or has it all been our brains
Right from the start
After all the heart's just a blood pumping *****
But we blame it for our emotions again and again
But we're the ones to blame

When the moon shines bright,
but the smoke blows black,
once it all fades to white,
you can never go back.
So hold your head high,
on the dark summer night,
and you can learn why the world,
tries to put up a fight.
Nothing to think of and nothing to say,
No way to discover, to find my way.
Someone find me, save the day
A soulless body, like made of clay
I see the pathway in my mind
No way out just looking behind
the first step is for you
the first leap is mine

What is a kiss?
A display of affection?
Or the combination lock
Of a solid connection?
If you'll give me your combo
I'll give you mine
An everlasting bond
Frozen in time

There’s a dead end at the end of the road
Where I go on my own to silently implode.
Where I lay on my back in the shade of a tree
Where I set my mind on fire and I set myself free.
Lightning strikes and thunder booms,
I lay in the rain, at my *dead end of doom.

A Wish
A Dream
A Yell
A Scream
A Love
The One
I Thought
It Seemed
Like You
May be
In Love
With Me
A Wish
A Dream
A Yell
A Scream

"All is fair in love and war"
But nothing is fair in life anymore
If this is love then the saying's untrue
Because it's so unfair that I'm stuck loving you

I just can’t make it right
So everything is wrong.
Fine.
I just can’t fix the pain
So everything hurts.
Fine.
All you bring is problems
And nothing is ever solved
Fine.
I just can’t mend my broken heart
No one can make the pain go away
Fine.
But I won’t let you make it worse
I won’t let you hurt me again.
Not Fine.

I can't tell what will come next
In the next month, year, or week
I can only recall the past
For tomorrows are all unique

I can't tell you what mistakes I'll make
What obstacles I'll face,
What risks I'll take

I can only learn from those moments that have past
Those slow and those fast
And I can't make them last

I can't tell what will come next
Can't say if it's wrong or right
But I can tell you here and now
I'm living in the moment tonight

If I could reach 600 miles
Reel you in and see your smiles
I'd reach out toward you, miles and miles away
And pull you in close to me and say:
"I would reach 600 miles
To have you here with me."

Confession
Digression
Praying for resurrection
Another life
Another strife
That can't be worse that these stabbing knifes
Of your words
Absurd
When will it fall down, my world?
Been scared
Unprepared
How much longer 'til I'm spared?
Going bad
Increasingly sad
Can I feel that life I once had?

Love is not a story it's a song.
You put it on repeat and play it all night long.
Love is not a fairy tale, not prose
Love's a melody and this is how it goes.

*I love you

Left out
Like I’m not even here
Like I’m a million miles away
But they know I’m so near
Left out
Like they don’t even care
They’re right in front of my eyes
But it’s like I’m not even there
Left out*
And they don’t even know
I want to walk away
but I just can’t let go.

What is the object of these games that we play?
What are we trying to get?
Why do we do what we do all the time,
When all it ever does is upset?
Why do we follow this one way road?
The elevator that only goes down?
Why do we do what we do all the time,
When all it ever brings is a frown?
Why do we stay when there's a long road ahead?
Why do we follow this never-ending spiral?
Why do we hide from the world around us?
Why don't we let it out, make it viral?
Why do we follow this one way road?
Because we have nothing to lose.

I’m almost there
I’m moving on
It’s time I let
Your memory will be gone
I’m tired of waiting
I’m getting rid
Of your haunting memory
And goodbye I will bid
*Goodbye.

Give me an explanation
But don't tell me how I feel
Tell me that you love me
I already know what's real
Tell me who you are
I know who I am
You try and try to get it
But you'll never understand
I don't need someone
To give me definitions
As I travel along
On this crooked expedition

I miss you,
and you don't even know.
I miss you,
and I can't let it show.
How I miss you,
how much I miss you so.
I miss you,
and you will never know.

Sometimes I think there's a thought bubble chasing me
Following me all around.
Sometimes I think there's a ghost that is haunting me
Running me into the ground.
Sometimes I fake that there's no paranoia
That I haven't yet gone insane
But always I know that something is killing me
Eating me alive through my brain.
Sometimes I believe I'm a zombie
A zombie of the shadow of your heart.
Sometimes I fall into your eyes
And it's tearing me slowly apart.

I hang onto the pieces
Those of what used to be
A relic of the romance
You used to share with me
I hold on to the pictures
Memories of what we had
And thoughts of what could be
That only make me sad
I hold on to the pieces
Because I think I must
Waiting for the relics
To slowly fade to dust

I didn't document today
For it didn't really matter
I suppose that it's always the same
Yawning, crying, laughter.

I didn't document today
For nothing really changed
It's always mild or milder
And it remains within that range

I didn't document today
Maybe, I just forgot
But the monotony is drowning me
And happy, I am not.

When poems aren’t poetic
And words become pathetic
And the world is filled with doubt,
The sun begins to fade
and the moon begins to wane
And darkness grows throughout.
That’s the day the world ends.
When art just isn’t art
It slowly kills our hearts
And the world is filled with hate.
The world’s canvas is full
and the colors all grow dull
And there is no more room for paint
That’s the day the world ends
When songs just aren’t sung,
And all the expression is done
And there isn’t time for song,
The life starts to decline
And you just cannot rewind
Everything is wrong.
*That’s the day the world ends

I look at you
And I don't know which way is up
I stare deep in your eyes
And I'm just out of luck
I look at you
And I dunno what's real
I'm blind and clueless
To what it is that I feel
I look at you
and my voice goes off key
I look at you
But you don't look at me

It's all the same I guess
There's a minute to breathe and a second to rest
It's all the same to me
There's nothing to do and there's no one to be
It's all the same in here
Where is the love and where is the fear
Monotonous life's a test
But it's all the same I guess

I'm loud because I'm passionate.
I'm loud because I care.
I'm loud because I'm hurting
Accept that.

I'm loud because I want to get it
I want to feel important sometimes.
And if you don't want to hear it
Leave.

Felt like a slap across the head
alive but still dead.
another fork in the road brings another knife in my back.
Taking the wrong path ends in heart attack
The slow crash of speeding cars.
a reach so close but yet so far.
another broken-hearted soul
a sickly dream of deep, dark holes
we fall in as we walk the way,
and then we’re left with  nothing to say.
But hollers to the world. unheard.
a final breath. a final word.
gasping for air,
I was left there.

I'm done with every teacher
The constant reprimand
I'm done with students (creatures!)
I'm done with your commands.

I'm done with angry shouts
And tear that spend the night
I'm done with crying pouts
I'm done with constant fright.

Noticing the crossing line
the dividing point of yours and mine.
Noticing the empty space
that mutual zone, that hidden place.
Staring blankly at that line
we know we never will collide.
Staring at that empty space
never standing face to face.
Running in a parallel line.
Waiting for things to be fine.
Running always for my life
Trying to escape the strife.

We build our bridges
We tear them down
We wish for kisses
We get frowns
We accept it
As though it's all we deserve
Because we know we were meant to be seen.
Not heard.

We build our cities
Live our lives
We hide our struggles and our strifes
They don't want to hear it
So we don't say a word
Because we know we were meant to be seen.
Not heard

And we take it
We listen to them
We **** it up
Again and again
The stories that we cannot tell
For we were meant to be seen and not heard
In this hell

I make music, I make noise
They try to tear me down
But they can't speak over my voice
They try to quiet me
But listen to my words
I was meant to be seen
*and heard

Can you capture forever in a box?
Can you ship it to me overnight?
Can you capture eternity and store it
In the shadows where you hide from the light?

Dreaded and attained, burnt, scarred, and damaged.
He said he'd never hurt me, I thought I could manage.
He never intended the suffering, he never intended the pain.
He didn't know, he'll never see, my crying like the rain.

But I know that he kills me. Damages me inside.
Word cannot begin, not even start to describe.
The pain that I've been feeling, the pain the scars me so.
But what hurts the most is knowing, that he will never know.

Torturing myself with memories of him
Waiting for nothing as my patience grows thin
Holding onto nothing, losing my mind
But I know I'll hold on until the end of time

We haven’t talked in a long while
And I’ve never had I bigger smile
I’m getting over you.
I haven’t seen your icy eyes
Ever since those sorry goodbyes
But I’m getting over you
I haven’t stopped thinking about the words you said
About that wonderful day, that day that I dread
But I’m getting over you
“We’re just friends” you broke my heart
Or maybe it’s been broken from the start
I can’t get over you

Don't ask me stupid questions,
don't feed me stupid lies.
I'm sick of all the torture,
I'm done with your goodbyes.

Red.
Red was her dress on the day you met
And the blood that sped up in your veins when you made eye contact
Red were her lips the first time you kissed her
And her cheeks when you told her she's the most beautiful girl you've ever seen
Red were the petals you spread on your bed when you made love to her for the very first time
And her nails when they scratched your back as she held you tight.
Red are the roses you gave her when you asked her for her hand
Red is the fire in your heart you still feel every time you touch
Red is your love for her
Red.

Knowing you care is all I need
But saying it isn’t enough
and maybe I just need someone
To tell me that life is just tough
But how am I supposed to let go?
Tell myself that I’m fine?
But I know it isn’t true
Still, I know, you aren’t mine.
So insincere, the things that you say
Maybe it’s true
you’ve never cared anyway.
I just need to know
I need to know that you care.
But words are insufficient
I need to know that you’re there.

There are infinite stars
And infinite wishes
That I mouth in my restless sleep
There are millions of words
That I wanted to say
But I conceal every peep.

There are billions of people
With billions of thoughts
It what seems like billions of hours a day.
Millions of miles
And infinite wishes
*Why is he so far away?

Some things go, and some things stay
But why did they have to leave this way?
Some people wonder and some people know
Why everyone eventually has to go.
But those who wonder, those so young
Who have they wronged? What have they done?
What can we change? What can we do?
To make the world safe for me and for you?
Who do we go to, to end the war
To make our lives last a little more.
For self-defense, we use are guns
But when people do otherwise, what is there to be done?
We can stay strong and with all our might
We'll help each other to be brave and to fight
All we have now is one another
But are we strong enough to just love each other?
Some things go, and some things stay,
But we don't have to live this way.

He doesn’t listen, he doesn’t want to.
Won’t pay attention, no one to talk to.
He doesn’t notice, doesn’t realize.
He doesn’t see the look in my eyes.
So complicated, he doesn’t even know.
He doesn’t want to, he’s got a love like woe.
He’ll find a problem, one that I can’t see.
He’ll pay attention, to anyone but me.

I tell you I'm fine but I'm not
I don't want to drag you with me
Into the pain, into the heartbreak
You don't want to share my agony.
I tell you I'm fine but I'm crushed
I don't want to tell you the truth.
Because the truth could scar you forever.
The truth is, I love you.

I love you
I love you too

To say it, to say it aloud

I love you
I love you too

To feel it, to let it all out

I just wanted to hear it
I'll say it again

I love you to the moon and back

I love you
I love you too

Saying it, knowing for a fact.

That *I love you
I love you too

I miss you, I miss your sweet touch

I love you
I love you too

And I miss you, I miss you so much

A kiss brings bliss but all the same,
You can’t have a rainbow without a little rain
If only he’d hold me, I really wish he would
But without all the bad you can never have good

You don't know me
Don't know me at all
You think you can catch me
So you wait 'til I fall
You aren't in my brain
You don't know what's wrong
And don't try to tell me
What the hell's going on.
*Because you just don't know

When the silence breaks
The bell rings loud
And the murmurs begin in the whole of the crowd

When the silence breaks
Tight friendships fail
Only the strong, only one will prevail

When the silence breaks
Everyone cries
Hell to your ears
And poison to your eyes

But when silence fell,
There was bliss in this hell.

I am a reader*
I flip page to page
I live a different life
Every single day

With a whoosh I’m a wizard
A vampire, a slayer
My book is a game
And I am its player.

A million different minds
All share one head
When I read a book
Under covers in my bed

I am a reader
A reader is me
I can be in any story
*So that’s where I’ll be.

My mind is racing
My head is spinning
Nothing is okay

It's like I've been here all my life
It's only the second day?