Goodbye. The word that pains me so.
Because it tells me that I must let go.
But he'll never know...
Because my feelings will never show.

Knowing you care is all I need
But saying it isn’t enough
and maybe I just need someone
To tell me that life is just tough
But how am I supposed to let go?
Tell myself that I’m fine?
But I know it isn’t true
Still, I know, you aren’t mine.
So insincere, the things that you say
Maybe it’s true
you’ve never cared anyway.
I just need to know
I need to know that you care.
But words are insufficient
I need to know that you’re there.

A broken telephone,
No one on the end
talking to nothing,
When I really need a friend.
A brick wall
No shoulder to cry on.
No body to talk to
No one to rely on.
Just talking to myself
or a some non-existent one
But, I’ll tell you, broken telephone
Talking to you isn’t fun.

When poems aren’t poetic
And words become pathetic
And the world is filled with doubt,
The sun begins to fade
and the moon begins to wane
And darkness grows throughout.
That’s the day the world ends.
When art just isn’t art
It slowly kills our hearts
And the world is filled with hate.
The world’s canvas is full
and the colors all grow dull
And there is no more room for paint
That’s the day the world ends
When songs just aren’t sung,
And all the expression is done
And there isn’t time for song,
The life starts to decline
And you just cannot rewind
Everything is wrong.
*That’s the day the world ends

Don’t cry, Darling
You have so many reasons to smile
But it’s okay to feel sad
Just once in a while.
But stick your head up
So we can see your pretty face
And be proud of yourself,
Don’t hide in disgrace
Because everyone loves you
And if they don’t, they’re not worth it
So smile and be happy,
Because Darling, you’re perfect.

You can cry on my shoulder
You can tell me your pain
I won’t let him hurt you,
No, never again
I might not make it better
but I’ll try and I’ll try
I will never hurt you
I’ll never let you cry.
And when you have to let it out
I won’t laugh or stare,
I want you to always know, my friend
That I’ll always be there.

It's all so wrong
but it feels so right
but it really needs to stop.
Because the balloon is filling
bigger and bigger,
And soon it's gonna pop.
It's all so wrong
but it feels like I'm flying
soaring in the sky,
The balloon is filling
bigger and bigger,
Bigger than you and I.
It's all so wrong
but it feels so good
like nothing can stop me now
but the balloon is filling
bigger and bigger.
I need to stop it, but I don't know how.
*It just feels so right

I hope you feel better about yourself, because I don't.

I hope your problems were resolved, because mine weren't. 

I hope you're satisfied, because I'm not.

I hope I didn't do something to hurt you, and I'm sorry.

I hope you've learned your lesson; I have.

I shouldn’t be crying
I shouldn’t be missing you.
I shouldn’t be with you
but oh, how I want to.
You shouldn’t be flirting
You know that it’s wrong,
But I know it too,
Yet I still go along.
We shouldn’t be together
We shouldn’t have lied
It’s time to jump off
Of this roller coaster ride.

I'm jealous
But I'd never admit it
I've been abandoned
And I just want to quit it
But I know that I can't give up.
I'm jealous
But I'd never tell him
I've been crying my eyes out.
I've just been so jealous.
But I know that I'm just out of luck.
I'm jealous
But he'll never know
I haven't slept at night
but it'll never show.
I know that he doesn't love me too.
I'm jealous
I'm not okay
I've been left out
day after day
Maybe I've done wrong.
I just don't have a clue.

I miss him,
I can’t let go
He’s always on my mind
but he’ll never know
I miss him
I can’t move on
But I’ll never stop loving him
I’ll never move along.
I miss him
and I need him here
but he'll never return
he'll never be near.
*But I miss him

Left out
Like I’m not even here
Like I’m a million miles away
But they know I’m so near
Left out
Like they don’t even care
They’re right in front of my eyes
But it’s like I’m not even there
Left out*
And they don’t even know
I want to walk away
but I just can’t let go.

I’m moving on,
It doesn’t matter where I’m going
as long as I’m not coming back to you.
It’s wrong and I wish we could make it right
But for now I have to say that this is through.
I’m moving on
It doesn’t matter if I’m happy.
Just know that I don’t want to say goodbye.
It’s bad and I wish I could make it good
But we know it and we just cannot deny.
I’m moving on
Because I know it’s wrong
and I know you know it too.
It’s stupid I wish I could make it smart
but I just can’t come back to you.

I’m holding on to sanity
My mind has slowly escaped,
Confused by what’s reality
and what is purely fake.
I’m trying to hold onto you,
Like hanging off a cliff.
I never thought I’d lose sanity
Or that it’d come to this.
I miss you like I miss my mind
It’s driving me insane
You taught me how to follow my heart
Instead of relying on my brain.
I feel like you’ve been gone all my life,
Like we’ve never sat face to face
I miss you like I miss my mind,
I miss your sweet embrace.

Entirely clueless,
at a loss, drawn a blank.
And everything's wrong,
every move that I make.
Entirely absent
Incoherent in the mind,
Everything's confusing
And I'm always behind.
I'm sick of being the last
Behind all the rest,
*I'm sick of being alone

What is the object of these games that we play?
What are we trying to get?
Why do we do what we do all the time,
When all it ever does is upset?
Why do we follow this one way road?
The elevator that only goes down?
Why do we do what we do all the time,
When all it ever brings is a frown?
Why do we stay when there's a long road ahead?
Why do we follow this never-ending spiral?
Why do we hide from the world around us?
Why don't we let it out, make it viral?
Why do we follow this one way road?
Because we have nothing to lose.

He never even said goodbye,
Gone with the wind so thin
I never even stopped to think,
what it would be like without him.
He never even said he’d go.
Left with such a bitter surprise.
I never even stopped to stare
into his icy blue eyes.
He never even said it back,
never told me he loved me too,
I never even backed away
From all the crap he put me through.
*And now he’s gone.

I miss you.
I hold on to the memories
waiting for you to return.
I need you.
I hold on to the pictures of us,
as I slowly let them burn.
I love you.
I hold on to the love we once had
waiting for you to come back.
I lost you.
I hold on the that moment
until I fall under attack.
I miss you.
*But I have to let go

So many things I want to say
He doesn't want to hear
He's miles and miles away from me
But I really need him near.
I see him for who I want him to be,
He sees me for who I am.
So that, of course explains why
He doesn't give a ****.
So many things I wish I'd said
That may have made it right,
But the things that I did say are why,
I cannot sleep at night.
So many things that I regret,
And things he'll never know
So many things I have to hide,
Things I'll never show.
*And it's killing me inside

It's been two days
And it feels like forever
Like I've never even talked to him
Like we've never been together.
It's been 48 hours
And it feels like a year
Or like it's all been a dream
Like he's never been here.
It’s been two days
And it feels like so much more.
Like decades or centuries
Since he walked out the door.

*and I miss him like hell

I'm drifting asleep, just waiting for him.
Days like this, even the sunshine seems dim.
He'll never respond, he'll never return.
Still I let myself wait, let my heart churn.
I might just collapse from all the heartbreak,
But still just waiting for him keeps me awake.
My mind’s floating away, away with the night,
Missing the days when the sun was so bright.
But I'm drifting asleep, just waiting for him.
Days like this, even the sunshine seems dim.

Dreaded and attained, burnt, scarred, and damaged.
He said he'd never hurt me, I thought I could manage.
He never intended the suffering, he never intended the pain.
He didn't know, he'll never see, my crying like the rain.

But I know that he kills me. Damages me inside.
Word cannot begin, not even start to describe.
The pain that I've been feeling, the pain the scars me so.
But what hurts the most is knowing, that he will never know.

My heart is beating at the speed of sound.
Pulsating quickly, never slowing down.
My mind is spinning like a threat of death,
As my heart slowly beats 'til it escapes from my chest.
My heart has taken control of my brain,
A feeling that I simply cannot explain.

*but still I can't complain

Felt the last raindrop of a storm,
felt so cold, but seemed so warm.
The last scream of a cloud,
A sound so quiet, but yet so loud.
Dealt the last hand,
cards so awful, but times so grand.
That last ****** feeling,
stopping the pain, but yet never healing.

I miss you,
and you don't even know.
I miss you,
and I can't let it show.
How I miss you,
how much I miss you so.
I miss you,
and you will never know.

He makes me feel so special,
wipes away my frown.
He helps me feel amazing,
like nothing will ever bring me down.
I know he's unattainable,
and it leaves me with such pain.
He'll never see me crying.
Staring out into the pouring rain.
He makes me feel so beautiful,
like my life is a happy song.
He makes me feel amazing,
I've known it all along.
*But I just can't see it anymore

If I had a voice,
I’d scream at the top of my lungs
I’d yell to the world,
“Watch Out! here I come!”
I’d make a change, I’d make the world fun
If I had a voice,
I would shine like the sun

I believed seasons changed behind my back,
But still I walked.
My feet dragged against the cement burning the soles of my shoes,
But still I walked.
I didn’t know my way,
But still I walked.
I had reached my destination,
But still I walked.
“It’s not the destination, It’s the journey.”
And so I walk.
They said the world would change,
and so I waited.
They told me peace would come,
and so I waited.
They said the war would end,
and so I waited.
They told me it would get better,
and so I waited.
“Seize the Day”
and so I walk

Walking barefoot in the rain,
nothing to lose, yet nothing to gain.
You’re the spitting image
of a heart that’s sprained
many things that I’ve lost,
still nothing gained

When the moon shines bright,
but the smoke blows black,
once it all fades to white,
you can never go back.
So hold your head high,
on the dark summer night,
and you can learn why the world,
tries to put up a fight.
Nothing to think of and nothing to say,
No way to discover, to find my way.
Someone find me, save the day
A soulless body, like made of clay
I see the pathway in my mind
No way out just looking behind
the first step is for you
the first leap is mine

If I could only see, how this war and hatred came to be,
I would have ran back in time for my family and my friends.
If I only knew how, the war would end right now,
and the peace and harmony would never end.

Just one thing that holds me back from the fun
the darkness I see when I look at the sun.
The biggest mistake among a ton,
Why it’s happened to me. A million to one.
Back in time I wish I could go,
I could take the heat, trudge through the snow
I wish I knew, oh ever so
If you find out, please, let me know

The first step in, I want to step out
The first word spoken, I wanted to shout
The very first sentence, “life is so tough”
The very last breath, It just wasn’t good enough.

My fingertips are empty, I think I’m fin’lly done,
The day that I’ve been dreading finally has come.
A blank mind that has been wiped, in one single nights rest.
My brain is like a little bird that had to leave the nest.
I guess it is a good thing, that all the past is gone
But why do I feel I need to continue, or just sing one final song.
Sadly, I’m not perfect, so what do you expect?
This is an honest feeling, that I just can’t neglect.

I no longer know what I am composing,
It’s all just words to me,
maybe there is something more
through the eyes in which you see.
I’ve never seen that rainbow,
I’ve never seen the light.
All I’ve seen is darkness telling me goodnight.
looking through the window,
a wonderland galore,
loving all I have,
somehow wanting more.
all I want is to find a way to love myself for who I am,
not to care what they all say, just not to give a ****.
what you want to say or do will forever be your choice.
but for me, as long as I live, I will use my voice.

A stab in my heart
torn apart
I’ve been smashed in pieces.
No blood, no gore,
but a heart  that is sore,
the pain inside hurts so much more,
than a shot to the heart,
a body in flames,
a stab in the heart hurts more than the brain.
Another poem
another day,
another truth that’s gone away.
Sharing my lies with all of you
appearing damaged
believing it too.
keep on crawling to the shore,
no longer drowning,
not anymore.

Felt like a slap across the head
alive but still dead.
another fork in the road brings another knife in my back.
Taking the wrong path ends in heart attack
The slow crash of speeding cars.
a reach so close but yet so far.
another broken-hearted soul
a sickly dream of deep, dark holes
we fall in as we walk the way,
and then we’re left with  nothing to say.
But hollers to the world. unheard.
a final breath. a final word.
gasping for air,
I was left there.

Tell it to the world,
so what if no one hears?
Shout it out so all the words will slowly disappear.
Don’t you worry,
you are so near!
don’t you hurry
you’re almost here!
waiting for something
that doesn’t exist.
Asking question without answers,
like why, and what if?
Here is your answer
why do you care?
If you don’t let it go
you will end up in despair.

Without potential.
Why do they lie?
I feel useless.
Tell me, am I?
just another girl,
who has made some mistakes.
just one correction,
is all that it takes
the pick me up
out of the crowd,
build me up
and let me down.
So this is my question
Am I alone?
Is there a place that I can really call home?
so here I am...
without potential.
In a life like this,
hope is essential.

Warn the world of hate and sorrow, but it will all be fine tomorrow.
So listen well and don’t forget, don’t drown your life in your regret.
The sadness we’ve gone through is such a shame, but make your mark and they’ll remember your name.
Words are flowing from my heart, or maybe my head, but it’s a start.
Someday someone will hear my words, in a song that is sung in the whistles of the birds.
So listen close for someday you will remember, the day when you read this, back in September.
That was the time that I realized, the tears swelling up in the corner of your eyes.
I wanted to help but there was nothing I could do, but give some good advice to you.
So listen well and don’t forget, don’t drown your life in your regret.

I may just be confused,
but hell, I’ve always been
maybe I’ve been lost,
in the state of mind I’m in
It’s seems to be the same,
but still the difference is clear
that it’s not just a coincidence,
that we are ever so near
Maybe it is fate,
That this book has opened here
To a page that’s clean and empty,
but the words, are plain & clear
Laughing at the darkness,
for it’s all just one sick joke
The sun is only hiding
behind it’s starry cloak.
Standing here together
but feeling so alone.
Because no matter what I do,
My flaws are always shown.

Going down a lonely road, nowhere else to go.
Stumbling down a broken trail,
going where only God would know
Making my way, hardly moving with each step,
words spoken quietly with each breath
made puddles while I silently wept
The grass that grew from my puddle of tears,
became the ground for all of my fears.
The trail I’ve been following all of these years
Without a trace, Its disappeared.

Noticing the crossing line
the dividing point of yours and mine.
Noticing the empty space
that mutual zone, that hidden place.
Staring blankly at that line
we know we never will collide.
Staring at that empty space
never standing face to face.
Running in a parallel line.
Waiting for things to be fine.
Running always for my life
Trying to escape the strife.

Putting things into perspective, everything is becoming more clear.
It might be a sudden change of heart or maybe it’s because you are here.
Putting the puzzle together, everything is in its place,
pointing me in the right direction, wiping the tears off my face.
Maybe it’s the way that you held her, that made me strive for the same.
Everything comes back to you, for the good things I have you to blame.
You led me to this freedom, you’ve cleared me a yellow-brick-road.
Helping me find myself, my place in life, my home.
And there’s no place like home.

He doesn’t listen, he doesn’t want to.
Won’t pay attention, no one to talk to.
He doesn’t notice, doesn’t realize.
He doesn’t see the look in my eyes.
So complicated, he doesn’t even know.
He doesn’t want to, he’s got a love like woe.
He’ll find a problem, one that I can’t see.
He’ll pay attention, to anyone but me.

Of course you’d favor her,
her smile, her hair, her glance.
Of course you’d never see right past,
never give me a chance.
Of course you’d shy away,
anybody would.
Of course you’d see the ugly,
and never see the good.
Of course I’d be upset.
wallowing in tears.
Of course I’d miss your smile,
because you’re no longer here.
Of course I’d hide away,
anybody would.
But I still can’t find the ugly,
hiding behind the good.