All of the pain
at the last minute
life is a game
and we cannot win it
Forced into playing
Pulled by the wrist
Thrown into a battle
To fight with our fists
Like life is this torture
Like we're beaten with truth
Torn into pieces
Ever since youth
And now we're stuck in this game
So we might as well play
And maybe eventually
We'll be okay.

The clock doesn't stop ticking
My heart won't stop to beat
I will not stop breathing
Because you stopped being sweet
I won't let you hurt me
This is where it ends
because we're only lying
because we aren't friends
We've always been more
But you didn't know
You were my love
but now you're a foe
*But I'm still alive

So now we're just friends
I'm just the girl that you text
Hanging on to the fact
That I could be next
That you'll love me too
You'll love me like you love her
But you don't, and I know it
And it makes my heart stir
But you say you want to kiss me
You're just a cheat
But now I guess I'll accept it
*Accepting defeat

Am I invisible to you?
Can you see or do you see through
Everything I say and do?
Do you see me?

Love is nothing but a disorder of the hypothalamus
But there's no easy cure
I've fallen in love with the broken trust
And I just can't take anymore

Long distance relationship
A relationship that hardly exists
Long distance, barely true
It's long distance, but I still love you

Love
I need to forget it
It's just a mythical thing
So complicated, I don't get it
Is it really real?
A thing of the heart?
Or has it all been our brains
Right from the start
After all the heart's just a blood pumping *****
But we blame it for our emotions again and again
But we're the ones to blame

Don't ask me stupid questions,
don't feed me stupid lies.
I'm sick of all the torture,
I'm done with your goodbyes.

You hugged me goodbye
That was the end
I woke up the next morning
And you were only a friend
That's what we said
That's how we lied.
Like our "relationship" was over
Gone with the tide.
But that sand washed away
That sand of emotion
Just into the water
Only into the ocean.
And as that water flowed
Our "love" stirred with the water
But then you try to tell be I couldn't be hotter?
Is that fair to me?
That you'd lead me to think
That you actually cared
Then let the "relationship" sink.

You say you don’t want me to cry
So why do you make me?
You say you don’t want to hurt me
So why did you break me?
The unbroken promises
Slowly break down
The undisturbed smile
Slowly fades to a frown.
I said I was independent
That I don’t need a boy
But now I’m dependent on you
To bring me my joy
But you fail to do so
You fail to help
But maybe I’m better off
All by myself.

Completely incomplete
No longer whole
Just trying to get back
The heart that you stole
Entirely broken
And failing to survive
A terrible feeling
That I may not come out alive

I pray for lightening
I wait for the rain
I watch for the water
The water of pain
With pain comes serenity
Happy with sad
I pray for the lightening
To burn all things bad

Pain scurries like a rabid squirrel
Lost love screams like a little girl
An angry cry shouts from above
The silent tears of lost love

You say that it's natural
Everyone feels this way
But then why do I feel
Like I'm alone everyday?
I walk like I'm confident
Wondering if they see through
The mask that covers me
The show I put on for you
But that mask slowly fades
And I set myself free
Maybe it's better
Just being me.

Those purple circles
Under my eyes
Marks of sleeplessness
I can't disguise
Concealer only covers
The layer of skin
But underneath the makeup
There's still weary eyes within
I haven't slept
Not a wink of rest
Ever since you came
And made this mess.
*Sweet Dreams

I peer through the fingers
Covering my eyes
Can’t let you see me crying
But still I can’t disguise
The emotional pain
You’ve bestowed upon me
The emotional agony
That I can’t let you see
Because what you don’t know won’t hurt you
But what you do know will
I know you deserve it
But I can’t let you, still.

You took me away
From my awful dark place
You painted a smile
On my melancholy face
But then you dragged me away
Kicking and screaming
The best part of my life
like I was only dreaming
And now all I can do
Is turn around and imagine
That maybe you’ll be the prince
Who saves me from the dragon.

You don't know me
Don't know me at all
You think you can catch me
So you wait 'til I fall
You aren't in my brain
You don't know what's wrong
And don't try to tell me
What the hell's going on.
*Because you just don't know

I tell you I'm fine but I'm not
I don't want to drag you with me
Into the pain, into the heartbreak
You don't want to share my agony.
I tell you I'm fine but I'm crushed
I don't want to tell you the truth.
Because the truth could scar you forever.
The truth is, I love you.

You used to bring out the best in me, but now you make me worse
I used to think you were a blessing, now you're just a curse.
I reflect on the heart break that I had to endure
Now I suffer from an ache, an ache without a cure.

The distance won’t stop you
From tearing me apart
You run around with her
But play with my heart
If I was on the other
Side of the deal
Maybe I’d know
How that girl could feel
But I know how I feel
The feeling of pain
Because I’m just a part
Of your silly cheating game.

I’m lost in your soul and lost in your eyes
Lost in the way you made me feel.
Lost in the love you’ve shown to me
The love that isn’t real.
Lost in the illusion, that you love me too
Lost in the way that I love you
Lost in the idea that our love could mean something
But I was blind to the fact that to you, I am nothing.

You’ve always been free
Perfect to me
Like you haven’t a care
As I notice you stare
Deep into my eyes
But still you disguise
The pain and the stress
You’re simply a mess
But always know I understand
You and I could walk hand and hand
If only this love could possibly bloom
Instead the small bud is falling to its doom
But you could make it all okay
So tell me, my love, will you stay?

I don’t know what love is
But my heart says it’s this
My heart says it’s not wrong
But my head says it is.
I can’t help falling
Completely in love
Because you’re the only one
I ever think of
When I see you
There’s no one else I see
If only you’d fall
In love with me

You call it attraction
But it seems so much more
The perfect distraction
Makes my heart soar.
You call me a friend
But I thought maybe I meant something
Maybe this is the end
But I won't stop for nothing.

I need to stop
I must let go
I can’t go on
I must let you know
But I haven’t the words to say
The lingering feelings
Won’t go away
Until I face what’s sorry but true
Until I admit
I’m in love with you

I miss you
The way you are
I miss the one I love
I miss my northern star.
Because you were my guide
My path paved in stone
You held my shaky hand
Every step on this road.
I probably would have scared you off
If you couldn’t look past
But of course you did, My Love
And now I’m falling for you fast.
The what ifs and dreams
That never would come true
Slowly came alive
The minute I saw you.
And although we cannot be together
I know how much you care
Although we are apart
I will always be there.

Sometimes I think there's a thought bubble chasing me
Following me all around.
Sometimes I think there's a ghost that is haunting me
Running me into the ground.
Sometimes I fake that there's no paranoia
That I haven't yet gone insane
But always I know that something is killing me
Eating me alive through my brain.
Sometimes I believe I'm a zombie
A zombie of the shadow of your heart.
Sometimes I fall into your eyes
And it's tearing me slowly apart.

Just another pawn in the game of life
Trying to take the king
Just another piece of a 7 billion piece puzzle
Just trying to succeed this thing
This thing called life
This bitter, harsh game
And when my body is gone
Who'll remember my name?
*For I am just a pawn

Forever is a long, long time
But if I were with you I think I'd be fine
Forever is whatever you want it to be
So tell me, will you spend forever with me?

I dream with open eyes
And I cry with silent tears
I try with all my might
But I can't contain the fears.
I hide but no one searches
I fly with frozen wings
I hide away from the happy
But stand up to awful things.
I bleed a different color
A rainbow of deadly pain
I walk on whirling waters
But still cry like the rain.

I just wish someone would care
Or put on a smile and pretend.
Because sometimes it just gets hard
To fight for myself: To defend.
I just wish somethings could change
Or maybe this whole thing could end.
I really need someone to help
Or maybe I just really need a friend.

Torturing myself with memories of him
Waiting for nothing as my patience grows thin
Holding onto nothing, losing my mind
But I know I'll hold on until the end of time

Up all night
Every other day
Just to collapse on the next.
Up until the wee hours
Just waiting for you
Anticipating just another text.
Waiting for something
Expecting the best
But always being let down.
Because your short sentences
That I wait for, so long
Only ever bring me a frown.
So I try to tell you
the way that I feel
But you don’t seem to comprehend.
So I get aggressive
Regret what I say,
and hope that you’ll still be my friend.
You tell me the truth
The whole truth, nothing but
And I cry in the dead of the night
I don’t know if I’ll ever forgive myself
For picking this stupid fight.
I thought of you as perfect
I thought you never made mistakes
Never thought you had problems like I do.
But although you saw right through me
I never tried to see into you.
Maybe you aren’t perfect
But you still light up my world
You make me smile
all of the time
You make my heart twirl.
I could go on for hours
About what I should
And shouldn’t have said
But deep in the dead of the night,
It’s about time I’d go to bed.

Defeat is expected
A necessity of success
But defeat is my shadow
And my life is a mess.
Crying in public
Like I don’t even care
But I cannot help it
The pains everywhere.
I try to conceal it
To keep it inside
But somethings are always there
Somethings you just can’t hide

I remember him old and sick
Never lively or free
Now I'm left wondering
If he ever smiled at me
I was only a child
When his life passed away
I can barely remember
The dreadful day
His life was a miracle
Only supposed to last a while
If only I could remember
The way he used to smile.
All the times I have forgotten
All the memory lost
I never thought that crying
Would ever help the cause
But crying is all I can do
For every memory's a blur
All that's left is the picture of
'Daddy's little girl'

My life is a dream
My vision's a blur
All I see is you
All you see is her

It hurts how people stare.
And I know I shouldn't care.
But it's the way they make me feel...
Like I'm not even real

I spend so much time crying
I can't even think
If I stop for a moment
I know I will sink
In the tears that I cry
In the pain I set free
Maybe I'm crazy
Or maybe I'm me.

Going back the way we came
Nothing changes, all's the same
Never making any change
Staying within a tiny range
Can't step out of our comfort zone
Always sitting all alone
Maybe it's time to take a chance
And jump into a risky romance

I know you think it's funny
But try not to laugh
You put me back together
Then you tore me back in half
You made me feel perfect
Then left me to cry
I know you think you're funny
But why?

The parapet of restriction
Keeping me away
Holding me back from serenity
As I watch the waters sway
Relaxing but stressing all the same
The beauty so hard to contain
The parapet of restriction
Driving me insane

Beautifully real
Spoiled by mankind
Technology advances
Leaves nature behind
The roar of the falls
Covered by coins and machines
Buries mother nature
In the dirt of the mean
Spoiled and diminished
Ruined and wrecked
Swallowed by evil
And left as a mess
*Nature

The smell of fresh air
And the roar of the water
Cradled in the arms
Of mother nature’s daughter
The world fills my lungs
With that sweet tasting air
blood in my veins
and wind in my hair
The renewal of life
The death of the dead
love in the air
and music in my head

I’m listening to music
Songs that remind me
Don’t wanna believe that the past is behind me
I’ve fallen for you
I know it’s pathetic
But I really hope that you’ll be sympathetic
I hope that you’ll feel the way that I do
I hope you have fallen
In love with me too
Won’t you come back
as if this was a movie?
But you’d never return
‘cause you see right through me
I remember your arms around me,
that dance
If this were a movie
You’d give me a chance
But this is reality
And although it’s tragic
Imagine the movie
Imagine the magic
Imagine what it could be
If this were a show
Maybe it’d be perfect
But how do we know?

To be honest I need you here
I’m tired of hiding from all of my fear
To be honest I’m afraid of what’s true
Hiding from the reasons I‘ve fallen for you
To be honest I got lost in your eyes
trying to hide it, always in disguise
To be honest I need to get away
But I know I’ll rue this day

I’m a zombie of the darkness
Caught in death’s grip
Pain streaming out of my very fingertip
Groaning from the anger
Or of primitive game
After death, life is never to be the same
A zombie of strength
Representing the weak
Maybe I’m normal
Or a barely dead freak

Donated to death
A cruel contest
The most primitive creatures
Can beat out the best
A tribute to this wretched game
It’s awful and unfair
The worst punishment you could ever ask for
set on fire just to make them stare
Betting on humans,
like horses of a race
Burns on your legs
and cuts on your face
Only one can win,
Only one can make it through
But only the winner survives
Who’s next? Could it be you?

An everlasting darkness is developing around.
The world is spinning endlessly at the constant speed of sound.
Making piercing noise but not hearing a thing
My ears are frozen solid; I can’t hear danger sing.
The everlasting darkness is approaching quick
Coughing from the smokes of hell, making myself sick.
The world once sparkled, but the dark is bleeding through
Heaven’s light's collapsing, all because of you.

What is a kiss?
A display of affection?
Or the combination lock
Of a solid connection?
If you'll give me your combo
I'll give you mine
An everlasting bond
Frozen in time