you let me hold your hand,
and play with your fingers,
then you left to **** another girl,

and maybe you thought
i'd be fine with that

i see these news clips,
the stories that go around
and it rips me apart inside

i spend hours thinking about it,
the struggles those people go through

the attacks,
the murders,
the rapists,
the brutality,
the war,
the innocent people
paying in blood,

i see it all and i want to speak up,
shout "it's not okay" from the roof tops,

i'll bring it up at lunch
but my friends don't care,
they don't think they have to,
because "we're just kids"
and "we're too young to understand"

we are the indifferent generation,
because our voices were taken away,
and our opinions were silenced,
before we even had a chance to express them

at first it's grey,
that's the only way i can describe it,
it's like you can't hear anything but white noise
or see anything but fog,
and then the clouds form,
and it rains,
sometimes for hours,
and sometimes for years,
and you're just sitting there in the downpour,
looking at nothing,
because your eyes can't focus,
and it feels like your heart isn't beating,
and your lungs aren't breathing,
and it's just you,
all alone,
in the rain,
staring at nothing.

what i have:

he is a familiar body and warmth,
a movie i've watched to many times,
he's a book i know the ending too,
he's boring; he's too familiar,
i don't want brown eyes and warm smiles.

what i want:

he is a piece of the sun,
golden haired, with eyes like the sky,
and a smile filled with light,
his voice is laughter and his body is uncharted,
he is innocent from all of
the sin filled people around him.

what i can't have:

he is a smirk and a dark place,
with acid eyes and smoky breath,
he is my dreams and my nightmares,
my greatest desires and fears,
he'll break me, i know it, but i can't help it.

i don't answer your calls
because it hurts less
when i don't hear your voice

and each tiny fragment was
only held together by the
thinnest of strings,
until one day they
slowly tore apart
piece by agonizing piece;
my heart is no longer whole