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They say keep your head up
They say its one step at a time
But if your head is held too high
How can you be sure
The next step you take
Is onto solid ground?


I don't want you to fall down

They say life is crazy
They say death unavoidable
they say a lot of things
But I've never heard them say
They only want
Everyone to be happy


I don't want you to fall down
Yes, I still feel her breath against
My ear, as asleep as my
Arm that I
Will not need to move until she
Turns in a dream,

And I sink into my own.
Never again will that passing
Train throw
Blue light shadows on the
Ceiling above

My head where her smoke
Detector
Blinks its little, red light of
Reassurance.
Whiffs of lilac as I cross the

Street to her place
Where she is waiting.
All yesterdays, now.
The right songs still summon
Recap videos of our year-and-a-

Half in
Love behind my eyes.
Not choosing suffering,
I curl up underneath a warm
Blanket of what

Was; what can never
Truly be taken
Away.
And rest.
Sometimes something flowers

With such
Grace that its passing away
Simply cannot unfold as  
Any less graceful.
Ghandi shot in the chest, meeting

The Void whispering:
Ram, Ram, God's
Name, as if saying: "I'm coming,
Look, ma': No hands!"
No attachments.

Lovers no more, friends for life, 
Once sharers of
Intimacy and
Laughter, tears and everyday
Moments; little

Grains of gold.
Our own buried treasure
Where ex marks the spot, and the
Map is riding on
Kisses blowing with the

Scent of lilac and the sound of
Magpies chattering against  
Trains as if saying: "Just try, I'll
Take ya!"
Our attitude

In the nutshell they
Peck at with hungry
Beaks, leaving little traces like
Runes in powder snow.
To be nothing but grateful, even

For the days that could have been
Better. To miss her with a
Warm heart, content.
Wish her more happiness and
Security than I did even on

The days of
Our most intense affections.
Parting is part of Life, and
I'll remain at peace with
The parts both

Before and
After, until
My arm is
Forever asleep with the
Rest of me, resting.
Written for Mary my 85 year old mother in law who lost her husband John to cancer 10 years ago*

Of long walks across Scotlands  rain washed hills
Long days walking the Lakeland peaks with your dogs constant at your side
Strolling the gentle Surrey hills beneath sun dappled boughs
Accompanied by bird song music

Of days long past and memories held dear
Mary still walks about 2 miles a day with Lucy her golden retriever,  and occasionally longer walks with me.
~

Just a shell
is all that remains
Hollow and lifeless
of thread and thoughts
Fraying slowly in
lost dreams and
unfulfilled wishes

Falling into the shadows of
fractured promises
and the passage of time
when winds will disperse
the memories of what
he once was

scattering them as they
disappear on the horizons
beyond the distant sunset
he so enjoyed sharing,
now colorless,
as he stares blankly

just a shell

is all that remains…
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