They told me I was selfish
Cause I had a bullet pressed to my head
With my name on it
They told me I was selfish
Cause I had a knife pressed against my thigh
They told me I was selfish
Cause my legs were bleeding
And I was screaming
They told my I was selfish
Cause my heart wouldn't stop hurting
They told me I was selfish
Cause my bones were aching
They told me I was selfish
Cause my note said I was leaving
They told me I was selfish
Cause they begged me to stay
They told me I was selfish
Cause I needed to go away
They told me I was selfish

my mother used to say,
“if it hurts, it’s working.”
whenever i got a cut,
she would dab peroxide
on the cut, healing me.

i knew he loved me deep inside,
he never told me but i know it
every time he hits me, it hurts.
but my mother was never wrong.
if it hurts, it must be working.
right? -

​
you’re always driving fast
why don’t you drive slow
and stay

You've taught me alot, but the most important thing you had to teach me
was that when i am drowning
no one is going to be there to save me
to pull me to surface air
I must save myself
my lungs will eventually fill with the water which is keeping me under
and while my lungs fill,
I'll drown in my own damp misery
as you sit and you watch
with a grin on your face
you do not reach a  hand out
you sit still, you take in my every ****, squirm, gasp for air
as i feel my body Giving out
i'll build the strength
which you have given me
by sitting, watching me drown
I'll surface my own body
I'll breath my own air
For I have learned to live without you dear

I could feel the tension
I could feel he no longer wanted me
I knew when he looked at me and his eyes were looking through glass
I shattered in this moment
And I knew by the stale way he would say I love you
It sounded flat and so my heart became brittle
And I knew by how his hand would tremble against my skin
Stand off-ish hands, my skin is scarred
I knew then he no longer wanted me
I could feel the slow slipping, away.

I'm taking these pills to feel something more than what I am
I feel ******* Alive, drowning in pure bliss
Is this why they call it ecstasy?
Morphed bodies and connected souls
You can feel the music running through your blood vessels
Flowing through every Artery and *****
I can feel his hand grabbing at my heart
And ripping it from beneath my rib cage  
He's holding my heart in his left hand
And a blunt in the right
I'm scared but I'll just hit the blunt.